I Claudius
Middlemarch
Claudus the God
addition to perfection marion woodward
history of love dian ackerman
history of the courtesans current fave
teh god delusion mind blowing

(Note:this post is in response to a question about her favorite books)

both f its jam the lyrics are second on a never go hingry song the lyrics were there first and siusnet marquis a mess ton of lyrics were there forst, pch the musoc wa sthere after i thought o fthe title an dthen the lyrics the who workld is in my hands was a collusion ,the one on the skin was just me scatting but i dont know how to iumporve it i think Linda need s to hit it shes just so busy it sabout gettinbg her time nobodies daughter was very Linda but then Damon came up with the amzing keyboard part an dthey did the thre epart harmomnies whn i asnt arpiund , loserdust billy encpouraged me to keep as i was throwing it out an dhe said :”thats a cute little punk song dont get rid of that” umm the homework assiugnement i presently have from LP{ is a nevr go hungry type thing= for onc ein you rlife was band aroubd campfire song- all the guys lp and me-and literally those lyrics were the lyrics and they just stayed there and hap[py ending story was music first, samantha has samantha ansd vowel sounds on the verses, linda wrote that amzing littel bridge thing, Billy N me worte the rest, malibue i was trying to figur eout exactly waht happend there i know Billy arrnaged it but i know i hd most of the riffs written and alot of lyriocs hes the one who md eit more comple though= the trick woth hom os to get it and take it and make it your own, cod he will go to the “wall” in the pink floyd sense an dyoull be without a chorus but man whenb your in the room with the guy and hes no t thinking an dits not fo rhim, its for me, its so much better, i have a wuestion? be honest. how is zeitgeist? ryan will kill me ive inly listend to the cribs cd once and im scared to listen to zeitgeisti just recall tow thanksgivings ago billy in the living rm with me lisa an dneil and singing to this eight rack recording and it was so unfettered and clean and had lotsa choruses and stuff and i thou
h”wow the kids got a shot IF he has a good producer and doesnt overthink” so tell me what you think? even uf you hate it ill stay loyal to him. cos he has saved my life twice and he s there when allthe lights are out man, we just have thes ewerd years off, but ui will wnot allo wthis to digress ibnto anything othe rthan positive between him and me given that can is ee hinest answers polease ? specific to songs and stiuff>? why have yo ubought it ? why havent you? this isnt a smashing pumpkins/billy forum feel free to spek your truth also anothe rquestion how is reznors latest effort? the one bvefore was a bit of a bore, but i heard thos ones a bit better, someone even said alot better. someone said a bit , someone said ehhhh who cares. whaqt mkes you buy a cd instea dof download? the art? wanting it in mor ethan one format? why do kids who can download buy linkin park cds? those guys are near my age so im really curious how did linkin park emerge as diude kid leader band - i know “demo——cs” isd a areally dirty word but ell me this does no t fascinate you
35% of linkins buyers ( of cd) are feamale their shop fo choice is Clares wich by the way is ain idd story too they do no t advertise and they mke a massive massive profit selling 19cebnt made in twiam glittering decorus objects for i used to think buck buit someone shcooled and said “No try 20 bucks” 20 dollar prcepint! wow, tell me that does not fascinate you in some odd strabge way.
shit sometiem si love “demo//////cs” it give syou real insight- the coke people have the really scartshit isnt tht who makes moutanin dew i told em id consider doin th emountain dew ad if i go t a bunch of”demo””’s” and you know what mnountaibn dew drinkers THEN were ten time slikelier to commit suicide do extreme sports take narcotics and listen to muci by dissafected women. evil shit these demos. in the worng handf s just a manioulative tool. i love that linkin stat an dthey didnt even really try, thehappen to be nicer guyys than the othe rnu metal guys and write or eote good melodies compared to limp bizket well way better than that byt from that era- this record has 5 ballds in it wich flips me out. then theres MCR , whod od 2 nights at wembley i listend…. i love love love gerard. whats up with that stufff though? i loved the helena video and song, but d pnt think i quite grasp…..well ill keep my opinions to myself ive answrred yourt question now answeer mnone . did any of you purchasde icky thump on cd? did icl ythuno do well? that band sells about a million right? is it good? i thin kelphant is good.
why didnt you download is what om reaqllya sking when you buy a cd why do you buy it ? everyone that bought that linkin park cd couldve downloaded it and my throy is amybe they did but lso wanted it on nother format? downloading sucks for us we get nada from it. so somehow the artwrok on a small jewl box must be complelling im thinking canvas and felt things….you know little prizes, i also thinbk igot a very risky but very cool acover art idea, out of my four ideas, a few are nmor evideops than anything. miss world type videos wich btw i like mor ethan violet i basically directe dboth although sophie mueller is great and ha that great dp. but i loke directing and until durt put hids naqme on vidoe if you dorcted your own ( i kidna well idid kick the celeb skin dorector off the set as she went int o massive obertimne abnd ididbnt shoo tit in clour so confident was i that io was gonna gert thios technocolour thing down) but still ist nice to be directed .
but i do like thinkong uop th eideas myself unless its david cos hes fucking genius and i wanna collabarte with him fo rthe first two vodeos, if i could id do allthe videos with him, he knows hos shot he knows alot npr ethan ,e wich i always enjoy and he works his ass off iu also happen to know whqat he doesn t like behaviour wise what none of us like actually ego manicas crazy bitc h ass behaviour on his set, iuve left that way behind so im looking fwd to this expirience, he dressd me the othe rnoght iw as gonna wer a mqceeuun vest and a pair of high waisted balck shorts an dhesws like “get bakc in the closet thats so kate moss two years ago= i think the shorts were actually hers!” and get that on NOW! thin whit eduke ! NOw~! he came ot reharsal and put liam in the spot light part when re liam tje leop scomes aliev and loves every second of it- that kid is like amiracle baby= ya didnt think he was gonna make it and then he cscooped us all, hes a pleasrue andf a deloight and la doesnt freak him out that kids a rockstar = its like your own children and you can t have favourites and id o nto everu once in a while i jiust get misty ve rone or the other also nopte to self Pato you cant wear heel s anymore and we love wash other but we look too tall and short next to wahc other i know she needs to be near stu but david insisted art rrehearsal abnd after the show, she needs to wear flats so she can focus on playing and she needs to stand at the emnd she stil with mick o and with stu if the stage is huge then stay tghe same. i jsut thin kdavids right we look too different sizer wise and dont say who cares this is show business!
hasd anyone npoticed patos BOD by the way OMG! her waist is like 18 inches, she wears a size 0 nd iuhaventr seen boobs lkk ethat sinc ewell for long time! and i live how shell take a chance on any clothes on anything and be as weird and stuctural as pissibvle an dshde got chosen cos she wa steh BEST BASSIST i didnt even note how hot and wocked she is. and bethia i liked her totally y shes a freak like me and a lobner abnd maybe she doesnt really wanna be a rockstar. im not quite sure but i did lobve ho wmy trendy London friends couldnt stand her- energetically and were actually tather wicked, it mad eme like her more- cos i knew America would love herand mnan oh man did they ever all the studio execs were dying over here an dthen i dripped the “c” bomb Cambrige for Sanskirt even an dtehy were basically frithing at the mouth,and stu as we know i believ to be perfect in the peak of healtha nd truly truly gifted and he has such a mellow lovely dispositionan dplays like THAT, and then my baby Micko , th eguy needs to show 3up fo rhomself, cos hes go t the kid of chops you dont get often ehatever stormenting him we need to get to the bottom of becaus ei need him to shoe up for himself- hes up theere in the savant sweeptsakes he hasnt put th etime in like Billy sdespite playong professionbally sinc ethe age of four in his fsmily band he ha sye tto find a tone bu ti mean Peter Buck Kurt Billy savant good potential is there he just need s to rehearse even harder and get out of hid oen style a little just to try new things an dtak ethe Celtic style an dfuck eith it and reinevnet it so its coming from him like a ray of light.

anyway thats my band, i meess em an d need em back soon b ut oatience, i got alotta stuff to prep fp rthem, thney will be working theor assee off sonne enough so i wanna sell actual cds what mnakes uy them thats my question, and my secobndary question is that are there choruses on zeitgeist?
does artworkl make you buy cds?do big billboards in Times Square?

it and maybe soem of that was public but he spoke oto me privately manty times to checxk on me and i willalways love him fo rthat and even sent someone doen to check on me hes very very good man but im afraid on on a fdoffernt prgram now- im atthe age when Vogfue covers mattr more to me im afraid,. and gashion is doing stinningkly well and i want to very much and in fact have started a new line “never the Bride”i sthe name of the high end line. very high end

singke sin uk with amagzine i think my spinsir i n this record is taliing about serious push stiff liek billboards its reather exciting. uop there wuth the bras and the jeans! but he belives in t hsi record more than “anythung else in 20 years”: so its allvery exciting and its an old 90s budget but baby i cannot do low budge i just cant i can do medium budge evenb as long as there smovie s on demand room dervice and some good books 180 days oi vey i beetr be in peak heaklth and ive nevrtourned this thin, ive aklays been 145-150 for touring but iu like the thin thiung, im very happy with nmy dentist by the way im not gonnahave to get any surgery i dontthink thabnk god i hate it, was platng with reds cos i cant imnagine wearing armani bff with gloss forlife! i get ina red move dammit, and my lovely kevyn i gave to pato 70 bucks fo rthat shit i think im taking uit bvack my dentints is a genius. and i love having an older guy sponsor mad eof money who loves this record mor ethan anytging

hang doqwn you rhed john dooley
frewell angelina
paint it black
little recd rooster
strawberry filds ( haaard)
boots of spanish leather
its all over now baby blue
sisters of mercy( weird tuningit iook me momnths)
dirt ( iggy stooges)
paranouid- sabb
selects fro m john lee hooker robert johnson and lomax fierld blues recording s in d tunings.
etc

(Note: this post is a response to a question asked about first songs learned on guitar)

blogs my space

ll syull blog about musc only and read your comments and visit daily or as much as i getteh time to, my site is safer. nd were gonna make it waay safer so if you get asked some questions coming in its just becuse we can sniff trolls nd m,edi moles pretty well here its not so easy. love c

they call her a her!"blogging"

im gonna stop posting someone snukc in my blog subscrioptipns thats a membe rof the media or somethingt liek teh media
i wa stols today about tmz being trabnie aobsessed with everyone whats yup wiuth that Harvery guy? why cabnt he deal with the fact hat my operation is one of the better ones outta stickholm and you cant evebn see my adams apple? i mean in fact i can even go INTOP LABOUR! that dr was gret! from denmark i bekleive he was helena chritensons dad.

anyway i dont like letting my peeps down and my blogging although fun and fun to do late at night i have alit of othe rthing siu need to get donw like make every tiny little nixing note write a riff for carcrash and anothe rcontender song and do anothe rdylany never go hunry tyoe r song make yo my mind aBOUT art work an dtit,es read thes escru=ipts that have hit my bed as of laet ande stay the hell off the net- uese teh phone instead- sthis mac corrupts so im gonna split for a while ive inly ha dthis my space a bit so ill jkeep it a little mor elow key i dont like makuing the blogs or th enews not legit news but news and trhe redtops for stuff not to do with musi c an dart, rock on ill come visti and alway spost a little soemthin just nothiun thats non eof yalls business thats for my friends an demy mnentors n dmy team and my therapists.
lotsa love
courtney

kudos

pls esplain wahta kudos means? i am putting it out scred shitless bleessyou and nam myoho renge kyo!)( ps you with lung cancer at 38! im so so so so sorry as i sit her smokin does it mean you read it? im atard i know iwa son phine woth head os my Space and iwas klike oi blogged too afarid to ask him actually i hate that workd BLOG iwas talking to poeple on the net when AOL first started !!!!fST fuckit i was the first celeb blogger end of story, ical;led it posting however! pls explainw ahta kidudos is and why the numerioc adsignet som,eomne anyone? a homo? aftyer allthat data fropm the site i feel like i know y all so much better now but what sghocked me ina good way was the homoe percentage, iwas at forst alienated by it cos im sop as i said used to dance homos andused to being homo mraginlised or set tot hr side cos teh cool homos in my gen were rare eve3n tho i was raised by drag queens, and have live din homo culture my whole life im not usd to thi snew demo—–c( dirty word) of under 24 hgay boys! like i sia dimn fucking thrilled, i just go tin my pjs and my body looks great but my face looks gaunt, my cheeks esp, i dont wnna look like wieland, thats too many meds, kets not go there. as wee old friends, he was kind enough to ask me to sing at a velvet revolver album poart y the othe rboght but i did pass, im just not there right now not to mention iwas working, but coulda got out of it- ilike allthos eguys now, except idunno i just gfeel they sorta dont rep me orwhere im at, idont ussually share much boput my exes or my personal life but a film camde up that ive been waiting for for ten fucking years, finally the studio has gone through llthe Julias etal nd exhausted it with that team, all iknow is i havent worked in five years and i dont hav ethe chops to do it without havinga n exckleent director or maybve even dorecting myself in apart this easy, theres load so f rewrites, and i coudl run with this afte rthe tour and do th eplay bit she who does the play always gets fucked fo rthe art in the film, madge has been trying to do this for teo years in thewest end ancd it just fel ion my dammed lap, and mn i wanna do it not mor ethan i wann rock but ive sai dthat vefor ebna dmisse dout on eone of the highest grosses t fiklmns if not th ehighest grosiign film of all time yall got celbrity skin, so did i, but i didnt go do this action sci fi film in the wolds of australia, and i live ot regeret not fdoing thatt hionga sit had sequels nd looked c ool, and c skin had to be mnad eright hten or i wouldve lost my mojo for those songs, or would i? why do people expect me to be pretty slick an dpoptart perfect if i was on amovie junlet u would oparticipte in all of that but im just not , ive hadmomendt wherdc i never thought id worte aknother song reconnect with firend have nyoen to fuck or love have any money have a klife and yet inm her e on my toile de juoy ( wich is over unless its super pastel light doso you can barely tel;l iys there therwise forgetthe toile do not upholdter in it the tres chic interior thing right this second is BLACK seriously black candlesticks balck lamps blac k upholstry not like velvet i mean canvas almost frenbk gehry black but with some romance to it and just blaqCK PIECES I SWEAR YOU CAN GET EM AT PIER 1) and try www.seraof london.com i copied one of her chairs took a silver regency chair with gilt an dlacquere dit balc jand mad eteh buttosns in the flocking a bringht rasberry scarlet) cool. seras cools he did send the two ugliest lamnops ive ever owned and i sent them back but ince she gets the dimensions right i judt dig her its alot of exexs of rockstars as clients and i guess im sort of the uber ex sinc ei have ny own career( one of the dunmbvest slaggings i ever got wq sin bebe buells book she was liv tylers mom and a groupie and she accusd sharon stoen of steakling ehr acting career And me and chrissie3 hyknde of being groupies just wiuth guitars uhhh…no we play therefore we can fuck who we want sort of like dudes babe) an dthe othe rreally funny one perez hilton sent me it was about PCH an dit ws some kiddle it was justr so perioa and i know i knwo i must adress teh folks in poeria a good Parade an dReadersw Digest ibnterview and ill be fine i gies sit was about PCH and how “Kelly Clarkson could really have rocjed that song Linda Perry wriote” uhhh linda didn twirte it bu tth eClarkson thing and no iffense ot her i klike dthat song Frances liked whden she 3was 10 i guess the ine she wrote abotu gehr mom an dthe ne max martiubn wrote sinc eyouve been gone undeniuably a max mafrtin classic as is hit ne one more time- wich was written right whren i wrote hiut so hard and im sad cos the song mine didnt come out right co s billy didnt direct hoe it needed to be played or it coulkdve been teh best sosng in Cskin it sstill my sec ind fave on there but its rendered totally wrongfully the drums are set wrong so teh whole things i sfucked up if it had been renderted correctly and i had been a soniuc nazi to Bienhorn ic oukldve preserved it- Billyd so funny he iverthibnks his owb shit like until hes insane bvut he s so orrevrant toeards my shit he just comes an d sprinkles faairly dust guitar klike burping in there,and they are lovely prts but just like c skin but with hiugher stakes and mor ethan 9 days 33 days this time til he was uhm….well he left the porject, it wasnt ME thing it was just well our business but 33 days from William with him just playing his lively sprinkles is fanaswtric and we did aakot of swriting pre Lind aand she trasxhed most of it, its prertty nutty stuff, theres one Johnny Cash fuftiues type suns tudiops sonfg called woldfire that i stilllike, wich i couyld odd that jack white flasetto id make it really white stripes,wichis a falsetto througha fender twin nd old strat and the reverb and treble turned way up- dont think jacks a pedal dude, maybe he is does anyone know wht pedals he uses if any? i like moderningf my tone unfortunatly in thes eshows my dammed tond ewas the last thing anyone as worried aBOTU ND WE HAD A SKELATL CREW OF THREE, so my tomne wasnt allthat iump[ortan tbut then bight After night we realised how inportant my tone is cos sometime si liek going faster and soemtimes slower and stu stays steady b ut sometime si want5 him to come on up - every note onthis record is siupposed to be there it ook Lindas hardest effort of her life- and i listen to every word she says she been mor ethan generous an d mor ethan kind and shes in fact been a soul m,ate and agreat oartnert and snyone wgho wanst to give her shit about he rpop hits YOU try comingt back from beinga one hit wonder and you tell me your gonne emerge with fucking muse and ok comnputer- no way your gonna go for the thriat of power- your gonna take your piop songs an xlearn beaTS and invent pinks and reinevent etsfanis and save xtinasx fronm thier dirrrrrty brink - christ ive heard “beautiful” years befor eit eas xtinas and its a bowie arrnaged roc k song, so linda got her power nd her internal music indistry money and respect but zometime speopel give her a hrd time about her pop cjoices an dthey can eat me, cos she has perfect and total chops in rocj n roll and anyone who doesxnt think so doersnt understand the oddysseythat woman has had to go through opr th rordeal she had to go through coming back like i f katrina if katrina and the waves came back amight y force- fter 8 yeaqrs of beingf battered shed make the smart poerful choice and give a big flip yhe bird to the NME/Cred makers ive never had to do tghat othe rtthan the “conspriact:” and the theft of my fortunes twice- but i had money to rely upon so i bnever had ot do any ar ti didnt wan tot dxo my judgement was wonky on the last record and it sor tof just does not count, ilike mono an djulian and lal the drugs i guess and maybe a few mor ebut i can te ven look atthat thing the art is so bad and it sold NOTHING and ididnt tour bout it and jann didnt give e the cover ont he end,k ghe piulle dit cos i was too fucked up - so what wa sthe point? i think i easx blown by n ot havun g my stone cover but it barely made a dent in ehaqt i was going through the horrific and ever increasing drug use and realisation id been used nd stolen from by a bank and that noone but noone was gonna hrelp me no police no fbi no da i felt like a dog like a sib species and sometime si stillfgeel that marginilised like recenlty i had a theft- it must be y ssystem an diu diud discover it was system a bon system where refertecnes were not being checked out by rhe poeple i entiurst to do that and was robbed blind b y a coked out asst that i got th eheebies on we all did he was lazy incompetent and a thief, a real robber too, treally terrble person, and then ghere comes anbothert one and hes not a druggie but a lazier guy iver never evert ever dealtw ith, and he wa shiring people without asking and sope3nding my money like water- and he had to go ater i checke dchis references and dicoverecd he wa skying about his foprmner job too and that despit ehis 14 years of sobriety he ha dbeen to rehab a bumber of times so he was just l,ying and being allrighteopus anxd whatever hes forgettable coes he did his damnage and i c aiught it aND I MNADE HGIM GO- BAM- BNIU TNOE THE SYSTEM IS SERIOUS BACKGROUND CHECK S LIKE YOUR NEIGHBOURS AN DYOUR FORMER NEIGHBOURDS SAN DYOUR DAMME DHIGH SCHOOL BIOLOGY T=EAQCXHER NOONES GETTING in wsithout getting grilled an di f they gave aflaw they best tell us rigfht up fron t vocs everyoen wroks so hard we dont need any nonsesne and i dont like feeling like a sib species that peple stillthink they can steal from- the last thoef is a n employee who has my website and hse3s going down asap, its done for her- stealty like- anyway not my job a n doutta my hands the my space people haVDE BEEN GREAT THEY HAD 5 CAMERAS TH EOTHER NIGHT and ar eeditibg together cool stiuff for thos site and hopefully theyll odo thier v2.0 dept to make this space beautiful.; iwish ic oydl get backl tyo all of you presonally i read all of your comment s an dlook at all of your avatars and i see who oposts the most and who sdoest an dimn nopt just sitttin her eignoring you i take your input and your onservations very very seru=iously and resepct for all yall andyone wann atell ne what zeitgeiust is like? are rhere stillchoruses? i bought it to be supportive but havent had time to listen to it. its for soem reason ot compelling m,e to listen to it, no dis respect meant the art puts me off a bit im not sure what s being said here io gues si need to listen since what i heARD ON 8 TRAC J 2 YEARS AGOW IUTH CORGAN JIST ESINGING TO ME AN DNEAL STRAQUSS was amazin, b tu then i heard mid level demos and it wasnt so good anymnore and then amybe he pulle dit together an di dunno , he sold a few this wek wich is great, i just getthe feeling teh kids dont care - i hop eimn wrong, i probably am, ihafd an idea of whay to caLLTHSI RECORD today absouloutly n othing. hows that>? theres ore but i f i go with this idea ill do it rightits a risj but all of my best ideas have been risks. znyway shit ots 430 am im off to sleep lert me know your thoughts……cork

me too
the last band couldt get it together to improv, this ine wul=ill were already doing it having all bveen in indie bands and bands they love doing it as they are rendering prewritten stuff i dont think they know hos awsome they are making it sound, or ho wimportant a job that is because obviously poeple feel closer to things they composeedd or were a part of and thats one reason why LP and i wantt hem to play the last two traqcks on the record it gives them equity on every level an d a priceless educatiuon to walk Linda at work noone works harcder ina the studiop in my expirience not even Corgan and his long hauls cos he needs directing and LInda is the direcdtor and alsi teh creator of do much she doesnt need directing she knows her limits and fodes what she can to not get consumed by work, inany case she can teach these kids a fuck of a lot mor ethan o can but i m dammed good at the imporv thing cis i like it and when ive suggested it sonically they all jump right in thereaSON MOST OF YOU LOVED PATTY OTHE RTHAN SHE AS COOL AND FRIENDLY ND GREAT IS COS HER AND ME WERE SO CONNECTED that w coudl i,mprov easy and teh othe rtow woukld i must say in retro spect rathe rgrumplily and reluctantly jopin in but it was anbd remaibns a good signature and a fun exercise anvery very upset with erlandson opresebtly found out hes been selling off Holes backlinbe wich was Nirvanas backline and im about reasdy to call him ion it, that s iurreopalceable geAR AND WHAT people wouldnt give for Kurts guitar tone and it was gutted wich w sthoughtless and stupid and allthose mnarshalls- how could he do that?
anyway lets see if its true but i have a sinking feeling it is. really thoughtless but cinsidering the Buddhism hes opracticibng os so wrong it makes sense, that hed steal and sell for nothing things wich if they were ever goign to be sold could sell for s fortune an dif they were to be used artistically by some one like Linda or Rick Rubin woukld be cherished and treated with respect gone with the dammed wind, im very hurt bu tghis.
eso condsidering allteh water carrying i did for so so long and all the keeping togethe rof things yes eric had a very aggressive guitar tone and was a fine player he wasnt much of a composer other than his nadir wich wa snorther n star and that thing was like getting blood froma stone never had i had or have i had such a hard time cmmunicating and mnaking mad gestures and using crazy adjectives an dhumming and pohrasinbg the mist complex shit to get a simople tune hard to oplay becaus ethe phrasibgs unique bvut nit etchnically THAT hardrd an dthe phrasings unique cios imn find if 5s 7s and 3s, wich is klike beinga southpaw almost i t just throws peipkle but i like songs with thos enumbe rwsin them and 9s i especiually like 9s, 9 repetuions 9 bars , i just like odd nyumbers rathers than all 4s and 6s, it throws people just a little there son missing or there son extyra they arent used to , its fun , im rpetty sad for common sense reasons i expected i didnt have ot go out and purchse a whole new bacxxkline and for years we had kurts backline and none knew it but it nmad emne feel safe, and let sjust hop ehe hasnt sold it all- because iu liek usubg thos e marshalls abnsd that gear ut like i said makes me feel safe ancd like im covered ina clouid if pritection, dunno why, but yes imporving is half way to compostition actuya;ly if ou can make up a bit ion the spo nf ont of peopke you make yous]rself far mor ecomfortable in front of that audience and al,so practice composeing uncer pressure wich can make for some really cool lyrics and tasty piece sf drummubng and pkaying, its impotrant to me in fact its crucial i couldnt be ina band that didnt luve imporving an dthank god these guys pile on and stand in fucking line to imporv theres nothing begrudfging bout heor attotude about it its like give give giuve m, eic h is what a band shoudl be about.

i like the vocals bit LL THE VOCALS are gonan sound 50-75% better wehn the mix is done, dramaticallty these vox were just recorded in my ballroom witha shitty little mic of peteys, and the lyrics blow imho an dteh drums are faux buit for some reason when we attempedt it wout LINDA it got worse with real drums and whatnot, ireally am quite codependendt in that woman nd shes got insane platinum ears and she is a rock( and a roll) and i think it sjust needs to be less sssssss ssl spiunding i thinbk its good bones and wht yoru resposnign to positivek,y ixz great but theres a bit too much midrnge no treble for me in terms io an sss sound that pro tools gives ione its slick no doubt liek cskin was slick,when we dsay “rw: ewe mean less slick sounding than this although ye steh creamy vocals are fin to indulge in, and id liek to ekp t teh vocals creamuy.;
i gotta stay off the net i feel like ive been on thi sthing for days and im getting in allthese news blogs and shit as much as i liek engaging with yall its just not worth the trouble but m,ybe if i just keeo eevrything ot th emusic itll be okay to nswer some quwestions tc and when willtehy get over my spelling? i dont read the blogs jus the headline s but uits silly hiw much emohasis thay all put n my spellin g….anyway bacl gto the song we dod appraoch this ibn a proper studio with real drumsd an di didnt like the resultso back to the demo- and then teh kids an dme approached it from this demo i THINK maybe not maybe we apporache dit from the “mix” we got and not to be cranky but i was nt happy with taht at all- it needs Lindafication prticualrly in teh bridge an di realllyr eally like where teh lyrics are now i think teh demo lyrics re lazy wellthey are infactlazy i didnt wrote one down ots just waht i scatted in that moment, maybe that has value but im a little but of an overthinker about lyrics however simple they my appaer to you they ar ethought through evbery one i do like how3 yall picke dup in the last line of the last verse of never go hungry re “to be a man”that miught be my favourite lyric ever ive written just becaus eits so fucking simople hinest an dpathetically true, that theres now ay out of hell unelss you reslise thATR ITs a mans world and behave liek a man. im glad yall bnoticed its so dramatically simple on purpose o didnt think anyone would get it, ihave a good skill set for lyrics.ND WHEN YOYU HAVE A GOOD skill set its fun to restain oneself from goign all clever clever or toot hematic although theres is defintily atheme to this record liek teh others ( except the ine i ignore presently liek a chidl im estarnaged from id ont talk to it an dit doednt talk to me) ths oen has a theme that is carrie dthroughout every songa nds its a full story.in ckin i think the art work gave it waway and i think the artwork needs o be stellr for this. and i have so many ideas going to my head one is insanely simple and really really dangerous, but i like risk.

pop singers in the cut out bin/aka “The Stalker”

for me to respons would b like a jimmy choo talking toa shitty reebok. no interest in spilling the beansother than to say that that persons nickame in this town is “The Stalker” and she almost wentt o rehab? too bad since gak habits wher eone is doing rails the size of a babies head need rehabbing, using hoary old chestnuts about my deeased husband when breaking into my daughters room to try to “befriend her” and having her scream “MOMMMY GET HER OUTTA HERE!” ooooh theres soooo much more ……….
but anyone who is so obsessed with Winhehous ethey refer not only to her every other word( eg someone with an actual career not a girls aloud wannabe)as a “cunt” and her every word is reffering to herself as “relevant” , beyond that ill keep the real story to myself, jimmy Choos do not dance near Reeboks. I feel terrificlly sorry fo rthis childs drug habit but one could say to her l;ovely mother- “what do you expect?” considering some aspects of the p[omposity nd the lack of relavance or impact the child has made or willever make upon culture except through blogging on my space- thats not work thats just slagging people off thorugh my space during ones little moment. some of us are perrenial but its generally because our work speaks for us not because we spend our ONLY 15 minutes were ever gonna get slamming easy targets or repeating cliches about terrible painful expiriences. Kurts death is not a joking matter.To me or to Frances. If you wanna slam me to my face you do it, and i will decide the consequences, but when you bring my family into it you cross the line in a decidely tacky,desperate ,mean spirited and venal manner. But what ? i expected something else from “the Stalker” the “relevant” Stalker at that…hmmmm…..

obsessed culture

plastic surgery wieght sieght platic surgery plastic esiurgery weight- christ i dont remeber it being like this grwoing up i guess weve hjust turned into the culture we were always afraid of turning into look i OWN IT THAT IN MY “OUT SICK” ERA i went too far, i certainly dont have forehead or cheek implants or whtever or a FACELIFT thats insane im far tooyoung! but i did and i OWN THIS, did a trout mouth, with a subtsnce that doesnt fade, so it takes surgery to restore my face to natural, i feel like m,y mouth is too big still so im gonna have to go back and RESTORE it to NATURAL, thats all, iwish it wasnt a HUGE frickin story but its NOTHING>
and yet again i am not a trained TYPIST and i dont have any wish to be, miss perfect typist /grammr teacher so please piss off my nads- id like to work again and id ont want what happened when my judgement was impaired to affect my ability to be expressive and ive grown to like my OWN face the one god gave me, and i want it BACK, perhaps this is the new trend in fact i know three seperate people in public life who are having things rescineded, nose jobs widened, boob jobs out etc, idont like being assoicted with drastic plastic and i just simply and i thought in a donwplaying manner alluded to exploring the concept of perhaps and i say this with zero anticipation becus eit is bloody painful PERHAPS consulting with a very rarefied and very high end surgoen to go back to just ME, i dont lik ewhat i see in the mirror never have i, but i like being content with what i see in the mnirror cosd its REAL, at least.
;lllllll, i went too far and i own it but it at leaST thank god can be restored back to natural. i hope thi sis th enew trend , i think alot o fpeople in the 90s went too far, and maybe going back to natural is the newest coolthing to do, well it is for me saw a pic jebnifer finch took of the first time i ever did a certain something with flea n me and his then gf i wasnt so bad if i wouldve just been patient with my adolescence,…. but i wasnt and truthfully th enose had to go maybe on my grandfather this nose was iconic it didnt get passed down too lovely. Sometome si wonder what to do with that grampa thing. i mean im, female so only have the x chromosone-= if i di apporach one o fthe legit children- and theres only 2 left out of the 48 bastard children, theyre both males, wont me just having the x chromosone affect that? i wonder if its even scientifically possible.? to prove it i mean? obviously my mother willnever spill it because the only person whod recieve any “benefit” or whatever identiy in public manner from it is me and why on gods green earth would my mother ever do me any favour? she didnt go to tijuana(she claims i think she did and just got scared thats what ive been told anyway by my steopfather) me and thats as far as it goes with that woman. my siblings the ones i speak to always tell me that she has told them about Gramps, they arent public people , mayb i fi ask they will speak about it publically, but then theres a part of me that says “you dont need his bastard identity at all” stillitd be nic eot have dna proof/instea dof juts photos of puala na dhim in all his bios. Maybe …dunno…you can count on this Mommy Dearest is not done with me an dnever will be. this is the only shoe left to drop after that thing she calls a book cam eout and she looooovees attention is starved for it and said ” thi sisnt a jerry springer circus thing:” during her book far too many times making me thibnk she knew perfectly well she dragged me and Frances through the dammed mud, Springer style,
making some abstract commnet ove ran d over hopw she “did it for Frances” all she did for our kid is prove her mettle( none) andalienate her even further ( i gave my mother a chance with my kid nd my kid detested her the book just enforced that 100,000 more shell never speak to the woman again- writing books is just against the rule sof our fsmily i think Kurts mom hs every right to write one and am trying not to discourage her to do her own story , Heavier Than Heavan is very much on the nose, but Wendys side of things isnt told sinc eshe didnt do an interview or share her stuff with Charles Cross i dont think he slags her too much but she seems to think so so if she wants its not gonna alienate me or Franny if she wants to its just a line that onc eone crosses theres no way back- memoir ville.
exploit a vision.
anyway i just saw ms Barrymores UK Vogue and she looks great, im so happy for her an dhappy for her new life her new personal life wich i sure as shit am not blogging about but its been really good for me and for Franny -= we had our little estrangement but shes family to me and im family to her and its lovely to have that dumb little etsrangement phase over. It was pretty much all my fault anyways, shes a good fabulous girl and ive missed her madly shes always given me the best advice of pretty much anyone and ussually its been ignored but now im pretty much allears.
I do love UK Vogue, its the one o read ( i say guility) and i like Fr Vogue an d It Vogue US Vigue i dont really read or have an opinion too much sinc eoive never been too into it, but UK Vogue is so c hic it soff the hook, you can read dazed n Confused or NME or whtever, but UK Vogue is just so always on the money. here i am blogging about fashion mgs! i better go chaNT nd grab my Guitar, Linda gave me some homewrok and io gotta complete it.
per the album chill chill ive lerne dto be patient so must yall, im not sharing rough mixes with you , i dont wan tthi sto be stale and i do need some surpirses on it,
im looking into felt and canvas so the CD will have some tangibilty and its far far harder to get vinyl out than its ever been and whom but brits even have record players nymore-? i reAly like what Prin ce and the Stripes did with the free single sin the UK but its a law you have to get with apublication, and obviously the NME seems obvious but theres other fishes in the sea much as i love them, dunno havent mnad eup my mind, i have alot opf weddingf imnagary and cinderella imagary and behEaded imagary in my mind, what is it to be Nobodies Daughter>? what about NO title? idea after idea hits me, the impact horses made on me or how good the ray Of Light ( yes i am giving props there!) portarture was, sort of just iconic and hmnmm, keep making sketches and i just do not know, i kno wi love Elizabeth Peyton, who does this emini pictures oils of cute boys ( Kurt is one i really wantt o buy that one shes now like 1m aq painting these days and dammit i walmost bought it just cos i liked it all my art is jut sco si like it an dicve been really lucky with art going very much on my own taste and what i like and gifts, Francesco Clemebnte came to our Hiro show we had had a long long talk the night befor eon the street about his art vs mine, and i wanted to share it with him - and Schnabel who i dore as a human and i love as aperson iod love to have my kid do a portartit for Julian…)
okay now im blogging about ART,,,,when it come sto art if i want An opinion i just ask Lachapelle whose my space is really good, i dont kno whow to put himn in my top 8 nd he keeps saying hs gonna put me in his and then we both just forget, Lachapelle has very very constructive and bvrilliant opinions about art thats made me se eit all ina new way, i just liked my Eggleston, i loaned it to my friend a director cos its so very him, and theres these lovely fabulous Sam Taylor WOODS she took of me that i like= inotoced at a famous girls beach house recently how she has photo after photo of herself everywhere i have the one Sam up and its my back anyway, i dont think i wanna see myself other than famil;y snapshots allaround.
good move on Ryders part with the Vogue cover, iwonder how itll pan out? wonder whta the films are? we were friends for a long while but noone could call it a very constructive relationship. I won der if we could ever reapporach it in a Buddhist moderate manner, man i lived Girl, Interupted but well dammit shoulve done the film that Lisa part was always amazing i hemmed an dhawed so long that by the time Jolie came around no way was i gettin it, rarely do i whip out my pass list, its unladly like and rude to the actress who eventually did it or got it, biu t that ones pretty public, an di was happy for her that her exile is seemigly over, shes hell of a lot mor eintellectual and interesting than the latest models and US cover bims. hey im friendly with alot of them but they arent smart with good taste in music,Like Ryder, ive certainly missed her out and about, AND im super gl;ad she seems to be doing well she needed to do some work abnd has a fantastic SUPPORTIVE family up north so she just got ot dissapear no such luck with me i guess im too mouthy an di live in la and my family is one c hild and some ex boyfriends andd some director friends and a few actress friends and a few studio exec/.producer friends nd thats bout my family oh n d my former mother in ;law, dont really ahve a family , i mean this band is amazinga nd they certainly feel like family i can tell them anything and do anything with em and its going nowhere- they for the most part execpt the xdrummer stu who is percect have all thie rpown flaws and i have Linda and Howard and my Public Relations God- if that guy sai dto jump off a c liff i wouldnt even think twic ei d just jump off a cliff hes way mor ethan PR person to me = hes likethe person i do not wan tot dissaPOPINT IN any way = samew ith Howard andLlinda-its so importnat to have mentors and people whom you listen to- no matter what your skill set- lyrics i generally do not wanna know cos i know my way around lyric and unless its really stickijg out s pretentious even then it sthe onearea om pretty closed down, but ithink at a certain point one muct have open ers to ones elders and “betters” without subsuming ines own self esteem, eg lyrics ios my major skillset and acting is my other one and perfroming id my pthe rone- and the fact is except dsometimes for banter peopekl dont the one si listen to dont often conbfont or contriuctuively criticise teh things imn really good at-
becuzs eim rrally good at it-befor eim ready to sit with anyone in the mainstrem theres fe wthings i need to hve pricessed professionally- they ar epersonal issurs so wether its therapy or just talking them out with my Three Yodas, idont wnt persobnal feelings bout the past or anything NEAR A grudge or a regret to interfere with ehre and now and the fiuture-dont wanna dwell on anything past- just be glad im alive nd hav elived to tell and help iothers through it- and dont sty in SHAME or CONTRITENESS but never forget that shame, wht that public humiliation felt like- if i hadnt been through it the fw time si had id have never kearned the wisdom i have now - i bought “The Secret” snd ended up wanting to throw it across teh room= its llabout seeing things positively duh- but where sthe proc ess? because i ama Votary of The Lotus Sutra and because Nam Myoho Renge Kyo is SO fric kin effective and works so intensly to get you to the place teh Secret promises its just annoying knowing how many people re reading thi sthing an dputting it down going “eh wonder how i can fight fof my paranoia negativity and rise above a fixed destiny and expiate bad karma” ONLY by acceoting the LAw, that you abnd your environment ar ethe same thing that you created your environment, 100 percent that the only road to wisdom is a spiritul proctice that you do every songle day of your life, Tony Robbins invited me to his conferenc ein Long Beach i met him recentkly and i really like him and his wife Sage, and i cant wait tos ee his process- but illgive you an amazing fricking exampkle an dall thre eof my Yodas do this= ones THE most succesful lawyer in probably the world, ones the most usccesful songwriter and producer around, ones the most succesful public relations person probably ever- and lal have this Secret shit way diwn im stillstruggling an dtrying to get there= in one cse a certain musician has taken it upon themself to be aine person slag machine about ine of my Yodas= thos person says the most venal evila nd horrifc slabnders aboput my Yoda daily and nonstop- true slander- my Yoda is totally aware of it and chooses to not even allow it to effect thie rjudgement i fthis person on any way- lways positive and always remaining [opsitive no matteer how hard the deluded person slams my Yoda is always the first to say something sincerely positive about thos person, texting me to congtrtulate them for sales of a product the delusional person had texting me to say somethings weet about them, “How the hell do yo ido that?:” i aksed knowing that fo rme Chantinga nd aonly chanting will stop the negative processing perhaps its the way i was raised by wolves in a closet= buyt hen again this Yada was abused severely as a child, They simply refus eto allow negativity to pervade thie rlivces work or art, energy sensitive asthey have taught me to be go with your gut i am constantly being told, but i ned bto be reigne din a little but im certianly not allowing anyone to control my lofe but i defintly habd the reigns over to my Yodas/obi wans when it comes to my big moith or taking things too far, eg th e last blofg i shouldnt have even responded- why? whop actuially cares doesntthat just feed into it and isnt that juyst wahat that person wants ? to be connected to me somehow? of course and i feel right into it, so im fgonna delte that fucking blog- it doesnt need to be point3ed out that the person is irrelevant to culture at large nd even if they werent who cares? i dont care and the last thing iwant is to give a bratty child attention or my precious time- anyway ifyou gained some wisdonm from this know that the most succesful people on any fiele d re always the most positive the least oparanopud and the most involve duin work and art and cretaiviuty and outting the hppiness of others before thier own - the peopel who nurture and re patient and are akways poinbtinbg otu the positives re the ones we all trust =- why not BE that person?The Secret is jus the outcome of a xdeep soirutal practice, its no the answer to anythin g to get to life condition that je Secret alludes to first you must start with oyou rown nd others humanity and investigate a human revolution- www.sgi.org is a good starting plac ean dhaving tried it all- investigated Tibeten Buddhism SAbrahamic religions ( please please red the God Delusion if yoru caught up in one of those) Science, Scientology, all of it and im a big fan of EFFECTIVENESS ( what i spoje with Tony Robbins bout actually hes a big fan of my Buddhims becaus eit WORKS SO WELL) per my Yodas
i just wan tthem tp be proud of me same a i want frnaces to be proud of me-this guy i more than a sweeetheart hes prince Charming not ei dont even name him , i think everyone would be happy if i never typed anything! but i do like to blog sometimnes! ..
sadly i stupidly bloggede aboput my moith no t the big mouth part of my mouth! the unhappy feeling i have about what i did to myself in the dark years. i need to process that zstuff theraputaically or with friends so that im not sittingin some happy talk show or pkaying nusioc on some conert and obsessed wuth some shit from my past, it needs to be cdealt with professionally on alegal level and a forensic level but also on a heartfelt level i need tpo let it go and finally its b eing attacked legallly ina more aggressive manner. finally . so io can let it go now, and i dont have ot discuss it publically/

, anyway when oh when oh when are people going to cceptt hat im sober? it drives me fucking INSANE that ive been clean and sober coming up on 3 years now that means NOTHING no drinking no nothing, and it drive sme nots when people say i was drunk or am a “hard partyer” just cos i can stay up late cos im a night owl and have alot of adreniline etc doesnt mean i ingest mind or mood altering sibntsances so i wish these tabs would get ove rit= i fee llike im playing Monoply and noones gonna stop until i do an Oprah and just stop it myself with her. and a bundle of mag covers and a buncha TV , b ut i think O is effecrive fo r this, maybe they just cant accept that onbe can rock harder than one evt rhas when one is healthy, hearty and spirtually running atight program.
oky gonn delte that last post im not biting that shitty bait.
nam myoho renge kyo to all of you and blessings eternal to all of you, may none of you ever nbe in a hell hunger animality or anger ever again in your loves but yopu must mnake the effort.
love
cork

dudes/homos

it took me til NYC to accept the factthat there are no dudes in the demo and you know what? FUCKING EXCELLENT! i embrace this! id rather have homos any fucking day being that i am a gay mn trannie any fucking waay. just read your comments cos i dodnt know how to my blogs. swhats a kudos? im talking to the head of my sp[ace and im afraid to frickin ask, but im sooooo over the dudes, like i isaid having opend for metallica ive hjad the dudes and i prefer my frmale sof all ages and my young homos, colopur my ass liza im thrilled! move teh fuck ohvah scissor sistahs, im thrilled on the site you donthavr ot so much desrcibe yoru stykle as maybe your philophy opr jiust something about you what brands you like i dont give a fuck. but the home thing really got me as ove said sinc emy gen of homos allliked dance music and i fel alientated from my peeps as they went off vogueing, it was nnoying at best, by yall have grown up in lt rock nd ahhhhm fucking thrillllllled, never expected it for a sec , but here i coem Logo Advocte Gyuardian, baby!!!!! fey gay an dnot in my way.
Cork

courtneylove.com

i put up z demo of demo iof demo of carcrash we habve about 4 other songs too, and id like to get opinions on them sopme of them. i need to write another dylanney one rexcept i just found otu my fat fighters mafrtin got stolen on the chunneltrain and thats why i got that new gibson for my bday but i need it nd its nowehr eint hehosue the only guitar is kurts ild one with strings i havent changed in teh 12 years sinc ehes passsed, and its hrd to play too.
and unlessyou have a boot of the roxy shosw the lyrics are all wrong, i wrote the proper lyrics on the site i lik ehpow pleasant yall re but its so much easier to answer you indivually at my site n dthis willconnect tp ,my site wiuthin a month or so, were also piuttin up about 60 polroids me n the kids took around the house, my mouth still looks wonky, i think i gott go back to paris tot he dr, hes nit a cosmetic surgeon he just fixes bad surgery and also cleft palates and serious shit its nbot really vanity hes conservtive, wich we like, and this really isnt znyones business but im hating that id di that to my mouth back in the day and he didnt really take out enough the first time around i just wnt the mouth god gave me back, it was perfectly cute.
and i had nice big lips as Gwyneth says when i was “Out Sick” ( genius phrase) of my dark years id id some damage and i have to restore myself to not looking ridiculous, idont care if im prettty or ugly or jo de lie wich is what i apretty much am ( french for ugly pretty- theres no english word fo rit and im sure im nots pelling it right) anyway so imay dissapear for a minute here, i know iknow i tell on myself, im either stuck wearing nude lipstick forever or i can wear my 70 dollar Kevyn Red, wich is sold harldy anywhere and i stillcant believe the lovely mr Aucoin passed away actually, he was so full of life and i still remember everything about him , Ted Demme is another one it make sno fucking sense and listening to me an dKurt on You Tube last night we sound so young and dumb and cool, iwish i had been willing to do mor ewith him but udidnt wan na get tarred w the yoko brush al,though he always though t Yoko was cool ( an Olympia thing) and liked her wierd music, its a real loss, we had friend named Jessica Hopper and she lived with us when she was a kid and she has a tape somewher eof us fighting in the bathtub an dthen playinga 10 minute version of in the pines, iwish i could hear it. Amyway i think illtk ethat offa you tube and put it on the skin after carcrash jusr a dammed demo needs a riff a bassline real; drums the real lyrics the brideg to start with c not f, ventur eto my site an dtell me what you thinbk i wish i had time ot get back to you and to read allyour comments, but in my site teh way its set up i do n d i can answer you and also hear your opinions more clearl;y thansk fo rth epostive nic ethings youve allsaid now get your asses off my space for a sec an d go to my site!

b ytht o mean in films AN DMAGs im well lit and look very pretty because im well ot an dbeing handled by the great ohotgraphers, and when i do my covers startibg in Nov itll be lovely looking but i need to let go of this addiction to perfecxtion woch i did a long time ago om no tsuppose dto look beatifully perfect i neever said i was a virgin or played possum or cted liek sweetheart i came in daclaring my outside of society status and weirdluy inm somehow the most insidery outsider possible. because i am and alway swull be even if becoem Oprah marginlied i need passuonate peple whp believ in teh happy ending story to be in my am , lind always tells me she came back througha dak wet cave and noone sck bne and hpower inside bnes inher now she can do fuck w=sewnst ive heard the orginbal “beaitufl: its a ful on bowie arrnamnebnt almos rock song but afterwhatehc been tgh i dont blame her one wht i just kno whe r rock n roll soln;acopf pretentiousness,. nd demand for honestnd demand fo rmmewk snemen 6 am i obviously filed oday bit tomorrow im hitting the guitar an dhe gohon=zoive posted pklenty fo ryll, i hoep teh my space people cone ove rco etheyre lovely and ic an answ rthier questions so much easier this way! in films as imve sai dim lit well nd in testino shots in lit well et aal, but im not trying in ny wy to be rving beauty, i jsut went in astarbeg oddyseey wich i shall undo until i look normal again, but he thin thing is fine as longa s my ss doesnt go flt nd it doesnt eeffct my face, nd also i actually really love hving long crne rms with thios elittle biceps woch will only get bigger the more i pkly rememebr as i didnt oplzya fuckong chord, they willlway suse ugly pap shots, i gott rememebr no matter how mabny there are 200 or so in that case theyre just waitingf or tht open mouth shot. t a uk ppar called the cily sport so lowend most of us dont even know it they hve two dwarves on permanaet staff top getteh crotch shots, my bopdy gird in London doeds Jordan i figuire d tht wa sthe guy for me and he puts vaseline in thier lenses an dthey boo at him. 6.9 hes god! i dont put asss in seats cos im fucking MODEL, i put asses in seats co si leave my guts in the stage, i heard as i blogged about the rilling stone review, sloppy complining about fart bnoises 1- its not a real review if it was itd be a big huge opage it was an online bot by somneone who took the sloppier parts and had an agenda and ttacking my voice in that sound system is just cheap cos my coivoice was in fine fettle. gee if i was neil yoiud say it ws great! zometiemn si loathe my own peers.

couldnt agree with you more- last band blew - nop offense to anyone in it its a unit a band a group pf oeple k e whop live together and grow tp love each other nd allthat shit a family a gang and you have to be sober and pick well and unimpaoired your totally rght id di it for a gender reason and it sucked, this is by no means a backing band, its just NOT, not with a drummer this fucking brilliant. and i wouldnt couldnt remove anyone as weve all kind of come into thos topgether so it would hurt the social structure if anyone went-= some are ready for teh studio some are not but we all agree Linda me and etc that it will a give them equity in all ways to be on the record and B that they render things in youthful and dangerous manner, wich strips anything of being too thought oput or pretentious in any way also the learning expirience of Linda In The Studio os fucking beyond proceless, its like going to the Yale of recording school, Rick Rubin could probably give em a good education too, but those two are their own peers- an dthey love each other too, ( RICK And Linda) respect! so i think that its just amazing schooling and something to aspire for as i really y wanna stick with these kids, for as long as possible i really really lreaaly care for them and love playing with them and spoliling them and having fun with them and rocking with them, theyre adorable but they are dangerous and scary and fucking great, as band to the man it s so much better than Hole ever was, thats purely objective by the way. I knwo we have to get toghter and i know we have to come up with two more songs and please dont woprry re relesase date otllcomne out when it does, b ut it also willcome out alot later than i thought t first biut i had to do these shows tos ee what needed work and what was working and what was needed, ijust had to, as i blogged i gopt th ebest poosible outcome media wise in every context but im holdong off on pr, if they waNt you nopw theyllcertaibn,ly want you later.
theres one nasty rs online thing i heard about= but fuck it= thanks so much fo rthe sponsorship maybe that person felt they had to do thatfrom what i uderstand everything that he person said was totally true, idid complain about fart noises and was working things out as were we all( exceprt stu who is perfect) and becoming a rea band. and iutltake a while to become the band i know is in there but its just the cosiest ive ever been ina ny band ever. icanttellyou enough how much i love these guys. as a unit. theres tragic flaws, and mini and macro ddictions and things but isnt that part of the baggage of othe rhumn beongs anyway? Nurturing and l;eading is a hard task especially with my lack of skillset in some articulation eg i do not speak drum, but Linda does and shes a fucking generous amazing genius of a human to come in and take the time to guid ethem esp when ev ery pop and punk idol is basically kicking in her door 24/7 she doesnt have to do any o fthis= her considerationa nd generosity knows no bounds.
i love life and the people in mone are excellent. MAN oh MAN dod i get lucky!

like all the rugs and reasons to be beautiful and i like mono , bit i hve a twisted relationship with that record, i like bopy on the radio, i love norther star 20 yrs in dakota drown soda,as i psoeted as just remnde dof asking for it adn went whoa i shouve played that one this time cos i reallu stillllike that song i dont ohone that one in. not northernsstar, sunset strip needs to be thrpwn out and me nd linda need to redo it completely, i klik ethe lost refrains from sinset mrquis,ifyou reclla my body the hand grenade woch you wre only fdo ifyour a long term person then you may recallthe vinyl inner sleeve, i have a glasslsippers too big bloody foot vision but blood and cracked glass and walmart>? i may do two covers and the one may be marie antionetter neck down, maybe anne boleyn neck down om the other side, but even that mught be too smart for the flyover states even though someones gonna rag that its once used it really ws not a vinyl sleeve holder>? witha run of 2000>?? come on. gimme a break. some mods dont have admin wich is why you yeastie trolls are still here, its only 7-8% but cmpared to my my space really reteaded so im mking sure my mids have admin biloties cos we have s many refugees from y old site, thats closing in the next month. that chick who runs it willalso have ot give Kurt and Frances s domains back wich she snuck off and got in 97 and has been selling t shirts from american appartel ones she had made and stole all the money from of kurt an dnirvana since 97- how an yone can defend that just means they are insane. ignore th eyeastie clymidia ridden tracksuit wearing trolls and the aryan nation nazi heil hiteler teen boys, theres only a few here, but i sniff em and four of my mods snif em and wed like some more mods, get in touch w3ith juliet or tyler. Tyler had a good nosde for yeasties. anyway i dont feel ltoo much like sharing until we dump the yeast creatures.

mickop hjad been playing professionally since he was 4 in his family celtic band, hius ma my spaced me yesterday dam,m my space is os much mor epelasant than here! but we will zap th eyeatsie trolls tomorrow- yopu know someone describe one ofthe teesny vocal minirty in th esoon tobe gne site- her data and stats- shes an african ameriucan 50 yr old postal worker from Baltimore- isnt that so odd? tghi sis one o fthe obsessed trolls with 20 names etc, so out of my “d_______c” ( the dirty word) postal worker? come one come all. but african american? except fopfr eve and my buddhist friend and Chris (rock) id ont have too many african american friends that give ashit aabouyt my music or personal life- its just not = hmmm its a very deep culutral dfivide musically to some extent= and then teh postal worker part? in Balt? 50? its so strange to me, yeastie!
and they go the same way- no gay guys- or even girls- just hetero strangely overweight tracksuite dwoman older than me or roght at my age and spotty boys int o aryan interests, like Skrewdriver listeners, ya know? the kind “the holocaust never happened
” people? anyway ive been given a homework assignment re a song subject matter by my boss, so im gonna hitthat she damm wekll stumbled on agood one too, its zbout someone so pompous so full of themnselves an dso mean who makes me feel so small yet somehow overwhekmns me an dmakes me believe tehya re right and the y teach me abotu bad attitides bad karma and spoirutal malaise everyday, lso theres two states in Buddhism Delusion and Humanity, rockstar or not, i prefer humanity, just being humble nd putting others before oneself- its a good thing- maybe way out in the freeeezzzzing cole internet its not as pleasant wich is why my space people all 175 million of them stick it out- n dstay there- to be honest i prefer my my space people- cos theres about 9 trolls on this site, an dthey seem to have gotten by an d double post and etc= so my mods need admin priveliges not just sparkart, who cannot tellthe trolls and well buisl th is site nice and sweeta nd positive and good= and ifyour gobna post itd be cool if you posted with your picture and your my space so peopel czn know wgho you are and i can knwo who youa re, if thats not available yet it will be soon- it s what i begged the last site i had my empliyee to do pre fucking friendster even and she just wouldnt an dif fire her and she wouldnt leave - yawn longs story aabout to fibnally be gone- ive sai dthis before i feel like that sthe last vestige of old regime bnegativity in my life=- brrr put here in the internet, anyway, how obsessed is anyone with thi s show Katie and Peter? i looove Jordan. shes like the fab dirty essex chipshop girl, i love her nasty accent,its so dirty! i wish i was a beter mimic id love to do as nasty essex accent on command. anyways… i have a song to wrte, carcrash os just a LITTLE DEMO nd the lyrics at eth eroxy ate th eright lyrics, th efirst verse is the same, but the rest of them are ll different the last verse hmmm…waht is it again>?

well the brindge is changed to a c isntea do a f start f is a dirty nsry chord c is a sweet chord, f is primarily in my perception to be used to stzrt songs like teh song thats on this skin right now starts in f and hs a lot of f in it, its a bluesy wild chord so a c is sweeter and a little more mournful; it can also be jangly and too happy unless you oput your fingers a certain way and make ac sus 4, then it gets gravity imho. ( micko ac tually finally anaylised the “Courtney Chords” and told me what they actually were like my F is actually an F sus 9, unles im playing a barre F in wich case i play octave Fs anywaay cos i never could get those basic sex pistols chords down and Billy loves octaves abnd taught me a bunch of chords in Ocatves, you can end u[ like Sonic Youth if you dont watch it but combined with normal chords it can sound pretty good and straighforward just with Neil Young edge, ( one hopes) erm what s the proper lyrics…
well th ebridge is something like…..
forgets first line
and they market you til your dumb
and your relevance has gone away spli tin two oh
how the fuck di dyou let them win

an dthe end is
willyou be there when the lights
when the lighst get shot right oput
willyopu be tehre when the roof
when the roof comes crashing down
willyou be ther ein ice an dthe dethly cld and freeze
i loved myself once , but it brought me to my knees
oh i caqme her thru the lightining
thru th cvoid asnd thru the storm
and i know i swear to god i never shpu;d hve been born.
i never shoudl jave been born.

umm an dwhats the third verse ?
and at all tomorrows parties
iwll be there not at one
and when teh cancer tsarts to rot me
i swilljust pas syou trhe gun
and i willsit in the corner
and i willnot pretend to be nice
i am nobodies fucking daughter
i am just a trigger device

im not so sure abvout the line tirgger decvice but its fun to sing.
thats some of the proper lyrics not all.
pbvioysly ghost on the highway
nd all tomorries parties are referencd as in when do I NOT do that?
but its a natural lyric, its not thought through in good way, for me, and with lyrics i rellyd i serve myself. musica.ly is erve myself and others but when you have a good skill set about something you can tend to get into your own muse about it, perhaps tp the exculsion of others but hey at least noones pandering! cos i hate that wors ethn anything, if i have to pander thats when i wont feel like this job anywmore.
not much on the pandering tip i think thats why i got into rock n roll in the first place, satisfy yourself first just like sex. then give the greatset blowjob of all time, or in the reverse order//////

yeah my mgr said that song went down really well - maybe my compass was off cos i didnt feel it- it was played with confidence and mojo and done tightly considering we decided to do it the day before wich is how i lost my voice id ont care how good your pa or who you are or how excllent the drummer if you dont bring it vocally your never gonna get your band to the level wher tehyre excited about it and put the real elbows in , so i thrasehed my voic e wich was just nic e n ripe the night before doing carcrash about 20 times, mgr said that the reason ididnt feel it was cos people were jawdropping-= hmmmmm….and hes got no reason to blow smoke, i just wasnt feeling it= maybe like the trolly p[osts about the new songs- theres no pr. covers.marketing. context .videos radio play nor mixes so its very hard even for non trolls to get it, unless you were in the room THEN illlisten to what you have to say,nd take it seriously, as constructive criticism, its just a lyric i threw in that night but i think ill keep itl, it sorta drives the whole dammed point home IF i keep the song= now remember the demo your gonna hear is a not even proper dammed demo, its just a melody and a chorus, and a bridge, but peop;e seem to like it.
jawdrop? hm mmmmm wouldnrt i have feltt hat? thn again im not always as confident of my own songs or anyones other than me and Linda or me and Billy and me and anyone else, so i could have had a little taste of the energy of it working or not- my compass must ve been off- already fucking with my paradigm……maYBE hes right he loves it=- my friend at KROQ love sit and the ceo of a major loves it, so i dunno…..do i love it thats what i cant decide- wish i had a good recording from teh roxytm y space had 5 cmeras so theyll cut a good one, and illsee it hope itllsound good i knew id get some whacky celebs if i picke dteh roxy instead of downtown and too much indurstry and i tried moving all th etables an dchairs out wich Kurt did in 91 unfortunately there have been banquettes drilled in sinc ethen about 36 seats in all but i really did not want a vip section and i asked my actress and actor friends to not attend. but the roxy is on the strip so its central( i walked most o fthe way there) and celeb friendly and somehow they created a VIP section. Paris is a very nice girl but they needed audince shots so the houselights were on and i actually did ask her not to attend too, nothing personal,
but ui could see her table talking over the quiet encore and i almist stopped playing but just went onward cos you know what? why anyone who doesnt understand rock would come tro my show escapes me, an dthats a [osse of 10 wich is 10 tix that couldve gone to fans, people from this site, so yeah an i slightly irritated? yeah. But not enough to do a piublic bollocking , it says in the blog si flipped her off an dhse left crying wich is total nonsense, but shes just not a rock person, her sister actually has Hole records and knows what id do for a living, but i dunno- i mean whatever damen dash and scxott stourchwhat does that even MEAN? im sure it means alot to plenty of people but i t means nothing to me. thats not a jab , talking is dammed rude, and i couldnt have been more clear in my text that every ticket counted and there was no VIP section - but somehow LA likes to migrate into a VIP section they just natriually go fo rit- an dthe bnqutees are in there now and at the 91 Nirvana show it was so cool cos the weases and the celebs had to hang with the kids too, an dthos edaMMED DRILLED in seats created some imginry barrier an di was so speicific with the roxy management that there were NO vips and that i would let our guest list sit at the banquitets but that anyone could go nywhere-= im actyally getting pissy as i write this! grrr. stilldidnt chant been doing it more at night. thats bad, theres a district meeting tomorrow maybe illget my practice a bit tighter. its gotten loose over the last week, value creation! humanity! human revolution! 9th consciousness! mutual possesion of ten worlds! Middle Way! breathe~
meow.

hey everypone its me! dont know where to Blog here yet, im a tech tard ummm didngt flip paris off and umm bout stfani( googled myself) i just noted a hell of a lot of girls wanting tix who are also into Stefani. whatever is between us i would always keep personal and whatever that was was forever ago anyway. I LOVE this band, and hope to stay witht them forever- they are so fun a nd cool and frickin young man! nd fantastic and fun and were good and i know it, so im thinkin about posting another demo on ths skin of the site, its this demo of a demo ( sorta like the demo of a demo sans percussion electric guitar too many verses and a tad too much heavy breathing lol) anyway i dont have an ever changing entoruage btw whoever snarky wrote that= i keep my friends forever, in the main, ive had a blessing in working with Linda twice cos we didnt get it right for many reasons the first time - id say 90% my fault if not more- but this record is done when its done- so someone i turst said “CARCRASH” wwich is presently just bones and nto remdered correctly ( although the roxy lyrics reteh iens i like) worked rather or in his words very well live- ididnt feel thata nd i dont know if i agree so im thinking of umm…posting it tomorrow just the demo sans the good lyrics, so igmnore them try to follow me here and be sophisiticated ish- i mean im a staight shooter songwriter always willbe i dont have alot of funny chords and shit, waity omg! watching talk soup! i know i know! who the FUCK gave the singinjg bee permission to use smells like teen spirit! im pissed as hell!okzy ive just texted my lawyer an dpartner, omg! gross! never ever would i give permission for usage on ashow like that , omg! LAWSUIT! im just sitting here blogging and this came on the tube and OMG! ………
okay sorry i was just really rudely interupted by someone breaking every copyright law ever placed and it was really disgusting, what was i saying? oh yeah. its no teen spirit, but anyway its a cute little song and i wonder what you guys think- dont worry bout the lyrics their good now, they pretty much blow on the demo im thinking of putting up, but i dun n o ive had more than one person comment that this is a great song and i shoudl develp ot more and let it be a contender- it def needs better bassline and a riff to intor and these are fake drums, but id stilllike your opinion, on the melody and the basics of it… like a prez of a major really likjed it and mny friend whose a major force nd dj ta n alt rock station really liked it, hmmm, so i played it atthe roxy with the kids and i dunno, i heard it had a ton of gravity but i did not feel that fropm the crowd. but then o was told the crowd was liking it and noone had heared oit yet- hmmm. ididnt notic eit carry me away- but so many tuimes people fuck up- i hated c skin and didnt wanna put it on my record and i hated dol parts years ago too, so what the hell do i know>?> so if you guys coudl offer an honest ( constructive) opinion id be happy to see what yall think.
lotsa love
Corky

no! no! and nooooooooooooo!of all tghe labels that is the WORST.
dontchya worry about promo opr my deal, its all good , could nopt be better, i said i was gonna change the paradigm to some degree and now im being forced to examine exactly what that means abnd put my money wehre my mouth is cos this is NOT a good time for the music business its an amzing mtime for teh fashion industry by the way, its never done better, people would prefer to soend thie rnoney on luxury goods than on music by a long shot, wich is good news to someone, esp if you wanna start a fashion line..hmmm…
anyway blech vomite tragique virgin hellacious nonsense, it was atotal disaster. me n them at that time with that regime the greatest fuck off of my life- the prez wasx a very nic eman named matt serletiuc who is best known for his matchbox 20 umm work. now i do like matt serletic but musically the two of us shoudl never ever have been in the same room , its why i see diane warren at parites and im morbibly curious to se what wouls happen, but i never actually call her= shes a great craftswoman but its not me, and im in no position to be dicking around the mainstream…… its bnot my speciality and id nt like it there so much, you know? trolls like my mother come out of the cupboaRD TO FIND me ,,,,, im ready for a ride again but on my own terms and i turst my team this time around dont chya worry about these little details like my PR and my legal stuff and my fiscal stuff , im all on cool , and i got the a game now- why ididnt hv ethese people before prob becaus ei wasnt resonating to a positiv e frequcney but im so together with my wondrous team tehse days, could not be happier when the times the time its all as i said on cool, its almost redunant and wierd to be discussing ths eprivate matters all that matters is the music right now, the rest of it is not my business, obviously i know things about my stats an d numnbers but they just pass right thru me, its irrelevant , am i serving my muse>? am i creatong value? am i letting go and i n a positive space? ios this band the right one? YES. its alla good thing- geez trust me, the diff between sober an dnot is agreat ,massive black hole divide, people do not want teg nonsense of drugs and a bad attitude who are worth a shit. andf how in gods name is anyone in a good space when their judgement is in a total shambles and their perception is not keen and they are not vibratibng positively. grudges aND rage and follishness are the three poinsons and in order to clean up ones perceptions if one is an addict all the copnsciousness, are all fouled up….okay this is klegnthy and boring.
its all good now it was all bad then.
court

ROXY TONIGHT ALL AGES TIX AVAILABLE

SHOW IS ALL AGES WE GO ON AT 1030 WELL LEAVE 100 TIX FOR THE LINE AND 100 AT THE DOOR SO IF YR ONLINE YOU CAN STILL GET IN. LISTEN TO KROQ ILL BE ON BETWEEN 530 AND 6 BUT THE BEST WAY TO GET IN IS TO GET YOUR ASS TO COURTNEYLOVE.COM RT NOW WE CAN GIVE OUT TIX TIL 9

nyc wtf?Warning, horrific spelling and grammar per usual!

Current mood: ecstatic

TO EDI TTHIS BLOG WOULD TAKE A CENTURY SO TAKE WHAT YIOUC AN OPUTTA IT, I JUST READ IT FOR EDITING AND ITS A DISASTER POSSIBLY THE WORST SPELT BLOG EVER BUT YOUY GET THE GIST AND MY WRITING IS CRYPTIC ANYWAY THATS HOW I LO0OKL AT IT-= I AM NOT A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL TYPIST.


WE ARE PLAYIN THE ROXY THE 17TH GOT TO WWW.COURTNEYLOVE.COM REGISTER AND OR JUST REQUEST THE TIX WE PICK 100 RANDOMELY FOR LA AND 100 SPECIFICALLY BASED ON YER RECORDS AND STYLE.

BRIEF IS GOOD, AND HONEST IS VALUED.



HOPE TO SEE YOU AT THE ROXY AND ONE MORE THING IM AWARE AS I EXPLAIN BELOW THAT NYC WAS AN HOUR LATE , NO TMY ISSUE, I COULDVE USED AN EXTRA 15 MINUUTES BUT WOPUL;DVGE LIVED WOUT IT I THINK TH EPUBCHING BLODDY PEOPLE FRENZY ENERGY OF NYC MADE IT AN HOUR.

IN LA WHEN THE TIME IS REVELAED AND IM GUESSING HERE 10 MAX ITS 10. ILLBLOG FOR SURE THE TIME, IVE LEARNE DTHATHE HARD WAY AND IF YOU ARENT PREPED TO WATCH THE WHOLE SET NO MATTER WHO YOUARE AND ARENT THERE ON TIME IVE GOTA SAY TOUGH, THESE SHOWS ARE ABOUT US TOO AND WE NEED YOU THERE ON TIME FOR THE WHOLE CONTEXT.
I COULD BE INCORRECT ABOUT THE TIME PEREZ OR STRYKER AT KROQ WILL LET YOU KNOW ON THE DAY, OR I WILLRETURN TO BLOG THE EXACT TIME THEN THE DOORS LOCK.
NORMALLY I WOULDNT CARE SO MUCH, BUT THESE SONGS I NEED TO KNOW WHAT WORKS AND WHERE AND THATS WHY I PLAY WITH THE SET LIST. IM SEQUENCING AS I GO. IM CUTTING AND EDITING AND BASING THINGS ON YOUR ENERGY WICH YOU HONOUR US ALL WITH. SO ROCK ON AND DONT BE LATE AND LA IS ALL ABOUT NOT BEING LATE IN THE SLIGHTEST!
CLC
READ ON AT YOUR OWN RISK.
PS. I DO NOT DRINK. I DO AND HAVE NOT TRASHED A HOTEL ROOM IN MANY MANY YEARS AND MY SEX AND PERSONAL LIFE IS BELOW THE RADAR DISCRETE, I WOULD NOT BE PHOTOGRAPHED WITH THE PERSON I AM INTIMATE WITH, SO STOP TRYING TO GUESS AND JUST ROCK WITH US.
THANKS SINCERELY FOR YOUR ENERGY LOVEL;Y FLOWERS AND KIND GIFTS. AND PLS KNOW THAT I DO NOT ENJOY PLAYING THE OLDER SONGS TOO MUCH, IM IN THEM WHEN IM PLAYING THEM , BUT SOME OF THEM UPSET ME TERRIBLY, I DO THAT FOR YOU AND IF IT COMES DOWN TO THAT I SHALL RETIRE BECAUSE I SAID THOSZE THINGS TERRIBLY WELL AND PLAYED THEM FOR YEARS, ITS NICE THAT YOU LOVE THEM, TERRIFICALLY SO, BUT THIS IS ABOUT MOVING ON WITH MY HEART AND LIFE CONDITION, THE SONGS ARE STILLTERRIFICALLY DARK AND NASTY AS THAT SEEMS TO BE MY FORTE, WHAT COMES OUT, YOU JUST HAVE NOT HEARD THEM ENOUGH YET THAT THEY EXCCITE YOU WHEN THEY COME ON, ALL ARE ACTUALLY TECHNICALLY BETTER THAN THE OLD ONES.
REMEMBER THIS RECORD TOOK A YEAR TO MAKE FOR ME THE GUYS AND LP, AND CORGAN TOO, HIS GUITAR PARTS, (33 DAYS FOR HIM) AND WHATS ON THIS RECORD IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THERE.
ALTHOUGH I IMNAGINE YOU DONT MUCH CARE "HOW" THIS RECORD WAS MADE, ITS AMTTER OF WHAT IS VISCERAL FOR YOU, AND ID LIKE FEEDBACK ABOUT WHAT SONGS AND LYRICS AND BITS AND PARTS YOU LIKE, IT WAS MADE IN A VERY OLD FASHIONED VERY VERY TOUGHWAY, IN A WAY NOONES MADE A RECORD ( EXCEPTING THE WHITE STRIPES WHO DONT AIM QUITE SO HIGH CRAFT WISE AND ARE FAR MORE PROLIFIC THAN I AM) WHO WAS A VERY WELL KNOWN PERSON IN ALMOST DECADES, NO PRO TOOLS, ALL TUBES, NO COMPUTERS, VERY VERY FEW OVERDUBS, THAT TAKE OF PCH TOOK 54 TAKES AND THAT VOCAL IS MY VOICE 54 TAKES AND THOSE THREE GUITARS ARE THE 54TH TAKE AND THAT PIANO PART IS THE 54TH TAKE AND ITS "LIVE" IN A VERY OLD SCHOOL WAY, WICH MEANS NOTHING UNLESS IT PERSONALLY MOVES YOU SINCE YOU ARE THE IMPORTANT PERSON IN THIS EQUASION.
IT WAS NEITHER WHIM NOR CONTRIVANCE THAT CREATED THE FORM USED TO MAKE THIS RECORD, IT WAS LITERALLY THE ONLY WAY I COULD BE IN THE MOMENT AND JUST LIKE I DID THREE MONTHS OF VOX ON C SKIN AND WHAT WAS USED WAS 98% THE VERY FIRST GUIDE VOCAL TAKES SINCE THAT WAS WHEBN I CARED THE MOST ABOUT THE SONG ITS THE WAY THAT WORKS FOR ME. THE MICROPPHONE KNOWS IM ACTING , IMA "ONE TAKE WONDER" THAT WAY, ON THE TAKE WHERE EVERYONE HAS THE VIBE IS IN THE POCKET AND THE MOJO IS CRAWLING THATS THE ONE MY SOUL GUTS OUT ON.....PER THE REST OF THIS BLOG ITS BARELY ENGLISH.
PT 1 OVER
COURTS



bootlegs are wierd the only time i gop online is to blog on this my space woich juliet you are free to bring oiver to m,y site as its mine and i own it, anyway i dont know i told all myf riends an dyou too to be there 1030 sharp because weve been allabout goping on time and i was told 1030- then there was one of the mopst remarkable technicaL PVERSIOGHTs in my entire career- the oplder dudes whove done hgouse sound from, SIR a jillion times forgot to TURN ON THE SUBWOOFERS. so i beeged for 15 mopre minutes to figure out why the hell a real band wich would be moine sounded like a trebley backing band to an american idol songbird, tweeters are the hiogh end and woofers tge low but sib woofers are the bass and the toms and kick growl and i rtold stu the truth= chicks just do not end up with drummers of his strentgth and aptitude- whatver that fguy nedsx to keep him happy - wich sinc ehe has a farm on tghe Isle of Wight and just nothing fazes him - isnt to hard- hi sintetion is just to play cdrums and imA bit of a dudem, im thinking and i think im right abou tthis we need obne more Samantha level ro0kc ballsy song - even though has that fine razors edge al;mist cheeze but not bridge wich quuickly turns ballsy= mne and pete wrote one "car crash" wich wqe doid at studio b when LP was prepping for her biog and hey i aint getting in any trouble again so no fucking names- boy punk band stuff wich is v impiortamnt to gher= thres no stopping it those szpotty hetero boyz are gonna gop insane whern they find oput shes doing thos band- what they dont kno wi sthat LP can rock out with her cock out like nboones busioness and it took her a good haerd lkong gtime to crAwl back from one hit wonder land- she was fucking SMART not to give me "Beuatioful" and fo erthe first and klast time ever i BEGGED for another persons song- it wAs a rock song with an almost Bowie esque arrngement-= b ut she wasnta bout to have me taKE IT to the top fo kroq sxhe gave it XtinA and saved what was consioderewd a dead duck from her dirrrrty self. she saew through the nonsense and saw that xtina ha DTRHE FUCKing pipes to help[ LP acvquir eteh power and to mak ethat songa manistreamclassic remember my favourite quote about msuic comes from t bone Burnett " The American Music Business has perfected the art of sellijng music to people who hate it" add to that that the average americvan buys 2.6 records a year at chriustmas mind youm, for 280 million people whose favourioter amnd best sellimnfg maghazibne is by galaies and oceans TV Guide followed by a long drop and Readers Digest and yes this is factual yall kno wi love my data- "Modern Maturity" and the loooong drop and then Redbook/Mccalls/Good GHousekeeping= the Rolling Stones an dvogues And Vanity fairs are waaaaaaaaay teh fuck at the bottom- sales wise and rich folks or wanna be rich folks tend to buy em. "tastemakers" ius what theyre called. lemmings? naw well anyway we were slobs ijn NY it ddint help that yal;l bootleg so fucking much and i cant sing if theres 20 emo kids screming every ,yric to every bnew song so if you were there and you saw me take a few steps back it was cos i wanted my space and noooooooo you were not whoever you are taking mty doodads off my gifted new Marc flamenco en pointe patent shoes- yall leave my doodads alone, NY is swierd to this day people tell mne that the Bowery nightmare was one of thie rfavourite shows ever= i could nopt sing at all, i was probably going to be dead within 24 hours- i had been arrested for NOTHING the night previous ( there were no mike stands at the club i was accused of hurling a nioght stanbd at so the charge wzA sphsycially and totally impossible it was cos those cops had seen me do my coochie dance for letterman and just wanted to nail my ass- a true witch trial frnezy if i ever saw or have been in one or 9- but hey i took it on the chin and noone4 as is aid in the other days blog willkarmically or within thge justice system get away with what they did to me) a personc Ame backstage who iw ant3d to punch- hard= lots an dlots of tim es- coming up to me telling me he was SGI now-= well bitch then chant to pay me back allyou stole and chant to tell the FBI all you diod to facilitate a conspiracy and then get back to me-= sgi great opj n ya- oit doesnt expiate what you diod to me- or the fact that my friends couldnt get bvackstage but somewhere ibn my karma this bitch got backstage and just sat there looking like id be nice to him because hes a buddhist now-= i think 12 step mifght be a good first pl;ace for him before he starts claiminfg hes a votary of the Lotus DSutra cos ive not recieve3d any amends letter- but i let it go= and di my job and refused to take one solo picture cfor Rolling stione or anyone else- this story is about 6 people livinfg under one roof working 12 hours a day this opart if the story and we werre shambolic as fuck onstage patro played one song ina d tuning- wich is maybe one of the worst things you can do, Nirvana used to thier whol;e set in d tuning - d tubning is greta fo r low sabbathy songs- or its a pussy way of saving your voice= and yes i made some possibly gtoo szelf denigratinmg comments about my age- but if im o0ld flea amnd antony aRE 5 years older and kravits is 2 and Grohls about to be my age and billys my age-= so whatever- i just happen tp be female- i do need to get back to exercising = i havce movie star friends who are known fvor rthier small bones and perfectly sxize szdsrro bodies and perfectlyt symetrical features who work out tewoice a day for 3 hours all in, keep it unsaggy babe- biut ivce been sworking so hard iots really my wrists and up[per arms ovce been working on spendin g 6 years in my bedroom my muscles my guitar muscles are a little wopnkly anbd for anyone at the ballroom you may ave bnotiuced that i simply stopped as my amp stopped wporking entirely and have to thank the lovely randy who atthe lats minute when i fired a guy for reraSONS BEST LEFT fvopr me to know paul ill and rtandy and a crazy bitch whoxs ehystericvAlly funny a taoal grump and a really hard worker who ghot punched in the face abn dhogtied by cops the opther nbight diue to thier being whaT 5000 PEOPLE ina libne for a 500 person ballroom, thmes good stAts we were doing our hair( thew girls) way up in that ugly crazy building and couyld seeyou all for blocks, it was wild-= i told my peeps top go get bvoys wiuth skateboards and giurls whow ere into stefani, no offense to truyew fans i just felt like a challenge- if someone sreally into stefani to me that says they dontw anta nty trouble in thoe rlives, want very mucbh to be p[opular abnd accepted, wnatto be trendy but niot dangerous, and the idea of forcin gthat waznna be popular girl to face the fear cdoes somethin for me./plus im startinga clotyhing line this year too, just higher end and the lowerr end wont be about a font. i wouldbnt do that iu fond that crass somehow= a sportsac ten times the prio ce because it has ther same cuddle bear sweeetoe pie sign off that Rossdale used to sign hios letters to me with in a Times Courier font ? maybve its me, i know perfeume has a 800 -1200% profit markup so if one "brands" oneself well enough one can cash it in big an d hard by selling a perfume wethe rone gioves a shot about the smell opr not- kudos to madge for forgoinmg that , because nop way hads she not been asked. L.A.M.B. heh, well look its not fo rme to judge- im far mior eonteretsed in amazin g lingerie enyways and if i design a bag itll be fabulous and the bag ( like my giles for Mulbery one he gacve me iots like if youve seen this bag itsx the best damnmned bag! its got an s and m whip onm the side and func tions as an anti rapist kit as well as justt he coolest bag i was almost total;ly bourjie an dbought meself the highe nd Birkin in Paris and said fuck it- Lagerfeld let me have as many bags as i wanted and i couldnt heklp thunking about the artist TOM Sachs( sioc) and his lifesizeChanel Guiiltoine, his Prada toilet seat, his Hermes Glock, his real functining Tiffany hand grenade) i dunno when o9t comes to Luxury Items i am soooooo torn but back tyo MY day job wich iof i do design clothes with Clare La Faye they wiull be both of us designing and beuatuflly rendered- im wearing one of out cdresses in Grazia, we get 20s and 30s dresses and spme treens and remake them- those dresses prese4ntly cost about 3-5000 to make so if we sell high its simply to cover costs and to make enough to pay for the next batch- i mneed to send clair to a textile show in Iowa so werte nbot getting ripped and gicv eher alot of cash but sio far shes done alot of the designing- i gave hert an iozssie clarke book and we took things we liked oiut of ossies drawings an dhe had celia birtwell doing his fabrics wich is why i went nbuts ine very celia birteweel piece in top shop, but the thin me( all the girls in thi sband are size 0 wich is terriufying) that marcx dress Patrizia was wearing was amazing for a 5'1 sex machine midget who can play bass as good if bnot better than Kristen( rip) never having hirecd music school people i have three in this band all swent for no more than a yewar and two were expelled-= like i said word from the ise on this, music shcool for rock is useless but i took one semenster of music theory in college and i ue it daily- and 2 weeks of recording engineering throy and use it daily-= any lomnge rthan a year and it destroys any natural taklent a person has - and thats NOT an opinion its juts a fact, drop out!
save yourself!
was i wiritinga bout ny? rock show? oh yeah so no sub woofers a remarkable an dinsane oversxight then the d tuning thiung happened and ive cut down a verse in stabnd up npthetrfucker wich i oparticularly liked and cut doff az verser on how dirty girls get clean 2 and we like the chorus in dirty girls 1 it sounds like little japanese girls singinga pop song but live trhe whol ething doesnt fly so well= npo waty was that show slick- it was oretty shambolic, i wasnt as smilinmg and gracious as i have been despitre warm and sweet vibes from everyone waaaay ott in the front and a more nethisiatic reception from the ny media elite thAN iw ould haveever expected- excpet somehow new york magazine got a stringer in , theyve done NOTHING tha leaST 16 YRS but fucking nasty personal attacks on me- even one sign of a puls eort attention top thew work ZAnd iowupldnt mind a few stitch ups them abnd that dagnasty who gives a toss free seattle paper the name long sinc eslipped my mind, really just venal. i have no idea what waxs written since my publicists are who rthety are reviews have been banned this is no t open season these are humble little shows theyre mpre for us than ( sorry) fopr yall, i justt hionk we need another smantha abnd thier happens to be one "Car Crash" wich maybe wellrehearse gtopmorrow and illwerite a new bridge lyric for sicn ethe other lyric is used up, bu tit has not been LP'ed so its good but it aint yet great- zshe will perform her miracle surgery on it if sxhe likes it, wich she does iot was between SAmantha and Cracrash and we only had time for one due to hert shcedule and us fellingw eonly needed one- loserdust is a cute lirttle pubnk song and how dorty girls get clean 1 is a nic efuck you song but i wanta bomb thge place rock song, drag that last bitof real angst out of myszelf ( a siof it ever actually leaves) yopu know what i hate? i hate crying duringa song. it happens Alot, and i cant control my voice, i dont liuke singinmg iold KC era songs sometimes cos hes on there and it upsets me, its bnot 1992, and hes gone and i just dont l;ike being distrunbed by his ghost onstage, i know yall like thozs esongs so i do em, but youll like these plenty and then some when youve heard em on the radio enough and then i can reapporch the ltt and c skin ( i refuse to do a thing off as, maybe its to do with uits miserable falure sales wise or its horrifc cover art or the fact that a very very very bad person spent alot of my money bringing nad musicians in and out from that frnwech chateua youc ant ALMOST mazke exile, thats like almost winninga hourse race or al;most being pregnant you either do or you dont and botgh LP{ amnd me have a srious aversionb to rthat record i thin k yes there are 4 good songs on it and soem really good lyrics but iu shiudder a tthe thought, yikes of the bad ones, aND SINC EI SEE each record as a concep[tual installment where3 every song is opart of a story on every record despite downl;opading wherein records shopuld almost be complilatiuons these days due to the downloaDING thing i cant help it if when iw as little things like Ziggy Stradust and Tommy - sortra im not big on the who- and the wAZll made an impact ion me and the emton record-= oh yeah goodbye yellow brick road- they were l,ike stories big long bedtime stories- wioth very little filler buyt each song re3klated to the bnext and thats always goign to be my aeste3tic- i amy evolve and have evolved ads a amuysician and a lyriuciost but im not going to lose a few things i may lose alot of pounds but im bnot goping to lose my guitar for a who;e showp those few as shows wherein i did not play guitar and that was the woirst band i ever had nopt indiviuallyas people they were allovely but as a whole as a fiv headed beast and theres NO denying whoever you are however crass and cync ial yopu may be that THIS band is the best band ive ever been in, bar none, i haVENT HAD A drummer like this since mIKe Bordin from FNM who is technically considered one of the best druymmers on earth and sonc eone drunk night in rio p-l;aying with grohl = although Kirt was a drummer and wrote that famous drum intro to teen spirit- and we allhave the rehersal tape3s to prove that- theres n o denying the guys a good drummer- stu is fucking SICK, and he hasd great intuition and anyone tried to kidnap him from the rock world theyre going to get a bollo0cking from me , szo itw as shambolic and iw as slightlyt afraid of the crowd they wanted to watch me die= thaTS NEW YORK AND IM NOT GOINT O DIE. not in the riock n roll ways were all used to abnd at the bowery i was dying and if you have ahard time with eme not dying then go the fuck aZway and find a volunteer stupid enough to tak ethat suckers route- im here to create value even if the somgds are about sex and deatha and deathly sex and horrific sexuyal deatha nd ruigs and poverty and perverities of allsorts, thats just my heart my beating bleeding back heart qwich i would never if i tw as 40 400 or 40.000 not leave on the stage, but yall willnot have my death , yall cannota ndwillnot havethe satisfaction of the thing, to even compARE THE TWOP shows teh bowery and the other n ioght is perverse- i cdont stage dive, hey im not sayting i never would, i might and i dont show my tits and i dont cut myself and i rarely curse m or ethan wehn im onstage for some reason, i dxont read my press, i just know who after allthese years is after me and whop willgive me a shake, if i blow it thats my frault, but someone told me new york mnagazine had got in and i just said please do0nt speak abnother word, thetyre so orrelevant noone reads it and its so transparent, until the regim e there changes they wiull always have an agenda and it is sexist and ageist and lame, if one daY THEY GAVE me the greatest review in the world i still woildnt read it- b ut these shows are reviewless for a reason, if iw as ellinfg tix at Wembley then im fair game, b ut if your being let in your being let in off the website mostly= we play the 17th atthe roxy and kudos to Kurty fo rthos one it hasnt been done since-= im r emoving allthe tables aqnd chairs fropm the venue - im NOT tryin g to court the weasals id onty need them- after Stipe,.Bono, Eltona nd David , Sting and Trudie have all told me to put my miomney wher emy mouth is, i dont NEEED or WANT a majpr label sitiuation where id have to spend a fortiune in my own money aqnd like i wrote on salon.com all thos eyears ago i know better- what so i can impress my "parents:" that im on Warners? all oif the names i just dropped except EJ are owned like slaves for life-= iof iwas really truly impressed b vy the passion of someones desire tyo market this rec ord and put thioe rmoney wher ethie rmoputh is in this downloaDING age and environment where frances has to explain to me how in the hell Linkin Park who are almost my age can sells o many cds so fast to people who download, i ahcve a nioce six months befiore im putting anything out for consumption ancd to get tight as fuck and NY when i rtealise4 dthe room was so erratic people punching each other and in my space and etc i just reclaimed my power and focused ons tu and bethioa and liamn and micko and pato and mad eiot almost intoa reheardsal raw and scruffy and workimngt some shot pout it may have beena hugely impiortangt xshow for all i knopw im nbot oputting any value on these shows other than i hope yall lik eit, and real fans get in and new people who would never dream of liking me get in, and gropwn ups and little emp boys and girls and womyn my age in juicy tracksuits and the heterosexual under 23 males who like slayer get in its the whole mas sof humanity , ion just a few spots, and theres nothing sw4rong with lining up around the block sonc eove reserved about 100 tix for yall taht do do that for marie and others to chooze and pick based on whatever mood im ion or shes in wich sounds almost arbutraryt but its not thertes a method to my madness,. i like a mixed room cos id hate just to polay the oldies, i do it cos like i jkeep saying its just like sex dont you want o known as giving the most fantastical blowjobs ever? but dont you also wanna get yours? i now i do, last time i actually wen t there and ill keep thi sbrief not so long ago- at this point in my life i wasnt ads concewrned with my rreopuation for fanatstical blowjobs i was actaully more selfish than that and this wasd age appropiate best in show at his job on earth ( by the wAY Noel fieldiing is one of my BEST FRIENDS- we did not tash any room at any hotel on thios earth wich ive been hearing - i n fact thje after party was not in my lovely room iowch i respect that hortel far topo much tgo trash a room- and they kindlty had tons of ashtrays- someone who shgouldve known better sat on an antique table ina lovely room and they willb e getting the billas theyt are a very wealthy singer and uk comedian they kno wthat that is a theatre hotel and nopt to l;eran on avery antique table, aLso dont take under 20 irish people and stick them inb an "honesty" bar with every kind of fabulous whiskey every made,. bu they thats another tale, i did stuck fgor a massive bill in th e 20 minutes it t0ok me to change and throw opn some makeup in my lovely and very tidy room, and then i see this guzzling and simulatornsly hear this nasty crunch and iw as pissed- the english economy blows i do get that but show sxome respect these were well to do very famous people a biut older hey alot older than 18 year old guzzlers wich i covered and stopped the bvooze flow on, but grwon up multi miullionare former shaggers and famed majopr label songbirds know better than to siot on a 17TH cebntury lovely table- maybe it was the kid energy in the room, dammed love rat. poo. i am not major lable but lets say that oartyy was a major lable party id stillhave opt pay for everything so its cleaner me just oaying for the guzzlingt and the crunch than a major lable billimng me withg allthier balck math and shellac brekage deductions a year later and i like clean, ima big fan iof oit nopt ot day iom not quit ethe pig hey one need only look at my writing or my bacjkstage area to know i make a huuuuge mness to gain personal space, but in any case the crunch cost, and dearly, i went aroubnd making sure all was well and not tattling on the table leaNers, cos THAT wopuld have been surekly the sun and the mirrors tAle. id rathe rhav ethen making yp nosnesne now who is this rtacecar driver? nwever heard of the guy, Juliet my websmitress was asking me if i was having siome affair with someone iove never heard of and then theres the reality show guy- yikes reality rtaod is one i just dont go down and ye si am drinking ensure it has 250 cals in it and im not going to explain or cpomplain but i reAlly really really do not hasve an eating disorder- tyhosxe who saw the beginning of this at MWR recall i said this was an sthroplicigakl experiment - and knowing you cant fiot anything szent for free is a fucking nic efeeling, illsay fucking a nice, i dont kno who wmuch longer illkjeewp going but i wont go back to us 8 , dont lik ethe way i get treated at that totallty normal sxexy size, az 4 or a 6 is fine, my priblem is i NEVER think im fat! i ALWAYS think im fabulous, wich i hope all of you can relkate to and the MOST annoyibng thing to me other than people lookin ove r4my shoulder or touching my hair is when wopmen staret talkinmg about beiong fat or thiercellulilte im a dude man, i cant even discuss that stuff, maybe im just such a dude ium gay? no ummm no. hey also i heaRD THAT GUY from Blue i s all kiss and tell, what a biog mouth, i never have kissed and told on him and if i havent in him you can imagine who ui havent an dnever will on, crikey rarelyd o iu jmentiuon my ex fiancee for four years exc ept in abemoabning soprt of man that bgot away way but personal issues ? never ever ever, im shocked it s so ungentamnaly, if what i hear is true, but possibly its not= as far a ds my body = im eithert too fat or too skinny so just shut up abvou tit and as far as rock n roll thats what i love and if werte not super slick right nopw= GOOD i dont wanna be- reclaim your space wherever it may be and stick with it- get yourself comfy witha stage small opr big and just be and go with the flow oif i wa suopthere thinkiibng about that massive line and tiny space or how the fuck that ass got top my bacjstage or the super duper never tyoorich or thin media elite or the emo kids who ve been bottlegging everytghing ( i aSKED cfor it, not5hin i can do but go w ithth fklow an dmajke sure wto hold a few things bacjk that yall never have heard) oranything othert than focusing on my kids, and beinga band not a backing dammed band but a real band wich happend to have my name on it- biut so did neaio ypung withc razy horsde3 fop ryears and i just choose this road- i gotta say calling ones record zeitgeist might be asking for it just a teensy bit- but that guy has saved mne from death twice and you wont heafr me sday a word against him, i just am not an asshole and it cannot be fun for him - ive given myself the ben kingsley anthony hopkins challenge i hear about these things and im knowklegaBLE ABOUT WHo my enemies are in th e media and they are few,. but ionce youve had as iusaid last blog a fantastical dfownfall when you get back up you have so nmuch to teach others that you didnt in your delusional failsafe bubble and although flying coach is not an option for me - just cos i have learne3dc that cheap is something i can do ins ome places and cant do in others in these few short weeks-= if i end up in coach i will live- just lijke no subqwoffers im not bollovcking anyone= they can bollock themseklves or crunchy 17th century tables by fromer lovers and whoever their fucking l;atekly illjust nicely send the bill- yopu gotta change your attitue to suit the time of your life and the palce you are at i thought id never haver frie3nds again that noone would ever care that id bever wrote saongs again that id never do films or make records again that id never have a good band allthe worse stuff that my child wouldnever respect m,e againa nd be damaged dfror life by the thefts and by what the thefts drove me to, and due to vchanting and my Biddhist opracticde and my wonder woman energy muse jewelry and my magical young living oils wich ZArew fairly nonsensicla but people sewear theyve cuyred cancer with Young Living and if crytsals do have prote tivce power i certaobnly bought the lot in NY cos of the marc t shirt i had to pick one necklace to stay, i kept 33 on ion paris with couture aas its the most divine nukmb er in the dsystem but i kept 8 on in ny, you have to go to energy muse.com and read why i cant expolain it that quickly waht 8 means..... but when it got down to it id rathe rhave an 8 person or an 8 thing around me, iwant thier 11 the second most divine number- now think im ajkook about my california bananas hippie shit al;l one wants but between doing the 12 steps and really studyiing my soka gakkai shit and rteally putting my heart abnd my spul into mny practice, of nam myoho renge kyo- allthese things came back top me better than they ever had before -= my friendships are depper= my daiughter is more than fine- my finances are stable EXCEPTING THAT I REALLY NEED SUZE ORMAN TO EXPLAIN TO ME ALOT OF THINGS THAT HER BOOKS AND TAPES DO NOT-= I AM TEERIFIED THAT IT WILLAHPPEN AGAIN IF GOD FORBID SOMETHIBNG HAPPENS TO MY PROTECTOR AND I OBVIOUSLY HAVE SOME KARMA THATS ALLOWING SO0ME BAD SEEDS IN NEVER AST THE FIDUCIARY INSIOTUTION LEVEL OR THE HIGER LEVELS BUT AT THE LOWER END- THE ASST END, THERES BEEN A break a dark sort iof clouyd stillhangs in that opaert of my house. ive just been robbed in fact for alot of precious, irreplacebele items but in this case we are pressing charges, its n ot 2002 AND PEOPLE CANNOPT DO THAT to me , ever ever again. i wont ecven get into what happened wshen oi called my local p[olice and they scoffed at me and how emnraged that got ,my l;awyer, my lawyers and my protectors. are all on it,l so i feel secure but why does it happen still? straigfht up stolen from me. i dont even want to share what as iots beyond insane, and pretty terrible, but its not 02, ands noones gettin away with anything noone FROM 02 is gettin away with anything statutes take a loooong time to run out. but Anyway everyiones eaitin g for me to go to the beach, They wantto see my friend whop just go tout of jail and is sorta depressed i think and swim and stuff and drive down PCH so they cAn play the song better, and my other friend the one in the red onesy is in town for the weekend so well go vidsit her too, itll be fun for themt op meet these iconic lawomen, they are both sweet nioce people, and freaks like me, i am so unsnobby this way i think if you lik esomeone you like em, no matter what, even if they have fairly cheesy images a friend in need is a friend indeed and both people io just mentioned sent me books and flowers at rehab. and seemed to gicve a shit, oh yeah lastly on my p life, julie tells me as does one of my mgrs that they the tbas keep[ making references to cdrinking getting drunk etc, being a hgellraiser trashiungr ooms an dbeing drunk= ugh SOBER MEANS YOU DONT DRINK, its like people cannpot accept that i have my adre3n iline and i can fuck shit up on amusicaL LEVEL without killing myseklf for thier amusement or drinking, get ocver ot i do not drink, im 2.4 years sober, and is houldbnt even hAve to say that- its suchg a lam e bon m ot to drop that one" ogh she must be on _____" fuck that, or she "mustve had surgery" fuck that too, last surgery i ever had was bvefore new years to fix that crazy lip thing and too MUCH sirgery from when i was in my be3droom for 6-7 years, i was just a butterfly on a pin in that bedroom and i never got my messages and was ina fancy isolation booth for years, now im amking up fpr thazt wich means alot of things beinga good mom and good to your frie3nds and family and fans, and the waiters and teh cleaners and all of humanity since we are all totallyc onnected an dnone of us ids beter than anyone else, and cynicism is the enemny of a happy life conditiona nd sane mind, delusion or humanity- pick wich road your on.
i hop ethis Roxy show has trhe attitude and positivity that tghe London one did evcen thoiugh that was like playing in a hiurricane ina swamp thru a dark night iof the soul, we did do it and i asked for small shows anbd small shows mean shit sound, thats just the deal. but if your tight enuff you can fucjking shut up and put up= maybe well rehearse carcrash tomorrow in its nebulous pre linda stage and see if its playabvle everyone who hears it do far fucking loves it- i justr bneed ot do a lyricAL change in th ebridge and see wot it soundchecks like or how it goes over- ive leartned so much from those of you who have ghonoure dus with your attendence, youve been lovely and supportive an d i so want to thank you! i wasnt too pl;eased with NY but i could be projecting my own post traumatic stress disorder- i live there too= dammit its my dammed town as well, and well get a nic eloft or apt there rthis year and noone can take that away from me again, or maybe w village town house, whatever- its one the greatest cities in the world and if you live a gfentle life, and keep yourself fairtly wellinsulated from the madness of the place its a fantastic city , although i do so lovce London too, and also the s o France, hmmmm, qualoity problem is what this is, i justr opay way way way too much tax an dknopwing that it goes to harmn children and innocent peiople and i have no dsay ion it makes me wanna have a sconbd reisdence sxomewhere else as well./
okay gotta gochant, thanks fo ryour support in Manhattan! as always ist very appreciated, NY isnot Alot asbout enthusiasm and i felt like icouldcve brought it more- justthe positivity i feel inside iwasnt self conscious in the least- just a little mopre self dceprecating than i feel as though i wad comnpenstaing for some imginaery thing - fuck it fuck it fuck it, well next time I wiull bve fairt game and ive klearne dto handle the kinetic frenzy of the energy of that town more and more and not to allow people who would abvuse thie rpositions of authoirty to get in a tabloid allowed to get near me in any manner- thats i guess what afears me about ny having been hunted an dtreated like an animal there, But im wellocver it, and i am affronted serioudsly bothered when people "loved: that Bowery show- i was forced to do thats how, a hewalthy person wouldve cancelled such a show ats uch a time, I m so not intereetsed in the whole NY thing of self immolation, it does not interest mne in the sk,oghtest, im singingf plemnty about it, its allthere in the music i cdertaionly do not have to nor eill i act upon it, and rock is what gets me alive and hurts my adrenals and my vical chords and uncoils my mojo, evern if i did drink wich obviously i do not, the alc hohol wears off in ione song even if its 40 people , iofyou are really playing with the fire of your soul then you give allyouve got, and yoru adrenaLS AND MUSCLes and writstsadnarms shoudl fucking hurt , like hell, and you should use if your in my positiobn your job for value crerationb not destruction of your own humanb divine life- and certainly not fo rterh amusement of others and anyone dissa[pointe4d inb that part of the world that i refuse to lay down and die while i still have what i have to say and i stillfeel every second of it, likei said theres plenty of people with less to offer and perhaps more willing to be your martyr, im just not a victim and im not one of them and if got any negtivity off of the enrgy of the room it was that i stood on top of a teensy amp fpr a musical interlude ion pch fopr justa second i wented to make aeye conact with the whiole of the place an d i felkrt the great roar of happiness aS THOUGH IU WOULD JUMP, well im not gonna jump, maybve someday illjump if i feel like it= but i jump omn m,y own bed with my family and what else os there to say really? value and cherish your l,ife as it is divine and eternal and we are allaprrt if one thing and on ot serttle fopr a fixed destiony or a movie someone else ios wrioting vfor you, ist absurd, l.oveyopurself enough to crrate your own destiny is what im trying to say wich is why the "secret:" bothers the hell out of me, ist all about the abundan ce of the unoverse but tells noone how to getthere- and Buddhism is the obnly paractice study and religion that allows you to get there to get out of hell hunger an danimality rage and a fast fix of drugs or shopping and see beyobnd that- to sere every impediment as a source of joy and a great lesson.
hey i do put m,y money where mty mouth is on this sibject.
too much violence atthat show people bleeding and punching and hating, ive chnaged jobs im not th erperson yopu come to witrh that nonsense-= icannopt hel[ you, id ont even wantto help you, copme to mne in a better life state and ill do what i can fo ryou, come to m e in your jpoy at cherishin g your own life and the life of others and youll always have my dfeepest respect. lastly my sex life is NOONES buysinerss wich is why you diont hear about it, i believe that its the last bastion of provac y i have, and i keep my things top myself omn that topic and id ont like iot beibng projecte don me who im sleeping with or not-= truts me youllnot see me photgraphed with whop i sleep wioth til i marry that person and even then id ont believe in red cvarpetes with others.
its not open fpr specualtion its about dicretion with me wich is why thsi brit pop perswon os sp terribly annoying, and as isaid nopt az gentlemanly thing to say or do at all and if what i heard is corectr hes nopt even tellingthe truth. ugh. keep it to yourself babe, noone cares, and iof they do its momentary and will be wrapping greasy food soon enough. Last time a thing iof mine was amd epublic itw as witha person who doesnt value their selves or anyone else and has nopt evolved to aZ loving place for humanity or women and cannot look in the mirror not to mention the massive and hughe humiliation and violation involved for allconcerend, id id get a good song out of it, but out of the private aspects of it, but thats about it, its just astory that was cashed in. and embarsses m e to this day that in that state if animailty and ghell i was living in of couyrse my judgement was impaired and i went alonga nd just floated with possibly the most embarassing human bveing i can think of and the least gentlamanly ghuman being ive ever known- that doesnt mean there isnt an inherent B uddhahood in that operson they ar ejust evry very very very far away from it and wiullhave to giver many many lfetimes to figiuring out how to respect otherts families and property and privacy.
k im gobnna go c hant, love to all an d may your lif econdition and sel flopve raise high as the this benevcolent and grabnd unbiverse will p[osibly allow wich is infinite and ever expabnding and wondrous and lovely.
Pleazse send uop gpd viobes for a greats ound and a slick but flawed per4fect but fucked up show on the 17th and if you wanna come gop to my website and juliet willsend me the data and well pick a huindre3fd ofv you cos we like you and 100 of you cos your names in the hat. also i am terrifically sorry about the tardiness involved in NYC i was ready to go on at 10 30, s i told my frie3nds to be there 1030 sharp, and for sopme inane reason we went in an horu later possibly the punbching fighting mnew yorkness of it all. dunno, but i do end up with the blame and im, not bog in tardiness these days wich means i have got to go.
sincerely in the literal sense.
courtney