i AM

sort of a scientoligist you know

I ASSUME beck left that management firm for the reason i stated but hinestly athogh onc ein France i looked him square int he face and stated as such he got uncomfrtable and sort of shushed me about the person who i think is an asp

whatever- its HIS right to talkabout HIS stuff and i probably shouldnt have blabbed

but i am sort of a sci. so get out your garlic and crucixes.

Im certainly a fan of alot of thier stuff- and you can Scream at me all night but its not going to change my carefully created opinion.

so sci friendly? yeah thats what i guess i am.

And words like Ethics really do something good to me so thats My expirience3- but when i had a thread about it it turned into people rushing over here like maniacs who dont know anything about The Band oim in or music i make juys alt.fan.religion people who went NUTS on me witht he Lisa story et al

i dont care. I like em and theyare good for me- and to me.

clove
-approx date and time unknown, guessed

nirvana club.com
we are startinjg to really like ramus who runs nirvana club .com

he is really cool and we wpould definitly consider having him

do the official site with Brooke

now- let me be really clear

I really really like my site- i come here alot- i get fucking great advice from people i get to learn great stuff froma cedemics on here i am so proud of the community that we built

YOU do not have to like Hole or Me to be a Nirvana fan-= i dont give a shit

that would be absurd

Nirvana/kurt seems to have impacted every kid of divorce

I just seem to impact smart kids with evil fathers-its not the same number and thats OKAY- just respect his familya nd respect me- thats all.

i like the audiences i see when i play- i can get any kid up on stage an dknow wshe snot a security risk- imagine having an audience you dont hate? its a dream- if the next record sells more than the last i can only hope itll bring the same QUALITY of human into the room with me

read phyzyst posts or nefarious muses posts or jem and the holgrams ( whose been in my house) posts these are people i would hang out with- let babysit- let sleep on my couch- or silly ryan or emin the fucking hippy

people i would have been friends with in detention or the stoner part of school– juts not the cheerleader squad( although i hear the punker girls are more cheerleaders lately)

Hole sells alot of records and im comfortable if not ( compared to berry picking for fuji farms in oregon or stripping at Jumbos Clown Room) reallyw ell off from music i make and movies i do

i dont need you to “kiss my ass”

but if you talk out your ass and dont show my family some respect im going to get mad- lets unify and who posted the laughs part?

yeah it is supposed to be fun

and your right the other night i got very very sad and emotional and typed alot of what iw as feeling and just respect that it rust 80% of the people on here with those feelings that weve all felt

Kurt Cobain once walked into my hospital room with a present after i had our child- you know when he fainted and asked for some more morphine cos he could “feel her pain” ( you need to LAUGH at that- any excuse right? jesus)

it was the Yoko Ono boxxset

i threw it at his fucking head-

he was howling on the floor laughing

“but she invented punk man”
“yeah thats what your love rock asshole girlfriends told you”

“well im going to save her” he says ( he forgot to)

iw rote 20 years in the dakota in my bed that night

just afunny story of what he uh…thought was HYSTERICAL.

i hope he got a bruise.

anyway to get all fugazi on your butts- dont feel the need to patronise this place or be “noce” top us we dont care

we are the smart girls that scare the shit out of the Nirvana jocks- we dont want you over here- go to the cambridge thesis thread and see if you can keep up- were discussing Neoplatoism, Hypatia, Math, Julius Caeser and the Liubrary of Laexadnria- and you wont be able to keep us with us- if you can welcome to this board- of you cant fopr now got o Nirvanaclub we like them- they are cool and like Brooke that guy just does it because he loved Nirvana afor the right reasons and unfortuantely loving nirvana for the right reasons matters to me the same way it mattered to Kurt

got to the forktounge thread wher ethemeaning of Bastard goes full circle ontop aht southern Belle silver i should monogram formyf riends wedding- can you keep up? nope youll get bored

go tot he “i fired my tea maid today” thread- we discuss the pornographic merits of all sorts of teas

go tothe magnolia thread ( wich cameron crowe read and thought id totallys ol dhim out for Paul Thomas Anderson- no way- cc is still God) do you have input? you dont?
okay we wont judge you- go back to the rock dude

SOMEONE bought 400 thousand blink 182 records this week and it wasnt US.
i rmember when micheal stipe started to see jocks at his shows and he hated it- he at least had a few years to acclimate before hand

Kurt got the jocks IMMEDIATLY and he hated it- we all did and many of you are still with us

it undertrates hima s sensitive jesus poet man ( im sure to address the sexual dignity persont hat kurt made out with mark lanegan once and i know he wanted everyone to know- and he always profesed a big regret to not ever having sex with one guy- so he had that streak in him for sure and he sure as hell wasnt ahamed of it- thinka bou tit im a dDRAG QUEEN total FAG- no guys go out with me that arent a little gay- its so okay that you thinkt hat- he would have dug it)

some of your favorite famous people read the shit you say about them on this site because its the most popular band sit eONT HTE INTERNET

but its for a certain type of person- really and if your one of those foo jocks- just go bitch somewhere else- well delete ignore and sometimes flame but ultimately

your boring us- i post emotional secret shit on here because its like my clubhouse- and yours- not the nirvanaclub foo people who call any female of any age sluts and whores and fagggots

do you really think kurt would like it to take your money? ch ching is all you become to us all- and i know to some degree that includes Krist- whose fault all this shit is because he irresponsibly gave his word on soemthing that was almost resolved and THEN couldnt control himself

i kept my mouth shut for over a month-0 and had no comment for the press- he couldnt return the same favour he asked me- this happens in every instanc eof nirvana business- krists opinion? whats it worth?

who poste dyou wanted yto hear all of it?

well i want you to too- i want to preserve and manage this guys songs and let you hear the good high level procustion stuff but also the deep shit with the baby crying in the background and krist has illegally appointed himself the decider person- im the decider person- thats thelaw - it snot open for discussion- its just the way th elaw works- keep your thought sont he law to another site or youll bebooted because your discussion is moot

and keep whore bitch cunt fag nigger words off of here unless your exaning them ina new or feminist or philisophical way

members of this site will go to shows for free get records for free because i dont want the money of people who give me great ideas of what music to listen to and write poetry that inspires me and give me reallyf ucking excellent advice - and i do it back.

we built this site with a nickel and some elbow grease while evryone elkse was spending hundreds of millions on BULLSHIT and me and brooke stuckt o simplicity and honesty and interaction- we would wtilllike to get flash and idlike it if my posts could only be viewed by regiustered members so ic ould really talk about real stuff liek id id the other night ( and yeah i should havetaken it down but part of me wanted an army of kids calling that asshoel and terrifying him for ehat he did to the family because it was so evil)

but it ook it down becaus eit waas wrng to scare you guys and some burdens God gives me to vcarry alone-

one of th eburdens Krist and Dave could havelifted from me amongst many was that one- amongst other things

poor fred durst even says ” and her husband wrote it” christ
can you imagine whatthats like? and you know that people know that it isnt true in th eleast and yet they allow iut tp be there int he world an dnever actively say “thats just not a fact” once?

just think of what eric has to put up with. he chants twoice a day and has been so pissed on because of this- he and i refused kurt int he room except we had him sing some backing vocalks in marrieta one night - but those guys know who write what kyrically oin in utero- and yet they never speak for me- as a mtere of fact grohl knowing the truth never stood up fo rmew and then stated that he liked teenage whore best of all mys ongs because “i know she wrote that one”

this i scalled bearing false witness and forme it was the moment i couldnt tak eit anymore.

anyway there will be peace here because fans of nirvana are not precluded from dislking or hating my band i dont care thats a natural fact

but we still want your input in the nirvana.com site so lets go

you know yougusy shouldnt abuse the girls on here i bet thier medien IQ is 140 lowest. smarter than your girlfriend.

l;ove and peace and EMPATHY to quote another

clover

ill just give it for free
to anyone i like and kurt would have liked and the rest if you can pay 500 dolalrs fro it or you could get some really cool sweet 75 and foofighter outtakes

pick a side and dont be stupid

kurt was my best friend not yours and not his lame bandmates other than pat smear who he loved

so be real careful about truning his suicide wich was his defiance his rage and his STUPIDITY too into an emaculated fag joke

let him have his fucking dignity ir a tleast RAGE wichis what suicide is

( a shrink tells me gun to head is grief and gun in mouth is RAGE)

you take that rage from him everytime you emasculate his choise to do this asshole thing wichis undoubtaedly and obviously an asshole thing

i didn tmarry a corpoiration and i didnt marry an invalid i married A really really funny son of a bitch who was the most ambitious person ive ever known

one ot htehtongs im doing now is a
starting nirvana .com the real one where you guys can hgear allt he fucked woirred cassete stuuff( for FREE and idea that thoise other giuys were way unhappy with)

andnot an artist direct site ( wichis wher ethe foos are and theyd get bonuses and links if id be afucking tard and do it there so foo man could have more chits)

but one built by fans run by fans

were also - now that this shit is over

doiing a book on random house of all his gross out boy comics and all his funny insane rantings
and all his sweet juniour hugh skool;

fake band drawings and writingf and stories and love letters to tracy and tobey( ill keep mine tomyself thanks)

and the insanley fnny 20 verses written lyrics to every song including
teen spirit

“were loiunge singers from las vegas hgere we are now entertain us”

and his hysterical letters to record companies begging for his big shot wichis the stuff that makes melike him

and some of our nastyletter fights where wed have who wrote better lyric fights and they are vficious and funny
fcuk you i rule

ni fuck you i am the king

ni fuck you i am the queen

im doing this now becaus eits fun to see people see him as he was and would have wanted to be seen himself not hti sdistorted passive saint person wioth no balls and no sexuality

the way you people talk its like he had a three inch dick

no story there-0 theman was HUNG - so dont take away the fact thathe actually had a cock knew how to use it and was the worlds sickest kisser

you forget he was the best FUCK that ever walked- slam you against the wall and beat your ass fuck- amazing noone is as goods in bed as thatguy was

you know the way he played guitar- yeah like times fifty

he wasnt some fey mamas boy- hewas a man- not a child and not an emasculated being

anyway ill pu tit out now that these assholes are off my chest and the fofifghters are not a concern of kutr ( GOD he would have hated that so fucking much and dave knows it titally-his shame is waht makes him write these inane songs almost all thier subtext firget the courtneys a bitch ones are
i m bette rthan kurt i am i am iam the dave stuff has him spinning not the fact that i got my saggy boobs unsaggied0- he would have thought it was cool-

as far as your jesus guy hating hollywood?
hello?
theyoffered hima part in “the new age” and he was jumping up and down
he met cusack and wanted ot do a movie with him

hemetgus van and wanted to do a movie with HIM

he loved theidea of being a movie star- period

somneone posted in another thread one of themnore sick evil nd vile things this evening
“whyshould wendy have mor emoney than krist or dave smom”

FUCK YOU IDIOT BECAUSE HER SON WROTE EVERY CHORD AND ARRANGED EVERY WSONG AND WRIOTER EVERY LYRIC

thats like asking why the drummer in hendrixes bands mom shouldnt have the smae a s hendirx

go to high school

take a civics class- wacth the godfather

and be HELPFUL here

we want to start a cool nirvana.com and ahve it be great and have stuff thatnoone else has

so dont piss me off with this bullshit

get tohgether with yourselfs have apowwow and stopinsulting hima nd me and our kid( some other asshole posted i was uh,,,teaching my daughter to be a SLUT?) id say that fine young person ill getyou rip addresand make sure you have to pay 600 dollars for a boxxset

do not insult my family- think twice-leave me alone gve theman his dignity respect thati run the show and help us helpo you get the kurt songs you want

ever hear”the son” its magical
ever hear”opinions” itd funny and sad
ever hear” ivy league” its sick

ever hear me and kurt havinbg a cuss out contest while singing where did you sleep last night an dlaughing our asses off?
itsd funny

ever hear the pat smear eric kurt songs? theyre genius

wanna hear em?

then help us build oiur site get together and banish the bad people kurt would have hated who call me a whore and his daughter a slut and take away his final act of rage- suicide is not sonething we shoudl do but un its own totallyu selfish way thatstuck me with all this bullshit

it was his act as a man- letsuse it to help other kids not do it

lets make a forum where kids cxan talka bout drug use and depression in a real way without being judged or harassed or talked down to

lets prive what the internet dotocme greedheads didnt get

that fanbs can build and run a site way better than corporate fuckers

lets think about whatthe artwork should be-im open to anything cooland want this to be outby christmas

lets thinkabout how tohandle thatthis guy ius dead- hekilled humself and how di we apporach that as a agroup without it beinbg gross?
whawould be tastefula nd kurt approved funny ways to do it>?
UNIFY WITH US T OMAKE THIS WORK OR LISTEN TO SHIT THAT SWEET 75 MAKES OKAY?

do you kids ahve a ckubhouse? hold ameeting- because there will b free files and stuff noone else has and good fore=ums for discussing suidical thougts and real answers about heroin speeddd coke crack etc not some bullshit loveline fake dr drew answers but real answers

and answers as to how you can be a great fuck and also a feminist too

go convene0 monitor yourself do you arent insultingmeor my kid or kurtsmonmand lets put an effort in to hoe the corproiate assholes that fans can do this themselves

you can email brooke with artwork and suggestions andlets get the oficial site iwthfofoicical treats up and running
and i dont LIKE playing widow and i dint want to do it
iwant YOU to do it

anbdleave us arty snarky smarty funny bitchy girls here at hole alone so we can go beakc to discussing hypoatianad shakespeare and the quest if the feninine befre your rudely intrupted us

are you someone KC would have wanted as a fan? if yoiu arentinsultung his family your halfway there

kc was not some bullying mysinginsit jock he liked me best int he worlkd and i him and as ive said fir everuy bitch inch i am he was eevry inch bastard so we were erresllay well suited

stop turning him into something he would have depised you for

unify and come back to us without his errant attitude or well run it and we wont let you in degrading me or francxes or wendy or kin

did i reallysee a “nirvana” fan oin here tonight calling kin cobain a “dyke”

honey you need otbe athe rtist direct limp bixket site- were picky we like nirvana fans whoa re up to standard an dno you cant be in our club if your a sexist conspiracy theroy n=homophobe lameass

so UNIFY if your fans and figure out becaue im th enly ine who can build the nirvana .com and i want your help.

so help- every piece if shit bullshit nasty remark is only tearing apart whohe was

give him the “dignity” r at least gravity his final act deserves

stop talking baouthis dyke sister and his slut mother and his whore wife and his slut ( 8 year)od daughter

whatis this ohenomonen?

you can register with brooke and shell check you out

but unify make some rules you dot break

your going tohave sine faith in me as i pu ton the loathsome wiidow hat in the pursuit of prtectingthe bext friend and best fuck ive ever had

theres alot to do
want toput and callme names and fuck thingsup

aor as fans want to put some faith in me and brooke to helpus make site thats really yours
exanibe your sexism carefully- kurt was the best friend other than edward and jim an dmilos forman ive ever had- he realkky was cooland funnya nd wicked-celebratethat and respect thathe was my best friend and stop the madness of your anger and craziness- your going tohurt himand take away whathe loved

sure tjheres always fgoign tobe soem crackpot “shes a whore ahse a bitch” nightmare perosn its your resposibilty ESPECIALLY IF your ihn nirvanaclub t o helo us make thissite magical and secaila nd helpfula nd cool

its up to you- goo d luck and chinese food

cl

then just help
brooke buil d sgreast site

we can have it up in the month

just unify and stop tryijg t do you r kirst and dave thing- thr jufdgement passed its over- ther would be mo nrivana.com builot by yiu guys if i lket thier sleazebag guys pu tit ojartist direct to sell you shit’]

ksit and dave and cahd and ajson were all oin nirvana treat then nicelyliek bandmatres should be treated

i am not he shouter here inthat scene btw- kirsat id th shouter and imnot quitig himn now but the marxism/anti commercialism? iknow what kurt would haqve liked shit is over

the fans can - the real fans- can build this site with NO interference from me

the sit isnot about me

we at hole are the amrt cunty girls and boys and some ar enirvana fans and some arent

we like to talk about feminism, poetry, tea, film, good rock etc

OH theres another greatthing inthe kurt box i just remmebered( theres six boxes of whiw wiritng)

its his topo100records of all timeits sso funny

krist and dave wer egttoing ready tot rade nivana.com to a sleazy oplace not run by fans

brooke has this all figured out and now do it

i reallyappreciate the support

stop whining baiout krist in= will always try to givehimn his say- he know sthat- hes justtoounpredicatble and destructive
‘
he sint aLLOWED to destroy kurts tapes and he isnt allowed to turn a blind eye while GAS tried to renogotiate foo figjhters using nirvana as keverage

dont worry about that worry about Kurt whow as “:nirvana: kust sole stuff iahe+ nirvana kurt weithpat and eric and patty+ nirvana
kurt with eric and pat+ nirvana
kurt byhimself doing all these acoustic songs_ doing nirvana

i appreciate whatyou guys are trying too do and you dont have to :kiss my ass” or whateverr passed for being cordial and unifeid toget something you and i both ewant done

just don t stick up for them- they are rich theywillhave u=input esp krist they just wilkl not run the show and hurt it

it should be run by FANS like thisisteis and i APPRECIATE very very muchthatyour making ther efofrt tonot hurt me or my family

just dont discuss the k and d situationa dn trust me not to hurt krist either”i could have many tines but i keot hin =m invoilved-so just chille

he just has toichnage the strcuture and benmonitored so nothing precious of frances’s daddy gets destroyed

thats all

email brooke shes got a total plan we can have thius up and running within the next twoweeks and it can be a democarcy run by YOU GUYS

ANOT ME it snit my site- but i will protect it oaky?

so fo t he cool ones thanjs for the truce

saty where youa re and have sone faith thatthis guy was my best friend ill ever had and iuwll do whatever it takes toprotect him and the music he left behind.

i swear tot hat

cl

‘tuition

geek and uhl

i am putting you both through school right NOW so you dbetter send
brooke your shit or miss my good mood

just shut up and do it

and thank me later

i put someone from this board through art school and hes now like the
king of creative at a record company and anytime im really pissed at
someone all i ask is that he torture them a little. so its not free,
but if you dont send brooke your info ill forget

and m,aybe being a sci is better than all this insane fucking universe
of ssris.

my shrink doesnt give ssris to anyone- he doesnt even have a
prescription pad but he lives in ny so its phoners.’ …..

—exact date unknown