i would never votefor a presidenty based on the "person id most like to have a beer witH" Fox transparently obvious talking point. Its maddeningly sexist and mostly its DUMB.
Beer isnt even GOOD. i mean REALLY. "ahh ahm a gonna belly up to the sports bar and have a brewski y'all want one?"
i mean who has really had more than TEN beers in thier life on my blog?
Guess what ? Ill bet the farm my blog subsribers are in NO WAY "beer drinkers" AND ill alsop bet they are fucking VOTERS, so shut this shit up , this applies to " We pick our stadium rockers based on whom wed most like to have a beer with" ( see Creed) Really? having done my fair share of things with a few stadium rockers and rocked a few stadiums myself and certainly planning to rock a few more since noone seems interested in taking MY job.....yay!......ive done LOADS of things with LOADS OF STADIUM ROCKERS INCLUDING
HAVING SEX
LOANING SUNSCREEN
HAVING THEM GIVE ME A PACK OF SILK CUTS
DOING A LINE
PLAYING TRIVIal PURSUIT
VISITING THEM AT HoME IN THE SOUTH OF FRANCE'
GOING TO THE LOUVRE WITH
CUTTING UP FRUIT FOR A FRUIT SALAD
'MAKING PASTA
LISTENING TO PUCCINI IN MATCHING KIMONOS DRINKING PETRUS READING THE NEW YORK TIMES'
SHARING MAKEUP AND CLOTHES( BOTH SEXES)
SNUBBING
NOT SHARING DRUGS WITH
KIckING THE ASSES OF ( SONICALLY)
hitchiking from sardina with
never once have i had a beer with or even seen a stadium rocker i know drink a dammed beer so im really quite annoyed the the Village Voice of all things for some review of some mediocre band they just did and like baaaa sheep..... a beloved institution got suckered into using a Fox talking point for gods sake!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
fey
we sooo dont like one another - but ah well in the end she writes like a motherfucker and i admit that i moxi ( so much better than Tivo!) 30 rock! all the time! i loved the sorkin show the snl thing- somnething sunset? i loooved it but father up like 6 30 rocks and skip the ads and youll be on the floor - shes just MERCILESS on my shit, she probaby has some wierd fantasy of my life like alot of Canadian Midwesterners thazt could not be further from reality although i am about to have a monkey funeral and go visit Ceceil B demille actually i almost bought HIS old house! egads! ready for my closeup indeed. Man i gotta get ouyt of here - i could always just move to Malibu that IS the equivalant of getting out of here without getting out of here but NO it really is time for the house in maida Vale and W village over it and the Chateau is no longer safe or fun like it was for some reason its crawling w Brit journos and teeny stars, it usecd to be such a cool hangf and you could wear crap or something fabulous or basically nothing- Geez i swill say that Josh Hartnett is really kinda cute in real life- way m,ore than i ever thought when i saw him out before and very very nice. Okay got stuff to do! Ill check out Marion i think iwas forgetting to put on my lipstick. in the opther room when she won. the arc whee "Marcel:" dies is really excellent. and JAMES MACAVOY who the fuck wouldnt swoon over that kid! wow! i have to work tomorrow biut right before am goign to see Ratners Roman Polanski rape charges docu with all the righteous cool dudes- Beatty Nicholson Bob Evans who was wearing velvet pants last i saw him -= im looking foreward to a little old hollywood, then i gotta wirk mt GOD i think iwas in the greatest band in history last night, i am really not joking here. mix my brits with my la dudes ...FUCK ME we were good,k THANK GOD for Stu. her is a golden god, i hope he knows how much i love him!
soon come! but too many good songs are stillcoming and i cant help that, so its just wiorth the wait that way isnt it? We now have an entirely other set- Jesus what if this turns into a DOUBLE RECORD! isnt hat pretentoius? well i dont care if everything is up to snuf then i dont care. and youll be happy too.
Brodie Dalle called me the other night all happy very...enhanced ...oh and i had a verrry interesting discussion with Simon Cowell about Rock N roll.
hmmmmm....am i nam edropper or what? YES!
oh wait i moxi'd "dirt" thatll be fun.
xxc
soon come! but too many good songs are stillcoming and i cant help that, so its just wiorth the wait that way isnt it? We now have an entirely other set- Jesus what if this turns into a DOUBLE RECORD! isnt hat pretentoius? well i dont care if everything is up to snuf then i dont care. and youll be happy too.
Brodie Dalle called me the other night all happy very...enhanced ...oh and i had a verrry interesting discussion with Simon Cowell about Rock N roll.
hmmmmm....am i nam edropper or what? YES!
oh wait i moxi'd "dirt" thatll be fun.
xxc
Sunday, February 24, 2008
oscars
swank looked great, i bet that was Versace, she looke dgirly for the fiorst time in forever- im sad for PTA i love teh Coens but PTA well tehy shouldve let him release all 6 hours of There Will Be Blood cos thats what i bet there is of it, Kidman as anyone knows and me are not bffs by any stretch, and i though te edgy thing was cool but for some reason not onher- and her forehead is way too shiny it flips me out- iwas REALLY isnpired Diablo Cody won - that was fucking AWESOME in fact i think i just may have peed all over her My Space- i was supposed to be at Eltons Party at i think noon or something and if we dont hiurry it will suck- i really dont want to get there ina crush of shit and stuff- wait my pr is outside im calling her hold on- okay i hope the disaster has been averted but m,y expirience with that party is that i do NOT want to see Paris dancing ona table i really really DONT and i dont want to stuff a stale slamon canape in my mouth and i really need to get laid so i m off to do so.
i love dthat tattoo on her ( Dibalo) and her cute thigh and the wietzman shoes were actually pretty unnatractuve really,. neat, i like the minnesota thing too, i wont be getting a bl;ack bob although i think abou tit contstantly , but it was inspiring rarely does anyone win when theyre an "outisder" particul;alrly chicks who talk about sex working- desp[ite the fact that EVERYONE i know in this town who wasnt upper middle class or didnt come from a hollywood family DID IT and even then i know of some exceptions. so i was really proud a little Nirvana moment if you will.
"we won" my friend Daphne Guiness is here and i cant wait to see her.
okay signiong off ,. im moving bu June really why? cos between a blood red Fortuny and a pink Fortuny id get all sorts of crazy shit by people who dont even know whata Fortuny is ! borrrring, ill be back but for now im so over L:A
love
Corks
i love dthat tattoo on her ( Dibalo) and her cute thigh and the wietzman shoes were actually pretty unnatractuve really,. neat, i like the minnesota thing too, i wont be getting a bl;ack bob although i think abou tit contstantly , but it was inspiring rarely does anyone win when theyre an "outisder" particul;alrly chicks who talk about sex working- desp[ite the fact that EVERYONE i know in this town who wasnt upper middle class or didnt come from a hollywood family DID IT and even then i know of some exceptions. so i was really proud a little Nirvana moment if you will.
"we won" my friend Daphne Guiness is here and i cant wait to see her.
okay signiong off ,. im moving bu June really why? cos between a blood red Fortuny and a pink Fortuny id get all sorts of crazy shit by people who dont even know whata Fortuny is ! borrrring, ill be back but for now im so over L:A
love
Corks
Monday, February 11, 2008
not my number
someone posted a friend of mines phone number and says its mine this jackass Karmi, on a website that is coming down but frankly i have waaay more relevanat things to do than worry about a website with insanely inflated viewing numbers some tiny clusterfuck of annoyance that i only ever rememeber when i ( rarely ) go on the internet as i am making music films and raising a child conducting my life getting laid and tivoing suze orman- so wtf? STOP CAllING MY FRIEND KATHERINE, SHE HAS THREE KIDS AND HAS NO TIM E FOR INTERNET BULLSHIT- SHE SPOKE TO SOMEONE AS ME TO PROTECT ME OUT OF SHEER CURIOUSITY TO SUSS OUT THE PERSONS VIBE AND SAQID HE W2AS A TOTAL SOCIOPATH LOSER AND NOW SHE HAS TOC HANGE HER NUMBER AS THIS RETARD POSTED IT as if ID ac=tually speak to Karmi personally! PUHLEASE ( aka chris) i never ever ever speak tp [people off the internet myself i have people who do that for me, and she also has a husband and thank god this is her secondary phone as shes basically thrown it away- and i will make sure i get the lawyeres whow eresorty of moseying to hurry and take thaT fucking site down as the webmaster ( trannie named brooke) lied at the icann hearing and now irt has to get dponw throughthe federal squatters law theres just been more important things but seriously this is stupid , obviously none of you here have engaged in terrorising Katherine or her kids with stupid phoners about we cante evr figur eout what- just "oooheee i have a famous persons phon e number and im in bumfuck Maryland" its just stupid obscene and RUDE, remember m,anners are free. youve fucked someones secondary cell up but it aint mine but its still insane and rude and Chris whoever the fuck you are i dont write back on this site personally so whoeevr was on shift was obviouswly fucking with you it takes about 8 people to run this site for some reason and tho i do read the comments i dontrtend to write lengthy letters back personally although occasionally i wrote a friend or somneone i like or post at someones space b ut not too often, trhats just how these my spaces work- so dont go offended - i love this my space and i dont need this karma wierdness- get off my cloud.
Karmi + CHRIS your just creepy, leave me alone leave my friends alone and go post with your people. until they get kicked off the net.
as fro ou guys here i love you and support all our efforts to im prove our lives an d i welcome all the new people here and its really awesone that id ont have to use one of those computer programs id die of embarsssment to add a million friends - i dunno i just think thats retarted id rather have it happen slow and organically so we can all getto know one another
loadswof love and be nice or leave
nam myoho renge kyo
Courtnoi
Karmi + CHRIS your just creepy, leave me alone leave my friends alone and go post with your people. until they get kicked off the net.
as fro ou guys here i love you and support all our efforts to im prove our lives an d i welcome all the new people here and its really awesone that id ont have to use one of those computer programs id die of embarsssment to add a million friends - i dunno i just think thats retarted id rather have it happen slow and organically so we can all getto know one another
loadswof love and be nice or leave
nam myoho renge kyo
Courtnoi
Thursday, January 24, 2008
men
well that was a lesson in self reliance....more later- pussies! testerical asses! not you THEM< thank god i have a few Guardian Angels and MYSELF
xc
xc
Saturday, January 19, 2008
bangy
crikey and i thought my haiRDREsser LIKED me- well i rarely go out anyhow- so now you see the crazy too short bangs - i was obligated to go to that Hysteric Glamour thing for ever- they always give me free shit for years and they make the BEST jeans ever ever ever- and thier t shirts are cool too- i gave em permission to use ONE KC shot and they like...made an enitre baby line- and i ended up talking to journos i shouldn't have , but its all been resxolved now- one hopes- i was when oiwent ina an absouloute rage at an ex boyfriend whom i consider a friend and a man of great integrity- this man could save me millions- more importantly save my daughters future and save possibly my very life- but he still does not believe me despite red handed obvious shit- so it always comes down to Ockhams Razor the simplest is ussually the correct-
i and Dirty are doing 3 hours of daimoku everty single day from here til 14 days watch the shit shift into gold= i need this tozan so bad- ive been nbot working the tightest program and been multi tasking and managing time horribly- so i was on the phone and i said i wanted pretty short bangs- not NO bangs and she cut them when i was on the phone with one of these whakcjob banks that heres some trust and some joint bogus account and some insane mortage in- these fucks for years and years and years=- in anycase anyone know exactly how many records Nirvana has sold all in worldwide since Nirvana started? i have tried to go to allt hese sites- it says nevermind sold 25 million - but it passed that years ago- and the bopxxset was the bests elling boxset of all time- im almost afraid to know how many Hole has sold worldwide all of them together- i bet its not as much as i think it is- well if youknow the exact numbers or have a way of adding them up it would help me do something so exact and so totally simple- it depends on the integrity of three m,en of great integrity- Actually it depends on the cajones of these three men and the fourth man has far toomuch to lose- i do not like being "handled" told that the earth is flat when it is not- and the utter lack of accountibility thats still in my financiaL life is going to simply.....change- as it has in every other area of my life but a certain asset im half owner of- thazt asset must be protected- and not even in a m illion years will i let certan things happen to her wich are bad- I've never complained or whined or demanded when it comes to this asset- but when it comes to he Music- its like when the Golden Globves asked me to hand out best song- and it was PHIL COLLINS over Aimee Mann and REM hadnt even been nominated for MOTM, i waqs furious if they haD put me up for best dp or something id have been as sweet nice presenter- but my opinions on music are insanely speciifc and im really not able to even when i try stand trite crap- im no music snob i love a great Pop song etc. but crud is crud- mr Colins im sure is still pissed off at me and i sort of dont c are- well of course i wish i hadnt offended him - hes justa guy whose actually written a few good songs- anywaY- sorry fopr being obtuse- but sim,plicity and faith are hard to come by and one has a real vision and changes ones life state fast- by dping loads of daimoku-= with that saiud im 2 hours late for my 3 hour chant so the bangs will GROW and i dont go out much anyway wheres theres paps-= im gonna work on my budget and understanding this whole thing and making it go away asx its taking a toll on my health- wich has always been my best asset, after seeing Sicko i see now how horrible it must be to be sick and poor- and these loans im sick of doling out i have to see as charity- if these people who legitmatly borrowed money from me had just attempted to pay back one dollar id be mor einclined to help them-= id like one loan in my book to be paid back or at least attempted- ive told someone an old friend and foe that that was teh last cash she was getting- and to accept her age and status and deal- and i canta fford to help anymore- i have a whole family to support and fraud fraud fraud everywhere i look- its randomely insane- wich is why i supose its hard for anyone to beleve ecept women and high net worth men- anyway i have faith that the integrity of the three men i must depend on to get the facts of this thrown out thrown uyp psyhco puzzle will communicate to each other- i must say Sparkarts Naveen is a dammed GENIUS and theres a reason to not have forums at onesx website- its just a bucmnh of trouble why not offer more music and cool merch ( im not putting any t shirts out without at leats 10% silk in them) and fantastic art and cool stuff and cut out the nonsense-
okay well my kid did a huge spread in a massive beauty magazine and i cannot wait to see it- shes so brilliant and im so lucky let me go create some value in my life condition and rock the Gohonzon now.
sorry about the bangs man! iwas as i said on the phone and not telling her and she went all avant garde on me- my vintage collection is growing amazingly- i almost bought a Cambell Soup paper dress- it was a real piece of history- but id only ever wear it to Maireads c lub in Lndn.
in fact id never wear it- somethongs up with my bank and i have to bollock them Monday - rather than blog all this obtuse shit im going to chant-= and feed my spirit- loads of love to all.
xxxcourt
i and Dirty are doing 3 hours of daimoku everty single day from here til 14 days watch the shit shift into gold= i need this tozan so bad- ive been nbot working the tightest program and been multi tasking and managing time horribly- so i was on the phone and i said i wanted pretty short bangs- not NO bangs and she cut them when i was on the phone with one of these whakcjob banks that heres some trust and some joint bogus account and some insane mortage in- these fucks for years and years and years=- in anycase anyone know exactly how many records Nirvana has sold all in worldwide since Nirvana started? i have tried to go to allt hese sites- it says nevermind sold 25 million - but it passed that years ago- and the bopxxset was the bests elling boxset of all time- im almost afraid to know how many Hole has sold worldwide all of them together- i bet its not as much as i think it is- well if youknow the exact numbers or have a way of adding them up it would help me do something so exact and so totally simple- it depends on the integrity of three m,en of great integrity- Actually it depends on the cajones of these three men and the fourth man has far toomuch to lose- i do not like being "handled" told that the earth is flat when it is not- and the utter lack of accountibility thats still in my financiaL life is going to simply.....change- as it has in every other area of my life but a certain asset im half owner of- thazt asset must be protected- and not even in a m illion years will i let certan things happen to her wich are bad- I've never complained or whined or demanded when it comes to this asset- but when it comes to he Music- its like when the Golden Globves asked me to hand out best song- and it was PHIL COLLINS over Aimee Mann and REM hadnt even been nominated for MOTM, i waqs furious if they haD put me up for best dp or something id have been as sweet nice presenter- but my opinions on music are insanely speciifc and im really not able to even when i try stand trite crap- im no music snob i love a great Pop song etc. but crud is crud- mr Colins im sure is still pissed off at me and i sort of dont c are- well of course i wish i hadnt offended him - hes justa guy whose actually written a few good songs- anywaY- sorry fopr being obtuse- but sim,plicity and faith are hard to come by and one has a real vision and changes ones life state fast- by dping loads of daimoku-= with that saiud im 2 hours late for my 3 hour chant so the bangs will GROW and i dont go out much anyway wheres theres paps-= im gonna work on my budget and understanding this whole thing and making it go away asx its taking a toll on my health- wich has always been my best asset, after seeing Sicko i see now how horrible it must be to be sick and poor- and these loans im sick of doling out i have to see as charity- if these people who legitmatly borrowed money from me had just attempted to pay back one dollar id be mor einclined to help them-= id like one loan in my book to be paid back or at least attempted- ive told someone an old friend and foe that that was teh last cash she was getting- and to accept her age and status and deal- and i canta fford to help anymore- i have a whole family to support and fraud fraud fraud everywhere i look- its randomely insane- wich is why i supose its hard for anyone to beleve ecept women and high net worth men- anyway i have faith that the integrity of the three men i must depend on to get the facts of this thrown out thrown uyp psyhco puzzle will communicate to each other- i must say Sparkarts Naveen is a dammed GENIUS and theres a reason to not have forums at onesx website- its just a bucmnh of trouble why not offer more music and cool merch ( im not putting any t shirts out without at leats 10% silk in them) and fantastic art and cool stuff and cut out the nonsense-
okay well my kid did a huge spread in a massive beauty magazine and i cannot wait to see it- shes so brilliant and im so lucky let me go create some value in my life condition and rock the Gohonzon now.
sorry about the bangs man! iwas as i said on the phone and not telling her and she went all avant garde on me- my vintage collection is growing amazingly- i almost bought a Cambell Soup paper dress- it was a real piece of history- but id only ever wear it to Maireads c lub in Lndn.
in fact id never wear it- somethongs up with my bank and i have to bollock them Monday - rather than blog all this obtuse shit im going to chant-= and feed my spirit- loads of love to all.
xxxcourt
Saturday, January 12, 2008
dignity dignity and grace.
i had a long wierd dream ,,,,i was in an old lovers hotel room amongst his filthy clothes and the way he smelled- itw as a long time ago now- and we werent muchmore than fuckbuddies, i was in such a fragile place and i genuinly loved him in a very broken glass sort of way, i awoke, feeling very disoriented that i had broken into his private space and i knew that i shouldnt have done this- to a text- a friend was walking in a canyon today and saw him walking- i felt strange- Thats good he was walking. I was in some filthy suite of his in some land far away.
hes fallen off the radar - when i hear of his endless drug taking and partying i get really sad- in fact that phrase "partying" always makes me sad- partying is maybe some people on the beach drinking beers and maybe smoking a little- "partying" is not some desperate days in a hotel room with people coming and going and desperate pathetic amounts of ingesting narcotics.and scary sweaty porno sex.
In my life Sobriety comes first as does Spiritulaity- and the one thing that fucks up people's perception of me seems to come solely from me "blogging" and misspelling.
So ill focus more on that because i really dont like anyone questioning my Sobriety.
Wich, speaking of, Pinsky is a GREAT doctor and a friend of mine- we have similiar idea of sobriety- what it is and what it is not, but i object to being the last shot leading up to the credits of his reality show the "celebrity" rehab one. I know hes doing it for the right reasons, buut iam not the latest or the greatest to be strapped to a guerney and my situation was very very differnt than other peoples- not my addiction- we are all the same in that context- us addic ts- noone is any more special that anyone else- but i WAS literally driven mad by a cabal of people embezzling and embezzling a forging and embezzling VAST amounts of money- from my banker and his felon boyfriend to my own "boyfriend" wich was just a suicide ride to hell. and in that picture i am genuinly terrified, noone had been in so much trouble yet, it wasnt common like it is a mere 4 years later, and that reminder of my terror is not what i want you to see or me to have to see- i am trying in that moment to figure out how the hell the BHPD have "lost" the prescriptions I've provided them with, this prism of Parade magazine bullshit perception really makes me pissy. I've been sober a long time for me- lnger than i ever have and i work in it DAILY- and i know until i drop a CD nothing is changing in terms of perception, but i could have dropped a CD months ago if i felt it was finished. Playing those shows was a great thing todo for my idea of this record, arrangements etc, but it leaves me witha quandry - i have to live and love in "the dark" for another few months, and its just the way it is.
i can look amazing, i can work the couture all day long , i can rock the Fortuny and be flAwless and im still going to be "skanky" , but I know it ends , and my skin is pretty thick about somethings like the illegitmate media, i really couldnt give a rat's ass about what they say or what photo they use- they could be attacking anyone the same way- Kidman could walk a carpet and if she were in my shoes no matter how flawless she had worked it- theyd contextualise it as stupid or find some "skanky " flaw- noone is perfect and noone never has a zit , noone, iknow everyone and am friends with most everyone i do know=-so bring it.
For now.
Well see how this all ends, its a happy ending story for me no matter what.
I am working on MY self esteem and i have a purpose on this earth- I want you all to get your credit scores from the credit bureaus and look at them. and study them as 9 out of 10 of you are currently being id fruaded i just happened to have it happen to me from my own suicide slide to hell my own useless sleazebag "boyfriend" whatever the hell that really means anymore- he's a grotesque chapter in my life one i ruefully and utterly regret. Healtha nd Abundance are easy-
budgets are hard but i am learning how to live within a real budget because renting is not my idea of a good time- and i saved up for that Fortuny.
There arent many of them , thi smakes me by the way a "Serious Collector" now-= i am also looking at an old House of Worth piece amongst others, if youve peeked at the site you know the colour- also look at the "Tophatshop" they dont quite give the prices i imgaine they are not cheap- but an old - Peta be dammed for A moment- beaverskin/silk or rabbutfur/wool tophat worn and frayed- I can reallythink of nothing cooler presently- the D and L apocothery guy wears one and i went nuts on all his little trinkets for my teenage childs Christmas- the poisonous rare botanicals he uses , theblack plates with the seven deadlies on them, the lacquere3d tray with the mother of pearl skull in the middle and i dont even like skulls, bit this one is insane. the sterling Thorn Apple candle container, the beuatifully carved black box that holds the creamiest thickest vellum note paper in an Ecru with a small black plume embossed on it, ahh, i have always loved the most expensive thing in the shop, even when i had no context of what cost whati always wanted the prettiest most well made item- and thats always turned out to be the costliest- so its hard to reign it in - especially my florals, wich are killing my budget, but orchids wich used to be in Seattle, a great love of mine and Banzais, wich still are- last a long time if you care for them properly-=
OKAY STOP THE PRESSES- THERES A THING IN THE CURRENT CHANNEL ABOUT "CROTCH STRANGLERS" HOW THE HELL DID I JUST RECOGNISE JOHNNY BURRELL, NOEL FIELDING AND RUSSELL ( BRAND) BY THEIR CROTCH SHOTS? THATS SCARY! MAYBE I CHECK OUT PACKAGES MOR ETHAN I THINK I DO!COS THESE ARE JUST FRIENDS OF MINE- RUSSELL HAS A TOALLY RECONISABLE ASS AND NOEL DOES TOO, I SUPPOSE BURRELLS A CHEAT AS IT WAS OBVIOUSLY APERFORMER IN WHITE PANTS- AND THE ONE NIGHT WE ACTUALLY TALKED ( I WAS SORT OF AN ASS TO HIM BY MISTAKE AND HES A REALLY SWEET BOY AND I CERTAINLY DIDNT M,EAN TO BE MEAN OR COME OFF MEAN) AND HUNG OUTI DONT RECLAL CHECKING HIS PACKAGE WHATSOVER... AND I ADORE HIS BROTHER WILLY BURRELL- HE MAKES ME LAUGH TIL I CRY, AND I HAVENT GHEARD FROM NOEL IN WEEKS, OVER A MONTH AND I MISS HIM DRAMATICALLY NOR HAVE I HEARD FROM DEEDEE- AND I LOVE THEM- IF YOUR OUT THERE- [[[[[[[[iframe]]]]]]]]D YOUR DRAWINGS OF THE DOGS AND GAVE THEM TO FRANNY FOR CHRISTMAS KEEPING PRINCESS FOR MYSELF- YOUR ARE BOTH GENIUSES ANDS I LOVE YOU BOTH!
Go check oiut Robots In Disguise- Dee wrote maybe ( with Noel a bit ) the greatest rock song ive heard in years. Please nail that song Dee- it took everything i had to try and forget it- but its the ctahiest motherfucking song ive heard in a million years!
anyway bah humbug to earthly desires - i just have a great love for the well designed and the well made- wether niavely or expertly. Im looking at Japanese Modern - wich removes clutter instantly- id like a Malibu home wich has that vibe and London and Franny can have her West Village house- but to do so- i need to create and save and read and accum,alate and smother myself in detail. But I have to have London first im only happy there- in la i just work and work and work and im exhausted, i dont go out i just work.
okay well i have a few things to do and to think about.
my mood board is looking crazy good- ive become quiote obsessed with the "Golden Lotus Glide:" aka Foot Binding and the little three inch shoes these Chinese women would embroider-
for thousands of years, i believe, Chinese mothers or Grandmothers would wait until a child was 6 or 7 - take silk strips and soak them in animals blood and herbs and break all the toes on a girls feet wrap the feet and bind them - 2 days later do it again and keep going until the feet and toes were entirely deformed- since this began with concubines in gilded palaces that was one thing- but it went to all classes so women would literally be crawling in the fields because they could not walk- and thier husbands could never see these feet wich are scarya s hell to look at - ive been hanging the images up on my board, of the little Lotus feet- THREE INCHES was the golden mean by wich your foot was measured- woe betide you if your foot was bigger-
I look at my own fat little feet and wonder what the hell i would have done with such a nightmare-
also the husbands never saw the actual feet just the tiny slipper- Google Foot Binding an dtake a peek if you can. and then look at what Corsets did to our insides for also 100s and 100s of years- our foremothers mustve been on a whole LOT of opiates- Laudenum and Morphine mixtures an dnoone hears about our mothers sides - we hear of whom was an alchoholic in our families but what about those of us with a taste for other things? when you see the corsetry that went on- you wonder what the hell we were thinking putting our spleens and livers through such nonsense to achieve a huge bustled ass and a tiny waist and a different bustline every generation.
ill take a Fortuny any day-
since the Couture is coming im wondering wether i should get down to that teeny weight again, i think i should so i can wear this Fortuny with great pride and if it means i have to cut back ona couple of Ensures and do alot more exercise-= to get to 120- just for that week or so- maybe i shall- i likemyself right here at 135- im so not interested in ever being 155 again although i loved myself and my body at that weight i love sample sizes more.
Well see, im quite conflicted about it- the parade of Russians im going to see willbe fucked in thier thymuses and pituataries and thyroids in a way thats only genetic and n ot to do with any eating disorder- i just wonder why Russia? what part? they make not muc h money walking in shows, the end game is a campaign, Theres a new model P{etra i think? shes got the most amazing face i think ive ever seen- Kate will always hold a special place ;
for us having a slumber party years ago and waking up and being agog at her sleeping face- that girl is a Great Great Beauty obviously- i am friends with quite a few and i dont notice their external beauty except sometimes a certain light will catch and ill be breathless at what god gave them to work with.
My favourite scenarious wich sound cliched as hell tho are when someone ( Like Gwyneth) is equally beuatiful on the inside if not more so than on the outside wich is substantial or when someone one might consider a little chubby or not quite pretty who has so much steely confidence and unlimited self esteem whose happiness is rooted so deeply that theyre confidence and inner beauty overcomes how "non photgenic" they may be- they rise to the beauty of any externally beautiful person ever.
I jiust did a massive shoota nd i caved and let my daughter do one - mine was for a small very very Fashionista magazine - my kids was for a massive Beauty Bible and is a huge piece. shes so beautiful and we shall see in the next few months , iwas sad to hear it was not Peter Lindbergh who shot her and i want to know who shot her-and i still havent been answered but Monday i will be.
I heard it was Lindbergh- and had total confidence- it is my job to protect her 100%, so im a bit pissy to hear who this was. as i was not "allowed" on the set- cos shes 15 and no 15 year old wants thier mom to see them grow thier little wings. Shes breathlessly beautiful - whatever was awkward last year is gone gone gone, and shes just EPIC , and so kind and so lovely, and such a good person , despite Mommy going kookoo bananas over the money thing and the drugs and despite Daddy being a .......problem .....a hole...andd espite all her money being stolen once, i am rebuilding that issue and those people will pay pay and pay cos Karma and the Law catches up to everyone no matter how hard you run.
For those of you who like to ponder my "krazy" postings- i put alot of essential information in them as fucked up as i was- there were things i was writing straight off paper accounts and faKE names and banks etc- ive found one- you may be quite amused at my life c ondition atthe time wich i think is pretty sick- but i thank god for you- could you please foreward to Jason T thos eposts ? I really need them- all. i have only been able to collect a few- and they are helping my team alot= I know they read Koo Koo but i need them so foreward them here please, i could not make calls or send emails or send faxes as all were being diverted- so i posted- and thank god i posted- i couldnt remember all of that no matter how high an iq i may or may not have- memory retention is not endless - especially unde rthose conditions and weve come to understand just how much money was involved it makes perfect sense they had a Guerilla motherfucker terrorising me, wow its mindblowing- and most of it is Frances's money they stole.
I do not like quibbling with sexist men about the difference between 62 or 69 forged accounts- and i will not tolerate it an ymore- i am stepping into the light and im taking some very powerful women and some very very high net worth men with me who have gathered to support me and its a miracoulous thing and im very happy with the gifts of this universe and with the human kindness of people whove been brought to me by the Divine Dirty Harry i am mor ethan thankful for them- sexiness is defined to me by kindness. By no strings attached. By the factt hat the middle NEVER does right by me but the TOP always does and so fuck the middle.
No actually i hold no grudges if your in the middle your just a mediocre lemming by nature and youll behave the proper way as you are directed wich makes you - mediocre in all that you do- to not jump on a crusade to help a CHILD or a WOMAN when your a man with some great power is DISGUSTING- but other men will make you do your job and i have them in spades- Spirit. The Shoten Zenjin ALWAYS come through!
SoundtraCK of my day Giant Drag. i LOVE her- i just watched her "tastemakers and secondary markets" and i fell on the floor laughing- Annie YOU RULE! i love love love your attitude! your hystericaL and aware of the game - dont let anyone fuck with your purity- Mica aND ANNIE YOUR MY INSPIRATION DU JOUR!
"First the tastemakers, then the secondary markets, then FuckingNOTHING but unit movage bro"
your a genius!
"Even crappy bands inspire you not to SUCK"
honey you are a QUEEN!
and you so dont suck!
love myself those Giant Drag kids and love your nice fat Gibson /Marshall tone. good for you you Goddess! First girl thats caught my eye playing Rock in a LOOOOOONNNNNGGGG time i have time to investigate....in fact you were my top friend and now your not - let me go fix that!
have a great day and listen to yourself some Giant Drag/Dirty girls boys by Dirty Harry/ Robots in Disguise and someone pelase tell me the deal with Animal Collective? im afraid im a tard and i am missing that.
xxxx Giant Dirty Courtneyxxxxx
nam myoho renge kyo
dear shoten zenjin!
please have her intern this year in London!It's where i want to call home. and yes i love the W Village and thats a no brainer and please let me not overspend and save 1 dolar for every 2 i spend and please help me refrain from pruchasing things i do not need in any way( except Fortuny Gowns wich you maybe get one chance in life for) Please stop the WGA, AFTER the Oscars so hee hee next year MY film and the film i produce can get m aybe ...liuttle prizes! pleease take care of TS's health and let me assert my power and be the Boss and Alpha and Omega that i actually technically AM and demand what the film NEEDS- no i take that back for the Oscars- that was mean. for whomever gets nominated- Please give me the strength to read the script ive waited for for 9 YEARS to send to the eagerly waiting director so i can get out of actor jail, and please let me flow with my fantastic band mates and let them all achieve everything they want from this life an keep ML sober. and God bless my real friends and lover and all in between and even my "enemies"those who have deliberatley harmed me and my family - let them see the error of their ways and just stop with the trying to hide the money trail. Also Bless HW ....RC and DGand AN all who dont like it when i blog but who i love and trust. and again i need T. on this film and let me move aside with the sheer force of mi position the people who are being sexist and blocking me from this strong and brilliant Warrior Goddess who i aspire to live somehwat like - Bless BM, En,CC BR and SJ , DBand GKPM andher family, STW and JJ and thier child,V and LB LS and HM and LP and lets me and Lauren have lunch this week and me and BS have a prodcutive dinner tonight and let me chant for FIVE straight hours today! bless NF and Willy and DDand RB and everyone i like love and even dont like and Blake and KO and Mairead and Alan and Panos! and Bernadene and Arianne and Rick and Marc and Jason and Jason and Ricadro and David and EJ and Carrie and JR and Jane- i am so lucky to have so many people i love ! and LisaM and Lisa L and OB and DAVID and DAVID and DAVID.Also i need to speak to M. so please make that a positive expirience for both of us since there shouldnt be any negativity there and also MG who i hope calls me this week,
p[lease bring them all so much happiness. so much serenity , please teach them wisdon and human revolution those who need it and the ability to understand the power of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
the dirtier the swamp the more pure the lotus./make yourself strong and great and epic - be the person who when you leav ethe room people say " s/he is so compassionate and strong" because you out others before yourself. and because whatever pain youve gone through- you wear it well and with dignity.
DIGNITY.
hes fallen off the radar - when i hear of his endless drug taking and partying i get really sad- in fact that phrase "partying" always makes me sad- partying is maybe some people on the beach drinking beers and maybe smoking a little- "partying" is not some desperate days in a hotel room with people coming and going and desperate pathetic amounts of ingesting narcotics.and scary sweaty porno sex.
In my life Sobriety comes first as does Spiritulaity- and the one thing that fucks up people's perception of me seems to come solely from me "blogging" and misspelling.
So ill focus more on that because i really dont like anyone questioning my Sobriety.
Wich, speaking of, Pinsky is a GREAT doctor and a friend of mine- we have similiar idea of sobriety- what it is and what it is not, but i object to being the last shot leading up to the credits of his reality show the "celebrity" rehab one. I know hes doing it for the right reasons, buut iam not the latest or the greatest to be strapped to a guerney and my situation was very very differnt than other peoples- not my addiction- we are all the same in that context- us addic ts- noone is any more special that anyone else- but i WAS literally driven mad by a cabal of people embezzling and embezzling a forging and embezzling VAST amounts of money- from my banker and his felon boyfriend to my own "boyfriend" wich was just a suicide ride to hell. and in that picture i am genuinly terrified, noone had been in so much trouble yet, it wasnt common like it is a mere 4 years later, and that reminder of my terror is not what i want you to see or me to have to see- i am trying in that moment to figure out how the hell the BHPD have "lost" the prescriptions I've provided them with, this prism of Parade magazine bullshit perception really makes me pissy. I've been sober a long time for me- lnger than i ever have and i work in it DAILY- and i know until i drop a CD nothing is changing in terms of perception, but i could have dropped a CD months ago if i felt it was finished. Playing those shows was a great thing todo for my idea of this record, arrangements etc, but it leaves me witha quandry - i have to live and love in "the dark" for another few months, and its just the way it is.
i can look amazing, i can work the couture all day long , i can rock the Fortuny and be flAwless and im still going to be "skanky" , but I know it ends , and my skin is pretty thick about somethings like the illegitmate media, i really couldnt give a rat's ass about what they say or what photo they use- they could be attacking anyone the same way- Kidman could walk a carpet and if she were in my shoes no matter how flawless she had worked it- theyd contextualise it as stupid or find some "skanky " flaw- noone is perfect and noone never has a zit , noone, iknow everyone and am friends with most everyone i do know=-so bring it.
For now.
Well see how this all ends, its a happy ending story for me no matter what.
I am working on MY self esteem and i have a purpose on this earth- I want you all to get your credit scores from the credit bureaus and look at them. and study them as 9 out of 10 of you are currently being id fruaded i just happened to have it happen to me from my own suicide slide to hell my own useless sleazebag "boyfriend" whatever the hell that really means anymore- he's a grotesque chapter in my life one i ruefully and utterly regret. Healtha nd Abundance are easy-
budgets are hard but i am learning how to live within a real budget because renting is not my idea of a good time- and i saved up for that Fortuny.
There arent many of them , thi smakes me by the way a "Serious Collector" now-= i am also looking at an old House of Worth piece amongst others, if youve peeked at the site you know the colour- also look at the "Tophatshop" they dont quite give the prices i imgaine they are not cheap- but an old - Peta be dammed for A moment- beaverskin/silk or rabbutfur/wool tophat worn and frayed- I can reallythink of nothing cooler presently- the D and L apocothery guy wears one and i went nuts on all his little trinkets for my teenage childs Christmas- the poisonous rare botanicals he uses , theblack plates with the seven deadlies on them, the lacquere3d tray with the mother of pearl skull in the middle and i dont even like skulls, bit this one is insane. the sterling Thorn Apple candle container, the beuatifully carved black box that holds the creamiest thickest vellum note paper in an Ecru with a small black plume embossed on it, ahh, i have always loved the most expensive thing in the shop, even when i had no context of what cost whati always wanted the prettiest most well made item- and thats always turned out to be the costliest- so its hard to reign it in - especially my florals, wich are killing my budget, but orchids wich used to be in Seattle, a great love of mine and Banzais, wich still are- last a long time if you care for them properly-=
OKAY STOP THE PRESSES- THERES A THING IN THE CURRENT CHANNEL ABOUT "CROTCH STRANGLERS" HOW THE HELL DID I JUST RECOGNISE JOHNNY BURRELL, NOEL FIELDING AND RUSSELL ( BRAND) BY THEIR CROTCH SHOTS? THATS SCARY! MAYBE I CHECK OUT PACKAGES MOR ETHAN I THINK I DO!COS THESE ARE JUST FRIENDS OF MINE- RUSSELL HAS A TOALLY RECONISABLE ASS AND NOEL DOES TOO, I SUPPOSE BURRELLS A CHEAT AS IT WAS OBVIOUSLY APERFORMER IN WHITE PANTS- AND THE ONE NIGHT WE ACTUALLY TALKED ( I WAS SORT OF AN ASS TO HIM BY MISTAKE AND HES A REALLY SWEET BOY AND I CERTAINLY DIDNT M,EAN TO BE MEAN OR COME OFF MEAN) AND HUNG OUTI DONT RECLAL CHECKING HIS PACKAGE WHATSOVER... AND I ADORE HIS BROTHER WILLY BURRELL- HE MAKES ME LAUGH TIL I CRY, AND I HAVENT GHEARD FROM NOEL IN WEEKS, OVER A MONTH AND I MISS HIM DRAMATICALLY NOR HAVE I HEARD FROM DEEDEE- AND I LOVE THEM- IF YOUR OUT THERE- [[[[[[[[iframe]]]]]]]]D YOUR DRAWINGS OF THE DOGS AND GAVE THEM TO FRANNY FOR CHRISTMAS KEEPING PRINCESS FOR MYSELF- YOUR ARE BOTH GENIUSES ANDS I LOVE YOU BOTH!
Go check oiut Robots In Disguise- Dee wrote maybe ( with Noel a bit ) the greatest rock song ive heard in years. Please nail that song Dee- it took everything i had to try and forget it- but its the ctahiest motherfucking song ive heard in a million years!
anyway bah humbug to earthly desires - i just have a great love for the well designed and the well made- wether niavely or expertly. Im looking at Japanese Modern - wich removes clutter instantly- id like a Malibu home wich has that vibe and London and Franny can have her West Village house- but to do so- i need to create and save and read and accum,alate and smother myself in detail. But I have to have London first im only happy there- in la i just work and work and work and im exhausted, i dont go out i just work.
okay well i have a few things to do and to think about.
my mood board is looking crazy good- ive become quiote obsessed with the "Golden Lotus Glide:" aka Foot Binding and the little three inch shoes these Chinese women would embroider-
for thousands of years, i believe, Chinese mothers or Grandmothers would wait until a child was 6 or 7 - take silk strips and soak them in animals blood and herbs and break all the toes on a girls feet wrap the feet and bind them - 2 days later do it again and keep going until the feet and toes were entirely deformed- since this began with concubines in gilded palaces that was one thing- but it went to all classes so women would literally be crawling in the fields because they could not walk- and thier husbands could never see these feet wich are scarya s hell to look at - ive been hanging the images up on my board, of the little Lotus feet- THREE INCHES was the golden mean by wich your foot was measured- woe betide you if your foot was bigger-
I look at my own fat little feet and wonder what the hell i would have done with such a nightmare-
also the husbands never saw the actual feet just the tiny slipper- Google Foot Binding an dtake a peek if you can. and then look at what Corsets did to our insides for also 100s and 100s of years- our foremothers mustve been on a whole LOT of opiates- Laudenum and Morphine mixtures an dnoone hears about our mothers sides - we hear of whom was an alchoholic in our families but what about those of us with a taste for other things? when you see the corsetry that went on- you wonder what the hell we were thinking putting our spleens and livers through such nonsense to achieve a huge bustled ass and a tiny waist and a different bustline every generation.
ill take a Fortuny any day-
since the Couture is coming im wondering wether i should get down to that teeny weight again, i think i should so i can wear this Fortuny with great pride and if it means i have to cut back ona couple of Ensures and do alot more exercise-= to get to 120- just for that week or so- maybe i shall- i likemyself right here at 135- im so not interested in ever being 155 again although i loved myself and my body at that weight i love sample sizes more.
Well see, im quite conflicted about it- the parade of Russians im going to see willbe fucked in thier thymuses and pituataries and thyroids in a way thats only genetic and n ot to do with any eating disorder- i just wonder why Russia? what part? they make not muc h money walking in shows, the end game is a campaign, Theres a new model P{etra i think? shes got the most amazing face i think ive ever seen- Kate will always hold a special place ;
for us having a slumber party years ago and waking up and being agog at her sleeping face- that girl is a Great Great Beauty obviously- i am friends with quite a few and i dont notice their external beauty except sometimes a certain light will catch and ill be breathless at what god gave them to work with.
My favourite scenarious wich sound cliched as hell tho are when someone ( Like Gwyneth) is equally beuatiful on the inside if not more so than on the outside wich is substantial or when someone one might consider a little chubby or not quite pretty who has so much steely confidence and unlimited self esteem whose happiness is rooted so deeply that theyre confidence and inner beauty overcomes how "non photgenic" they may be- they rise to the beauty of any externally beautiful person ever.
I jiust did a massive shoota nd i caved and let my daughter do one - mine was for a small very very Fashionista magazine - my kids was for a massive Beauty Bible and is a huge piece. shes so beautiful and we shall see in the next few months , iwas sad to hear it was not Peter Lindbergh who shot her and i want to know who shot her-and i still havent been answered but Monday i will be.
I heard it was Lindbergh- and had total confidence- it is my job to protect her 100%, so im a bit pissy to hear who this was. as i was not "allowed" on the set- cos shes 15 and no 15 year old wants thier mom to see them grow thier little wings. Shes breathlessly beautiful - whatever was awkward last year is gone gone gone, and shes just EPIC , and so kind and so lovely, and such a good person , despite Mommy going kookoo bananas over the money thing and the drugs and despite Daddy being a .......problem .....a hole...andd espite all her money being stolen once, i am rebuilding that issue and those people will pay pay and pay cos Karma and the Law catches up to everyone no matter how hard you run.
For those of you who like to ponder my "krazy" postings- i put alot of essential information in them as fucked up as i was- there were things i was writing straight off paper accounts and faKE names and banks etc- ive found one- you may be quite amused at my life c ondition atthe time wich i think is pretty sick- but i thank god for you- could you please foreward to Jason T thos eposts ? I really need them- all. i have only been able to collect a few- and they are helping my team alot= I know they read Koo Koo but i need them so foreward them here please, i could not make calls or send emails or send faxes as all were being diverted- so i posted- and thank god i posted- i couldnt remember all of that no matter how high an iq i may or may not have- memory retention is not endless - especially unde rthose conditions and weve come to understand just how much money was involved it makes perfect sense they had a Guerilla motherfucker terrorising me, wow its mindblowing- and most of it is Frances's money they stole.
I do not like quibbling with sexist men about the difference between 62 or 69 forged accounts- and i will not tolerate it an ymore- i am stepping into the light and im taking some very powerful women and some very very high net worth men with me who have gathered to support me and its a miracoulous thing and im very happy with the gifts of this universe and with the human kindness of people whove been brought to me by the Divine Dirty Harry i am mor ethan thankful for them- sexiness is defined to me by kindness. By no strings attached. By the factt hat the middle NEVER does right by me but the TOP always does and so fuck the middle.
No actually i hold no grudges if your in the middle your just a mediocre lemming by nature and youll behave the proper way as you are directed wich makes you - mediocre in all that you do- to not jump on a crusade to help a CHILD or a WOMAN when your a man with some great power is DISGUSTING- but other men will make you do your job and i have them in spades- Spirit. The Shoten Zenjin ALWAYS come through!
SoundtraCK of my day Giant Drag. i LOVE her- i just watched her "tastemakers and secondary markets" and i fell on the floor laughing- Annie YOU RULE! i love love love your attitude! your hystericaL and aware of the game - dont let anyone fuck with your purity- Mica aND ANNIE YOUR MY INSPIRATION DU JOUR!
"First the tastemakers, then the secondary markets, then FuckingNOTHING but unit movage bro"
your a genius!
"Even crappy bands inspire you not to SUCK"
honey you are a QUEEN!
and you so dont suck!
love myself those Giant Drag kids and love your nice fat Gibson /Marshall tone. good for you you Goddess! First girl thats caught my eye playing Rock in a LOOOOOONNNNNGGGG time i have time to investigate....in fact you were my top friend and now your not - let me go fix that!
have a great day and listen to yourself some Giant Drag/Dirty girls boys by Dirty Harry/ Robots in Disguise and someone pelase tell me the deal with Animal Collective? im afraid im a tard and i am missing that.
xxxx Giant Dirty Courtneyxxxxx
nam myoho renge kyo
dear shoten zenjin!
please have her intern this year in London!It's where i want to call home. and yes i love the W Village and thats a no brainer and please let me not overspend and save 1 dolar for every 2 i spend and please help me refrain from pruchasing things i do not need in any way( except Fortuny Gowns wich you maybe get one chance in life for) Please stop the WGA, AFTER the Oscars so hee hee next year MY film and the film i produce can get m aybe ...liuttle prizes! pleease take care of TS's health and let me assert my power and be the Boss and Alpha and Omega that i actually technically AM and demand what the film NEEDS- no i take that back for the Oscars- that was mean. for whomever gets nominated- Please give me the strength to read the script ive waited for for 9 YEARS to send to the eagerly waiting director so i can get out of actor jail, and please let me flow with my fantastic band mates and let them all achieve everything they want from this life an keep ML sober. and God bless my real friends and lover and all in between and even my "enemies"those who have deliberatley harmed me and my family - let them see the error of their ways and just stop with the trying to hide the money trail. Also Bless HW ....RC and DGand AN all who dont like it when i blog but who i love and trust. and again i need T. on this film and let me move aside with the sheer force of mi position the people who are being sexist and blocking me from this strong and brilliant Warrior Goddess who i aspire to live somehwat like - Bless BM, En,CC BR and SJ , DBand GKPM andher family, STW and JJ and thier child,V and LB LS and HM and LP and lets me and Lauren have lunch this week and me and BS have a prodcutive dinner tonight and let me chant for FIVE straight hours today! bless NF and Willy and DDand RB and everyone i like love and even dont like and Blake and KO and Mairead and Alan and Panos! and Bernadene and Arianne and Rick and Marc and Jason and Jason and Ricadro and David and EJ and Carrie and JR and Jane- i am so lucky to have so many people i love ! and LisaM and Lisa L and OB and DAVID and DAVID and DAVID.Also i need to speak to M. so please make that a positive expirience for both of us since there shouldnt be any negativity there and also MG who i hope calls me this week,
p[lease bring them all so much happiness. so much serenity , please teach them wisdon and human revolution those who need it and the ability to understand the power of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
the dirtier the swamp the more pure the lotus./make yourself strong and great and epic - be the person who when you leav ethe room people say " s/he is so compassionate and strong" because you out others before yourself. and because whatever pain youve gone through- you wear it well and with dignity.
DIGNITY.
Friday, January 11, 2008
oh damm just say yes
i HAD to get it!
HAD to!
i am now the proud owner of mint Fortuny gown........im not spoiling anything by spilling h colour and i got my husband some fantastical Victorian capes and a silk top hat, my husband Panos that is......... its worth it........for a treat for your eyes go to www.vintagetextile.com not textile's TEXTILE and learn.
your all crazy beuatiful jewels in the firmanent of the universe.
pay it foreward , gonna chant with Dirty.
Thank God for kind people and even the most evil have a Buddha in them
HAD to!
i am now the proud owner of mint Fortuny gown........im not spoiling anything by spilling h colour and i got my husband some fantastical Victorian capes and a silk top hat, my husband Panos that is......... its worth it........for a treat for your eyes go to www.vintagetextile.com not textile's TEXTILE and learn.
your all crazy beuatiful jewels in the firmanent of the universe.
pay it foreward , gonna chant with Dirty.
Thank God for kind people and even the most evil have a Buddha in them
Thursday, January 10, 2008
the reason why the forums are closed at cl.com
im going to take this site cl.com down tomorrow, sorry, of all the moderators i though Jude was the good one - then i get sentt hese Ims ( you ALL tell on each other and i see ALL the im sessions you know that right?)
its bullshit.
i told you guys to knok it off this is MY site not YOURS, and i dont expected to be talked shit about on MY site- you know where you can go, for the nest few weeks its up = its only up cos my counsel has been extremely slow due to other real life matters- but ive hired my former counsel of 9 years and shes a terrier- a fucking pitbull and =she was VERY unthrilled by this bullshit on that site and on this, so dowwwwwn we go have fun tonight cos well get new mods and itll be a far better environment.
im vastly dissapointed in you Jude- i always thought"thats one girl id have over and not worry about freaking out on me"
well i no longer think that.
trolls a troll and if im wrong explain these ims to me.
Courtney Love
its bullshit.
i told you guys to knok it off this is MY site not YOURS, and i dont expected to be talked shit about on MY site- you know where you can go, for the nest few weeks its up = its only up cos my counsel has been extremely slow due to other real life matters- but ive hired my former counsel of 9 years and shes a terrier- a fucking pitbull and =she was VERY unthrilled by this bullshit on that site and on this, so dowwwwwn we go have fun tonight cos well get new mods and itll be a far better environment.
im vastly dissapointed in you Jude- i always thought"thats one girl id have over and not worry about freaking out on me"
well i no longer think that.
trolls a troll and if im wrong explain these ims to me.
Courtney Love
hey kids
i dont know WHAT was going on at my .com but its wierd My Space is far safer and im far happier with my guys here- i really think theyre senistive to what im into and what im doing when they design the space - no its not some multi million dollar site but that will come later- im very very happy with the job theyre doing on my space presently these ar epeople who have my real home number and who can drop by anytime. So whats the difference between that and my wariness at people in .com land? im having lunch wih one o fmy my space friends this week at the Chat and im letting one of my designers stay at my house with absouloutle zero compunction, i dont know whatthis drama has been about but i just wanted to defend superman and jason t, iadore them both, and i met them thru other channels in this life- lets just stay here in MY Space land nice and safe until theres a better qaulity of understanding of the vision i have for this record. and its a very very clear vision, clearer than Celeb Skin and Clearer than Live throiugh this i was just ina hazeon the disastre,
but we all have ups and downs, mine are just particularly dramatic.
im as usual very interested lately in colour, the fanatstical interview with the NYTimes perfume reviewer on one of the scentapalooza bloggers did=- i started at INdieperfumes.com and it was fantastic.
i had a whole week of printing out fantastic essay after fantastic essay - not just on perfume but i f eel people into perfume also tend to be into life and design -
- lately othe rthan my local Rodarte girls my VERY favourite designers on EARTH are 3 as 4 . DAMM!That fall collection , i found a skirt at Collette that made me crazy then i went on the site and the fall collectio was MINDBLOWINGLY great-= iwant them to make me everything for stage! other than my already genius husband/lifepartner/designer....Panos....have any of you seen SEEN his vision? his editorial work? INtrepidLondon.com look at his editorial! look what he di d with Gisele Bunchen! hes a GENIUS! i am the LUCKIEST girl in the world! ive made a room for Panos upstairs with fantastical hand blocked William Morris wallpaper( I almost got the Lee Jofa black velevet paisley on black) but i went for of al things to go with the insanely beautiful ebony 17th century blaCK bed he picke dout for me ( really him as im building him his own wing!) in Chelsea! i went for GREEN and its got GOLD on top, and its sounds horrific- but i saw this wallpaper vibe in Ms Mosses former Kitchen and it was Osbourne and Little , when i got home i found
a sample of almost the exact same wallpaper i was opbsessed with years ago but i never instated- ( wallpaper is not too expensive) now thAt id seen it in a room i was blown away - painting the bathroom this amaZing blood red rasberry i found
Red is so hard- and putting black and whites ( photos) up in there- mostly of people i know or knew , as theyre rock n roll photos and rather dramatic but its sounding christmasy, its NOT , the green is a teal /aqua /turquoise and the gold is perfection with this view- my daughter vacated this room for a red room in the guest wing and so i had this empty canvas upsatirs to play with- an dthis crazy bed coming in from the UK, oh man this bed is the greatest bed in history you have to get to it on steps! im also listening to wierd little thinsg fiest and animal collective wich i dont quite get and a girl ummm,,,sachs...i forget shes on the animal collective label.....and something caked the Pandas and im having a Verve moment ( if you wantt osee Liam our fucking great rythym guitar player go to Burberry.com and watch the Testino ad, hes so delicious! and fun and we miss him! They just keep paying him to model and hes doing it for now cos hes not yet on salary- but i have come to Rescue Him! hes so great and so dignified and a wonderful kid-= we want hima round for his talent and sheer balance and his lovely wit and fantastical character.....wheres Liam! I miss him~ hes a God! He makes the action of playing fun and is the secret of this band!)
but i wont drop an album i am not yet comfortable with- im not goofing off and getting nuerotic aboput whatever i try to write - im ina real band and i want that to really come through- so im sorry...
im stilll iving in as i call it "the dark"....
beacuse the last strong images of me are of me as some crazed individual for wich the plot will someday be revealed- in fact sooner than later- But until theres a record theres nothing i can do about that- i came in LAST In Parades list of celebs to stay sober yet ive been sober for YEARS and longer than anyone on that list! it shows yo uhow America thinks i really get annoyed with the prism of Parade but thats the great USA!!!!!!
headto Dirty Harrys site- shes a wonderful girl who introduced me to all of London seven years ago why Im friends with Lisa M, )( im looking for you on my friends list Moorish and i cannot find you! i love you and hope your well and ill be home soon - FB is going to.... fingers crossed...... intern at the local you know what this summer) and Mairead because of her...wait Mairead i just met on e night....anyway i adore this girl- shes a Buddhist and shes Sober- CHRIST! Finally a girlfriend who has the same interests as me right here in Beverly Hills, am, SO greatful to have another Buddhist and a real inspiration to me for the work shes done on herself- its a radical change and im more than a little impressed at the great causes and karma shes making in her life total human revolution- she reminds m e alot of Gwyneth ins ome ways- justa really beautiful person inside and out=who sees other people before herself yet has a Rockstar presence a mile wide and sparkles!
i shut the .com down til sparkart comes and really gets it and theres zero moderator drama-in.. my life= wich is really full and super super busy and full of the ten worlds from a great night getting Rolfed and making Pallettes for my "Mood Board" IM GOING TO DO AN ASPIRATION board, just put stuff i want in my life images of beauty and serenity and abundance and nurturing that make me feel better- speaking of feeling better- yummy sephora delivery! and AMAZING Givenchy delivery- i cant wait for the Couture again- i cannot believe its been a year and my second Couture ever,,,and i still have no record for y 'all, but its NOT MY SCHEDULE, reflected in the delivery of this record im not BLAMING anyone - everyone has a life butthe long "overdue" Courtney Love record is about other peoples schedules and being at the mercy of other people to some extent wich is a compromise i will NOT make in this or any life- i have no negativity for anyone - but ive just been put through a maelstrom in my personal life- a fucking hurricane- that i tend to be very very discreet about- NOTHING bothers me more than my personal life being examined by other people- the mere IDEA of my email being violated by a cyber friend gives me fucking shivers - beyond that account i have other accounts this person didnt get to thank GOD_ and the things - the upheaval going on in my REAL life are not public or for sale- real life changing moves - health, wealth, marriage., divorce, children, death, taxes, music, sex, i have chosen to use another account for most of these topics- thank the LORD, i suggest you all make sure your deeply personal feelings about things - no matter how triumphant or pathetic no matter how devestated or obsessive you feel be put in longhand in a JOURNAL, as i feel so raped i cant even put it into words- but darling on with the show=
MD Skincare makes a great litttle 1 and 2 exfoliating pads- and im stil obsessed with Luzerns products and i jsut got my CBIHATEPEFUME along with a lovely letter from the fantastic nose./perfumier Christopher , Hes from the Old School like most of me is- and he works with his hands and his heart and his nose and he sent me one i didnt ask for - i have "First Snow" and "Burning Leaves" and " MY BIrthday cake" THE BEST VANILLAN/SWEET ive ever ever smelled ( I have the Visionare fantastical box of smells of electrictity . wet. milk, violence . etc im pretty obsessed with it) and he sent me one that really surprised me called :"Cradle of Light" wich iw ore when i shot with Terry Richardson the other night- its a little Norma Desmond, theres shots of me on the bed with this big ebay p[ile of crazy old press, my god !!!!!!
someone got it off ebay and it spans so many ups and downs, i didnt have any of my press in my house- good or bad- and iw anted at least a chronology of things and so theres this massive package that arrives- some kids over me and selling his shit on ebay and then we went into my closet - the fantastical Sharon Gault did my makeup and Johnm Frances lopped off my hair into a bob again but short bangs- i just wore my new fantastic vinatge and Terry was fun and we had a fun night, also i am ordering some of this ChristineJBrandt.com jewelry its so huge and oversized and goes so well with Ricardos aesthetic- as much as i may love other designers im loyal only to my Ricardo Tosci! *( well eceptions must be made for MJ and Rick and Lagerfeld)
anyway i finally bought for the 1st time ever ( wich is wierd for a Dylanolgist- wich i consider myself) my first Dylan songbook.
so im gonna end my dammed "blog" and play guitar, just know that ill drop this when its done and not a moment sooner- this is too important - noone can call me prolific- but noone can tell me that Sober.......i dont have pretty dammed good taste.
even exquisite, even painfully perfectionistist ( eg i like and want flaws) ( loads and loads of them and painful vulnerability and presence and im too much ......my LifeForce is MY OWN, for whatever reason i dont have the flexibility to fold and bend like an origami im just not that human being or that woman, and Milos sent me the most amazing present and for some reason theres the script oive waited NINE years for and its sitting right HERE and i cant read it for some reason- afriad of falling in love i thinkbeing in love scares the holy shit out of me as you can understand...or not ,.....biut never stop believing in it cos Love is omnipresentand everywhere and always)
LIfe is a Miracle- Nurture yourself and the people you love dont get lost or disconnected no matter what= consider yourself an oak tree with so many deep roots and the eight winds cannot bend you , no matter what the poisons or toxins or tattered , shattered shit comes at you from wounded crippled people- think of lilacs and Daphne ( if youve had the pleasure of smelling it that one or two weeks a year it fills the Oregonian air) im off to play guitar til i fall asleep i feel a song coming on.
love you all,
CourtXXXX
but we all have ups and downs, mine are just particularly dramatic.
im as usual very interested lately in colour, the fanatstical interview with the NYTimes perfume reviewer on one of the scentapalooza bloggers did=- i started at INdieperfumes.com and it was fantastic.
i had a whole week of printing out fantastic essay after fantastic essay - not just on perfume but i f eel people into perfume also tend to be into life and design -
- lately othe rthan my local Rodarte girls my VERY favourite designers on EARTH are 3 as 4 . DAMM!That fall collection , i found a skirt at Collette that made me crazy then i went on the site and the fall collectio was MINDBLOWINGLY great-= iwant them to make me everything for stage! other than my already genius husband/lifepartner/designer....Panos....have any of you seen SEEN his vision? his editorial work? INtrepidLondon.com look at his editorial! look what he di d with Gisele Bunchen! hes a GENIUS! i am the LUCKIEST girl in the world! ive made a room for Panos upstairs with fantastical hand blocked William Morris wallpaper( I almost got the Lee Jofa black velevet paisley on black) but i went for of al things to go with the insanely beautiful ebony 17th century blaCK bed he picke dout for me ( really him as im building him his own wing!) in Chelsea! i went for GREEN and its got GOLD on top, and its sounds horrific- but i saw this wallpaper vibe in Ms Mosses former Kitchen and it was Osbourne and Little , when i got home i found
a sample of almost the exact same wallpaper i was opbsessed with years ago but i never instated- ( wallpaper is not too expensive) now thAt id seen it in a room i was blown away - painting the bathroom this amaZing blood red rasberry i found
Red is so hard- and putting black and whites ( photos) up in there- mostly of people i know or knew , as theyre rock n roll photos and rather dramatic but its sounding christmasy, its NOT , the green is a teal /aqua /turquoise and the gold is perfection with this view- my daughter vacated this room for a red room in the guest wing and so i had this empty canvas upsatirs to play with- an dthis crazy bed coming in from the UK, oh man this bed is the greatest bed in history you have to get to it on steps! im also listening to wierd little thinsg fiest and animal collective wich i dont quite get and a girl ummm,,,sachs...i forget shes on the animal collective label.....and something caked the Pandas and im having a Verve moment ( if you wantt osee Liam our fucking great rythym guitar player go to Burberry.com and watch the Testino ad, hes so delicious! and fun and we miss him! They just keep paying him to model and hes doing it for now cos hes not yet on salary- but i have come to Rescue Him! hes so great and so dignified and a wonderful kid-= we want hima round for his talent and sheer balance and his lovely wit and fantastical character.....wheres Liam! I miss him~ hes a God! He makes the action of playing fun and is the secret of this band!)
but i wont drop an album i am not yet comfortable with- im not goofing off and getting nuerotic aboput whatever i try to write - im ina real band and i want that to really come through- so im sorry...
im stilll iving in as i call it "the dark"....
beacuse the last strong images of me are of me as some crazed individual for wich the plot will someday be revealed- in fact sooner than later- But until theres a record theres nothing i can do about that- i came in LAST In Parades list of celebs to stay sober yet ive been sober for YEARS and longer than anyone on that list! it shows yo uhow America thinks i really get annoyed with the prism of Parade but thats the great USA!!!!!!
headto Dirty Harrys site- shes a wonderful girl who introduced me to all of London seven years ago why Im friends with Lisa M, )( im looking for you on my friends list Moorish and i cannot find you! i love you and hope your well and ill be home soon - FB is going to.... fingers crossed...... intern at the local you know what this summer) and Mairead because of her...wait Mairead i just met on e night....anyway i adore this girl- shes a Buddhist and shes Sober- CHRIST! Finally a girlfriend who has the same interests as me right here in Beverly Hills, am, SO greatful to have another Buddhist and a real inspiration to me for the work shes done on herself- its a radical change and im more than a little impressed at the great causes and karma shes making in her life total human revolution- she reminds m e alot of Gwyneth ins ome ways- justa really beautiful person inside and out=who sees other people before herself yet has a Rockstar presence a mile wide and sparkles!
i shut the .com down til sparkart comes and really gets it and theres zero moderator drama-in.. my life= wich is really full and super super busy and full of the ten worlds from a great night getting Rolfed and making Pallettes for my "Mood Board" IM GOING TO DO AN ASPIRATION board, just put stuff i want in my life images of beauty and serenity and abundance and nurturing that make me feel better- speaking of feeling better- yummy sephora delivery! and AMAZING Givenchy delivery- i cant wait for the Couture again- i cannot believe its been a year and my second Couture ever,,,and i still have no record for y 'all, but its NOT MY SCHEDULE, reflected in the delivery of this record im not BLAMING anyone - everyone has a life butthe long "overdue" Courtney Love record is about other peoples schedules and being at the mercy of other people to some extent wich is a compromise i will NOT make in this or any life- i have no negativity for anyone - but ive just been put through a maelstrom in my personal life- a fucking hurricane- that i tend to be very very discreet about- NOTHING bothers me more than my personal life being examined by other people- the mere IDEA of my email being violated by a cyber friend gives me fucking shivers - beyond that account i have other accounts this person didnt get to thank GOD_ and the things - the upheaval going on in my REAL life are not public or for sale- real life changing moves - health, wealth, marriage., divorce, children, death, taxes, music, sex, i have chosen to use another account for most of these topics- thank the LORD, i suggest you all make sure your deeply personal feelings about things - no matter how triumphant or pathetic no matter how devestated or obsessive you feel be put in longhand in a JOURNAL, as i feel so raped i cant even put it into words- but darling on with the show=
MD Skincare makes a great litttle 1 and 2 exfoliating pads- and im stil obsessed with Luzerns products and i jsut got my CBIHATEPEFUME along with a lovely letter from the fantastic nose./perfumier Christopher , Hes from the Old School like most of me is- and he works with his hands and his heart and his nose and he sent me one i didnt ask for - i have "First Snow" and "Burning Leaves" and " MY BIrthday cake" THE BEST VANILLAN/SWEET ive ever ever smelled ( I have the Visionare fantastical box of smells of electrictity . wet. milk, violence . etc im pretty obsessed with it) and he sent me one that really surprised me called :"Cradle of Light" wich iw ore when i shot with Terry Richardson the other night- its a little Norma Desmond, theres shots of me on the bed with this big ebay p[ile of crazy old press, my god !!!!!!
someone got it off ebay and it spans so many ups and downs, i didnt have any of my press in my house- good or bad- and iw anted at least a chronology of things and so theres this massive package that arrives- some kids over me and selling his shit on ebay and then we went into my closet - the fantastical Sharon Gault did my makeup and Johnm Frances lopped off my hair into a bob again but short bangs- i just wore my new fantastic vinatge and Terry was fun and we had a fun night, also i am ordering some of this ChristineJBrandt.com jewelry its so huge and oversized and goes so well with Ricardos aesthetic- as much as i may love other designers im loyal only to my Ricardo Tosci! *( well eceptions must be made for MJ and Rick and Lagerfeld)
anyway i finally bought for the 1st time ever ( wich is wierd for a Dylanolgist- wich i consider myself) my first Dylan songbook.
so im gonna end my dammed "blog" and play guitar, just know that ill drop this when its done and not a moment sooner- this is too important - noone can call me prolific- but noone can tell me that Sober.......i dont have pretty dammed good taste.
even exquisite, even painfully perfectionistist ( eg i like and want flaws) ( loads and loads of them and painful vulnerability and presence and im too much ......my LifeForce is MY OWN, for whatever reason i dont have the flexibility to fold and bend like an origami im just not that human being or that woman, and Milos sent me the most amazing present and for some reason theres the script oive waited NINE years for and its sitting right HERE and i cant read it for some reason- afriad of falling in love i thinkbeing in love scares the holy shit out of me as you can understand...or not ,.....biut never stop believing in it cos Love is omnipresentand everywhere and always)
LIfe is a Miracle- Nurture yourself and the people you love dont get lost or disconnected no matter what= consider yourself an oak tree with so many deep roots and the eight winds cannot bend you , no matter what the poisons or toxins or tattered , shattered shit comes at you from wounded crippled people- think of lilacs and Daphne ( if youve had the pleasure of smelling it that one or two weeks a year it fills the Oregonian air) im off to play guitar til i fall asleep i feel a song coming on.
love you all,
CourtXXXX
Friday, January 4, 2008
nuthouse
man was that truly neccessary? Poor thing, i didnt need to see all that fecal matter on the walls but Thaliens at Cedars is obviously loads nicer than Bellevue- shes takingt far too much adderol, thats what ive heard and what appears to be the issue to me wich is by the way none of my fucking business.or ours.
I hope she gets a smoke soon, they dont let you smoke for 72 hours on a 5150, its blows for her, and i feel bad for her , really really bad for her- i came in as an outsiderso i didnt come in as a sweetheart, its slightly easier for me, i was never a good girl,l its still sucks ass, but oh whatever....nevermind.bless i hope people stop hurting on her.
xxc
I hope she gets a smoke soon, they dont let you smoke for 72 hours on a 5150, its blows for her, and i feel bad for her , really really bad for her- i came in as an outsiderso i didnt come in as a sweetheart, its slightly easier for me, i was never a good girl,l its still sucks ass, but oh whatever....nevermind.bless i hope people stop hurting on her.
xxc
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Duende
Duende is not transaltable to English- its a sort of Gypsy /Flamenco world word that is so hard to explain so i have found this for you for New Years as i feel if your here and your reading my blog in between records you are possibly no im sure. definetely prone to your Duende.....
Micheal Meade "Fear and Beauty In The Heart Of America"
Duende is anything that knows earth,that has black sounds, anything that has enough shadow and blue descending to black.
Pena Negra, the blacksounds that rise from the mystery of "the root fastened in the mire;the fertile soil that gives us the very substance of art" The mysterious sense of life wound around death speaking dark sounds into the ear of memory,whispering where the breathe of day gathers in the blind reccesses of the soul/
Duende is POWER, not simply work and not only thought, but a struggle with spirit in the blood. Not a question simply of talent given or skill learned, but an issue of genius entering life at the moment of birth, and continuing to whisper dark notes to the mind an dto the heart, More a matter of true living style, , of style written in the soul, and born anew each time the self is willing to die again"
can you relate-= that resonated very powerfully in me- through me, within the conceprt pf music this concept is married to that of sensuality, sexulaity, obsession, addiction, ego death, physical death, sexdeath,deathsex, celebration of the body and the heart, even how cool our hair has to be!
i found a polaroid someone kindly bought off ebay and sent to us- its pictures of Eric witha very young Drew- who as i was looking at West Village houses i got a new whiff of -= she needs to get over any guilt about the Godmother thing, She is family - hell she's told me that= and family has ups and downs- she has nothing to feel guilty about , shes still my Daisy, and Frannies, i know Frannyw as confused- well thats private stuff , but i love how Drew lives so simply-= shes gotten fancier now- she even got a- gasp- interior decorator!! but Drew has zero compunction about packing a backpack and wearing the same jeans and t shirt and Anthropologie jewelry and ive always loved her fresh simplicity- its lovely and i miss it- we have only hung out 3 time sthis year but are not in each others rythym- and i miss that.... staring at photos of pixie Drew with a daisy in her hair- my littel Pisces twin- shes just a few blocks away as is Edward and Stipe- and i think its a great idea to get the hell out of LA for awhile for various reasons- i dont work for a few months- i have alot to do in a few months and im reading all sorts of books on colour and and have a bed covered in the most luxe t shirt fabric- bamboo and pima cotton yep thats my new years date- Pantone Pallettes- iw ish i could scan im just too tired- melon.saffron and a vivid plum stripe, bright teal, navy and a chartruese acid green- is eem to be drawn to Roppongi at night pallettes that and candy pallettes- they had every sot of pallette "nigh life" "rich" " intellectual" "complicated" "cosmetica" "candy" "city life" "nostalgia" "health ( load sof blues) and i just went for Unique 1 - 2 AND 3! my Duende- my novelty seeking gene- i want to make thse t shirts with these textiles so badly-= a 10% silk 10% rayon 10% bamboo and 70% pima cotton ooooooh the luxury ,,,,i want ribbing and i want kids in jackson ville to feel that fabric as oppsoed to the dregs of the cotton business cast offs that the rock biz presents as
"creative" t shirts= iwant machine embroidery and a differnt shape on the arms and felt, burlap, and homesticthing with bugle beads all distressed- i really am rather obsessed with this-=
well i hope you had a great new years i talked to a friend weve been sniffing around for years and ia dore the guy hes one of the only actors i would say is not someones bitch in any way and theres now ay you can ignore his chops= hes one of the best actors in history an di love his values and we share so mcuh in common in terms of process and Duende- i love everything this guy does even when he rolls out the rare commerical film- i just love it- were just friends and i know he understands me and i undertsand him, than again, he directs so thats probably the explanation,
i will end on this Pablo Neruda poem
Sonnet XVII
( 100 Love Sonnetts 1960)
I dont love you as if you were the salt rose topaz or arrow
of carnations that propagate fire
i love you as certain dark things are loved
secretly between shadow and the soul
i love you as the plant that does not bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth
i love you without knowing how
or when, or from where,
I love you simply , without problems or pride,
I love you in this way because i dont know any other way of loving
(amen to that pablo)
but this in wich there is no I or You
so intimate that your hand upon my breast is my hand
so intimate that when i fall asleep it is your eyes that close.
ahhh,resolutions time - remember i made 53 last year i willreview and see what i have kept
the doormat thing i have had a struggle with, i feel as though there are people in my life who do love me but frivolously and recklessly and want me to be dependent and when i strike out for my independence they get upset- i dont like possevness even with caresses or with abuse= or manipulation-
i will never say a bad word about anyone to do with this record i love them all every musician on this record i have a deep seated love for - some eternal gratitide
i have to be free to be me and im not able to do what i insitinctevley know how to do - beisdes those files that were shared- i mean those were the basic skeletons unmixed but not exactly demos- just no comps and unmixed an dtheres absoulutly noway to do what i want now except to pick up and re arrange certain things and hope that id ont live in fear- i dont like fear and i dont like feeling small and i dont like feeling - i dont know worthless- and these things are just my reactions - but i am an empath and i feel all that is in my environment wich i am a 100 percent resposnible for - i just want outta this town for a while la rots the soul after too long yet its part of me and always will be- i just want London and New York a little more- and a malibu shack- that would make me really happy all done in japanese modern super simple tatami mats ikebana wichi can do myself futons really beautiful ones- yeah i want my beach house to loio out atthe dolphins far away from anyone and wash away my duende when it hurts- co shit does hurt as we all know - we are empaths most of us- misfits- freaks - geniuses- trouble makers- provactauers- the ones people give the most shit to- we are outcasted and we are proud of it.As well we should be. They dont lik ethat we think for oursleves and that we think of things first and that we wear and do what we want- it makes us "contriversial"
i dont know if im speaking for you all- i know when i reach inside my self i see limitelss self esteem thats grown from a tiny sprout to a small willow tree, but is not yet strings as an oak whose roots effect every other oak in the place-= you must give give give til it hurts give of your whole self- yes even if it involves a dammed t shirt idea- lets post resolutions tomorrow.
i found in the ebay pile 2 polaroids of me right after NIN and right befor e Larry Flynt i have black hair in these polaroids ( all i wanted for xm,as was 70 spolaroid film like warhol used to use i m waiting its supposed to be coming)
and i look rather cute its sort of my usual mullett slash bob, but the black makes it thicker than the blonde- and you always have to wear makeup= i dunno any suggestions for my hair- i do love this chloe sevigny off big love hair- its fabullous and very very hard to maintain. its a sort of dark reddish blonde and i think its fabulous maybe if i go dark i should go dark an dlong - black an dlong? is that too elvira? black and long like this with wave and curl? its for 18 months,
well you can change between videos.
oooooh im getting some candy for the videos= im so excited Swarovski here we come! ooh please say YES! i need you!
massive things- i think they are genuinly going to prove they can do magical rock and roll lighting thats as far away from Fashion Rocks UK wich had a sort of vegas vibe and out jumps IGGY! BETH DITTO! itwa sodd but i got an amazing ide a i have yet to sit with them but i think theyll be into it- i dunno ill post this picture tomorrow after i scan it and get some sleep and then i have to practice and write some songs aint nothin wrong with more an dmore songs- i realise im country - im far more country in the listening to Loretta and Tammy way than i let on as a small child-= and i always have a bit of a country ish Californioa aesthetic but so did Zeppelin 2 and 3 and 4 too- in any case i can only be true to myself as authentic to who i am and my vision cos in the end its me who has to know in my heart what is right-
i dont wanna discuss much mor ei fthat like i said i adore every single person thats worked on this they defintely worked their asses off,
anway im very excited about the site coming back up with Nirvana too and Kurt to oan dthe film too and princ ess ai too and certain sites going down- itll be a relief let them gather and hate on me anywhere but my site!
i so dont care or notic ebut not on my name oh yay- my lawyer of 11 years has the signed employement contract! wich shows up that former employee as a total perjuror- of cours e id like to discuss with the present moderators on my site the massive amount of responsibility they will have and what i saw on those 11 moderators IM s- just becaus ei dont post there ive tried its dull as dirt an dnewbies looking to join tell me over an dover they are shove doff- noone responds when i answer a question etc well when revamoped it will be my vision it was thrown up to gather ticket requests....
its just my world there will be merchandise up and its ells massively already so i will differenatiate the merch and make it lovely and new and fabulous,
i feel so violated by the stolen 5 am emails to myself- me im a rules girl- i may seem desparate at 4.5 am but i never ever send something like that and it hurts me to no end that this kid i believed in and wa s fond of breaking into my email account for years.
well thats just wrong, I think we can all agree and sending my most vulnerable not for display private self that i share with NOONE no man no people snickering ove r my diary entries deep emotional lying and deep emotional truths that are meant to be discussions between me and me and my pathetoic self an dmy strong self- i am so flipped that someone i trusted would do this to me - well, ill really have to think long and hard about moderators
i also got a good vibe of :?the Jude: if shes still around an di will discuss with Juliet in fact Juliet can call me- and assert herself and tell me what it is i c an do to help her or if she really d oesnt want this job- im sick of dramatic gay boys i dont know calling my landline ....
i dont live fo rthe web yall- i rarely if ever google myself i like the perfume and pantone and art blogs=
Oh god my vinatge girl is coming tomorrow she went o a bunch of textile shows an dgot three more POIRETS@ now if i could just get a n ancient model of Poirets legndary rose perfume! mmmmmmm if you dont kno w who Poiret was - you MUST oh darling you MUST-
i love the Edith Wharton, 1843 of W Village, i feel safe there and not force like in aloft to go out all th e time you c an stay in and have your dogs- its gonna take a lot of work whereas the London house just needs some paint wallpaper and a Bocci kitchen with a great flooring- its in a nerighbourhood called Little Venice i adore it ,near belsize park near Primrose Hilla and sort of Maida Vaile- i really just wanthis ONE house.
well im gona make a cake out of rose oil tpmorrow and frosting with candied narcissus and violet..... i think of that Yardleys scent of lavender for some reasons and London streets and violet sellers= i have a Marc violet spritzer afte rthe bath and a L:uaderee violet room atomiser=
im obsessed a bit with Godards Anna Karenina films she was working that collar cuff dress long before me a thick black bang and a collar cuff - the thing about colar cuff is i think i could reaproach collar cuff cos its so me and who i am- and ive grown out of smeary red lippy an dtiaras obviously and slip dresses and baby doll dresses wich were actuallya sort of crepe they stopped making in 1948, it was strecthy an dmostly nude and id put a bow in the back
but teens and 20s ill never give that up and if i find some fabuous collar cuffs im into backing off of it- hmm well confused about my hair- that blonde bob was excellent an d impeccable until some girls broke the roots off and it turned into a bad mullett- im afraid ill a lways have a secret mullet-
well dont we all
have a violet morning and sleep on rose petals( Anna Kareni Godard Films;Bande A part, Vivre sa Vie, Alphaville, and Pierrot La Fou - she was achingly beatiful -
its 2008! have a marigold pancake!
love little miss Bluebell
xxx
Micheal Meade "Fear and Beauty In The Heart Of America"
Duende is anything that knows earth,that has black sounds, anything that has enough shadow and blue descending to black.
Pena Negra, the blacksounds that rise from the mystery of "the root fastened in the mire;the fertile soil that gives us the very substance of art" The mysterious sense of life wound around death speaking dark sounds into the ear of memory,whispering where the breathe of day gathers in the blind reccesses of the soul/
Duende is POWER, not simply work and not only thought, but a struggle with spirit in the blood. Not a question simply of talent given or skill learned, but an issue of genius entering life at the moment of birth, and continuing to whisper dark notes to the mind an dto the heart, More a matter of true living style, , of style written in the soul, and born anew each time the self is willing to die again"
can you relate-= that resonated very powerfully in me- through me, within the conceprt pf music this concept is married to that of sensuality, sexulaity, obsession, addiction, ego death, physical death, sexdeath,deathsex, celebration of the body and the heart, even how cool our hair has to be!
i found a polaroid someone kindly bought off ebay and sent to us- its pictures of Eric witha very young Drew- who as i was looking at West Village houses i got a new whiff of -= she needs to get over any guilt about the Godmother thing, She is family - hell she's told me that= and family has ups and downs- she has nothing to feel guilty about , shes still my Daisy, and Frannies, i know Frannyw as confused- well thats private stuff , but i love how Drew lives so simply-= shes gotten fancier now- she even got a- gasp- interior decorator!! but Drew has zero compunction about packing a backpack and wearing the same jeans and t shirt and Anthropologie jewelry and ive always loved her fresh simplicity- its lovely and i miss it- we have only hung out 3 time sthis year but are not in each others rythym- and i miss that.... staring at photos of pixie Drew with a daisy in her hair- my littel Pisces twin- shes just a few blocks away as is Edward and Stipe- and i think its a great idea to get the hell out of LA for awhile for various reasons- i dont work for a few months- i have alot to do in a few months and im reading all sorts of books on colour and and have a bed covered in the most luxe t shirt fabric- bamboo and pima cotton yep thats my new years date- Pantone Pallettes- iw ish i could scan im just too tired- melon.saffron and a vivid plum stripe, bright teal, navy and a chartruese acid green- is eem to be drawn to Roppongi at night pallettes that and candy pallettes- they had every sot of pallette "nigh life" "rich" " intellectual" "complicated" "cosmetica" "candy" "city life" "nostalgia" "health ( load sof blues) and i just went for Unique 1 - 2 AND 3! my Duende- my novelty seeking gene- i want to make thse t shirts with these textiles so badly-= a 10% silk 10% rayon 10% bamboo and 70% pima cotton ooooooh the luxury ,,,,i want ribbing and i want kids in jackson ville to feel that fabric as oppsoed to the dregs of the cotton business cast offs that the rock biz presents as
"creative" t shirts= iwant machine embroidery and a differnt shape on the arms and felt, burlap, and homesticthing with bugle beads all distressed- i really am rather obsessed with this-=
well i hope you had a great new years i talked to a friend weve been sniffing around for years and ia dore the guy hes one of the only actors i would say is not someones bitch in any way and theres now ay you can ignore his chops= hes one of the best actors in history an di love his values and we share so mcuh in common in terms of process and Duende- i love everything this guy does even when he rolls out the rare commerical film- i just love it- were just friends and i know he understands me and i undertsand him, than again, he directs so thats probably the explanation,
i will end on this Pablo Neruda poem
Sonnet XVII
( 100 Love Sonnetts 1960)
I dont love you as if you were the salt rose topaz or arrow
of carnations that propagate fire
i love you as certain dark things are loved
secretly between shadow and the soul
i love you as the plant that does not bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth
i love you without knowing how
or when, or from where,
I love you simply , without problems or pride,
I love you in this way because i dont know any other way of loving
(amen to that pablo)
but this in wich there is no I or You
so intimate that your hand upon my breast is my hand
so intimate that when i fall asleep it is your eyes that close.
ahhh,resolutions time - remember i made 53 last year i willreview and see what i have kept
the doormat thing i have had a struggle with, i feel as though there are people in my life who do love me but frivolously and recklessly and want me to be dependent and when i strike out for my independence they get upset- i dont like possevness even with caresses or with abuse= or manipulation-
i will never say a bad word about anyone to do with this record i love them all every musician on this record i have a deep seated love for - some eternal gratitide
i have to be free to be me and im not able to do what i insitinctevley know how to do - beisdes those files that were shared- i mean those were the basic skeletons unmixed but not exactly demos- just no comps and unmixed an dtheres absoulutly noway to do what i want now except to pick up and re arrange certain things and hope that id ont live in fear- i dont like fear and i dont like feeling small and i dont like feeling - i dont know worthless- and these things are just my reactions - but i am an empath and i feel all that is in my environment wich i am a 100 percent resposnible for - i just want outta this town for a while la rots the soul after too long yet its part of me and always will be- i just want London and New York a little more- and a malibu shack- that would make me really happy all done in japanese modern super simple tatami mats ikebana wichi can do myself futons really beautiful ones- yeah i want my beach house to loio out atthe dolphins far away from anyone and wash away my duende when it hurts- co shit does hurt as we all know - we are empaths most of us- misfits- freaks - geniuses- trouble makers- provactauers- the ones people give the most shit to- we are outcasted and we are proud of it.As well we should be. They dont lik ethat we think for oursleves and that we think of things first and that we wear and do what we want- it makes us "contriversial"
i dont know if im speaking for you all- i know when i reach inside my self i see limitelss self esteem thats grown from a tiny sprout to a small willow tree, but is not yet strings as an oak whose roots effect every other oak in the place-= you must give give give til it hurts give of your whole self- yes even if it involves a dammed t shirt idea- lets post resolutions tomorrow.
i found in the ebay pile 2 polaroids of me right after NIN and right befor e Larry Flynt i have black hair in these polaroids ( all i wanted for xm,as was 70 spolaroid film like warhol used to use i m waiting its supposed to be coming)
and i look rather cute its sort of my usual mullett slash bob, but the black makes it thicker than the blonde- and you always have to wear makeup= i dunno any suggestions for my hair- i do love this chloe sevigny off big love hair- its fabullous and very very hard to maintain. its a sort of dark reddish blonde and i think its fabulous maybe if i go dark i should go dark an dlong - black an dlong? is that too elvira? black and long like this with wave and curl? its for 18 months,
well you can change between videos.
oooooh im getting some candy for the videos= im so excited Swarovski here we come! ooh please say YES! i need you!
massive things- i think they are genuinly going to prove they can do magical rock and roll lighting thats as far away from Fashion Rocks UK wich had a sort of vegas vibe and out jumps IGGY! BETH DITTO! itwa sodd but i got an amazing ide a i have yet to sit with them but i think theyll be into it- i dunno ill post this picture tomorrow after i scan it and get some sleep and then i have to practice and write some songs aint nothin wrong with more an dmore songs- i realise im country - im far more country in the listening to Loretta and Tammy way than i let on as a small child-= and i always have a bit of a country ish Californioa aesthetic but so did Zeppelin 2 and 3 and 4 too- in any case i can only be true to myself as authentic to who i am and my vision cos in the end its me who has to know in my heart what is right-
i dont wanna discuss much mor ei fthat like i said i adore every single person thats worked on this they defintely worked their asses off,
anway im very excited about the site coming back up with Nirvana too and Kurt to oan dthe film too and princ ess ai too and certain sites going down- itll be a relief let them gather and hate on me anywhere but my site!
i so dont care or notic ebut not on my name oh yay- my lawyer of 11 years has the signed employement contract! wich shows up that former employee as a total perjuror- of cours e id like to discuss with the present moderators on my site the massive amount of responsibility they will have and what i saw on those 11 moderators IM s- just becaus ei dont post there ive tried its dull as dirt an dnewbies looking to join tell me over an dover they are shove doff- noone responds when i answer a question etc well when revamoped it will be my vision it was thrown up to gather ticket requests....
its just my world there will be merchandise up and its ells massively already so i will differenatiate the merch and make it lovely and new and fabulous,
i feel so violated by the stolen 5 am emails to myself- me im a rules girl- i may seem desparate at 4.5 am but i never ever send something like that and it hurts me to no end that this kid i believed in and wa s fond of breaking into my email account for years.
well thats just wrong, I think we can all agree and sending my most vulnerable not for display private self that i share with NOONE no man no people snickering ove r my diary entries deep emotional lying and deep emotional truths that are meant to be discussions between me and me and my pathetoic self an dmy strong self- i am so flipped that someone i trusted would do this to me - well, ill really have to think long and hard about moderators
i also got a good vibe of :?the Jude: if shes still around an di will discuss with Juliet in fact Juliet can call me- and assert herself and tell me what it is i c an do to help her or if she really d oesnt want this job- im sick of dramatic gay boys i dont know calling my landline ....
i dont live fo rthe web yall- i rarely if ever google myself i like the perfume and pantone and art blogs=
Oh god my vinatge girl is coming tomorrow she went o a bunch of textile shows an dgot three more POIRETS@ now if i could just get a n ancient model of Poirets legndary rose perfume! mmmmmmm if you dont kno w who Poiret was - you MUST oh darling you MUST-
i love the Edith Wharton, 1843 of W Village, i feel safe there and not force like in aloft to go out all th e time you c an stay in and have your dogs- its gonna take a lot of work whereas the London house just needs some paint wallpaper and a Bocci kitchen with a great flooring- its in a nerighbourhood called Little Venice i adore it ,near belsize park near Primrose Hilla and sort of Maida Vaile- i really just wanthis ONE house.
well im gona make a cake out of rose oil tpmorrow and frosting with candied narcissus and violet..... i think of that Yardleys scent of lavender for some reasons and London streets and violet sellers= i have a Marc violet spritzer afte rthe bath and a L:uaderee violet room atomiser=
im obsessed a bit with Godards Anna Karenina films she was working that collar cuff dress long before me a thick black bang and a collar cuff - the thing about colar cuff is i think i could reaproach collar cuff cos its so me and who i am- and ive grown out of smeary red lippy an dtiaras obviously and slip dresses and baby doll dresses wich were actuallya sort of crepe they stopped making in 1948, it was strecthy an dmostly nude and id put a bow in the back
but teens and 20s ill never give that up and if i find some fabuous collar cuffs im into backing off of it- hmm well confused about my hair- that blonde bob was excellent an d impeccable until some girls broke the roots off and it turned into a bad mullett- im afraid ill a lways have a secret mullet-
well dont we all
have a violet morning and sleep on rose petals( Anna Kareni Godard Films;Bande A part, Vivre sa Vie, Alphaville, and Pierrot La Fou - she was achingly beatiful -
its 2008! have a marigold pancake!
love little miss Bluebell
xxx
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