a very good journalist has suddely become very intereested indoing s “think piece” on the closing doen of the “other site” i know theres a lot of refugees here, but its bec omer becasude of ewho my laywr is quote the story not about me so much as about thesx detsragglers left behind who post nasty things onsessively,
eso as hearing from you via the mopds andthe mods themselves hearing how few there are and how amny aliases they use and diferent personas to appear bigger than they are, it s axsimple trademark case and i allowed my legal people to speak to this journo today as hes very credible and his papers huge=it sabotu a site cannabilising itself and not a story aboyt me per se at all, i know some of you have talke dto this guy and i just wante dyoutoknow i wish you had asked me but it s fine- hes a good writer and loathes that site as a metaphor, hell publish next month when the sites taken down.
nyway onto mor eposiitve things, im nowhere near goal weight, and we had just come from a movie stars house and had abstained fromndrinking so thats why we lkook a littl;e grumpy they had PETRUS wich is my favourite wine and i had a shake, it was rathe depressing, this girls house is one of my oldest actress friends so we werent all dressed fancy we ran into to get a direcot friend of mine. and ran out. and we had fun adventures all noght watching funny screeners, like the oh so not excitng little children, and breaking anetering- brits get so much dammed work its not funny - its just become tradition.
i didn not look past the pics top the footage of me in the car- im not sure its a really good useage of my time- tonight i had a one on one with Ton yRobbins and it was a liufeshabging expiriebvce it ereally was- he cAME TO A PRIVATE HOSUE TO SPEAK TO ABOUT TEN OF US BUT IT BECAME ABOUT 30 OF US and it was fantasticm we dida spacial sort of mediatation wich really makles me wAntto start my kundalini practoce up again agter openong golden brodge yoga center her in la with gurmukh khalsa- tony was with hos outragously beautifuyland wonderful wife sage and it was trancebdent we talked abotu why peple conitted suicide and i sure wish i had had his numebr in 94 because hes mnever klost anyone to suicide and thats on eof his biggest tasks- suicide prevention, wich he does for anyone, hes the real thing - i knows i know i see thos nfo mercials too-0 but he was just so absouloutly on his game in person and resulst oreinted and he was alittrle patronisinbgabout my Buddhism in a cute way- not realy i thinkhe accepts all faiths are important- but hes got a vision this guy and i really connected to him and his wife and got alot out of the whole expirience, it was totally beautiful……man. hes always given me his number when ive run into him briefly on tv shows etc, but ove always lost them but i dont believ in coincidence juist karma and this wqas a winderful night one of the best in my life.;
it was a mediatetion and hes a reaults person like me if my biddhism didt work i wouldnt do it- but this mediaTTION HE HAD us do was utterly results oriented and fantastic, i reallyahd a very deep spirtual expireinc e so my cvverdict on mr robbins;
absouloute great soul with a real purpose on this earth to help people, i have read “un;imited Power” and enjoyed it, but gthis was far more arcane and lovely and people who in hollyowod dont ever show this kind of enotion were moved to tears and it was heavy and beautiful, im so full on fullof somne sortt of ho;y spriti now i cannot sleep.;
but wer spoke for a good i dunno felt liukke over an hour about swhy people commit suicide and i feel very freed now.
results ladies and gents thats what its all aboyt acheiving results.in a negative world its baout fightingthrough the shit to get othe positive wioderful oyher side.
Courtney

i read it and its a lotta academic =and id idnt knwo there was aqpsych hospital at Yale-= i stuill didnt really get it whats she saying- that the lack of teh cortisoid thing stops the regeneration of braincells? having tried anbd rejected prozac vecause it did “woprk:immediatly h yeah it :”worked: alright i felt like i was this tiny tny hiuman in a huige tin can full of cotton gauze,nightmare- i dont take abilify anymore- i trook it under several doctors advice because of teh druygs i had taken there was a defintite issue with my brain needing to “heal” now i take nothing, the chanting seems to fix any synapses fucking up and the stydying that accomponies it every morning sometimes with ORLANDO and other buddhists who come obver and chaNt with me, the hardest days arewhen [people cant amek it and i gotta drag myass ocver and do at least an hour by myself but if i do two hours wow- the shttha happens- itsmagical really rtuly, maGICAL,
anyway the song came out very whte stripes if you count only drums and guitar as whte stripes i donrt know its a hit but its real and its a screamer and i need to fine tooth the lyrics now.
LPs inw ith Alicia Keys and hansrt got tons of time, so we have to work fast., its still forming but tomorrow were gonna do 12 hours on it and perfect it.
we need a real rocker id have preferred a teen spirit buit we all would prefer a teen spirit for fucks sake, i mean drum and riff druven wich it is biut in a white stripes sort of way- youd never know from listenong thatthat wa sthe reference, but that was the initial idea to keep bass off and just have drummer and me on guitar, well see, so far its called can you make me cry- but thats nit gonna stick,.
thanks fo rhsrong yoru stories and dont worry about me and the forms they are so few and so evil the few times last month i went over there i felt like dante in opurgatory with the sea of people whose arms are begging you to get them out of thier sea of greed lust wrath sloth and animality and misery. i didnt take any of it personally=but itd oes annoy me the bipolar sexual harrasser who pretends he knows me and has been top lunch with me and been to my home rhats creepy creepy,
but hes just a sad case- lives with hos parents in boston and scams people for auto insuiramce for a living- and is obsessed with me- apparenty hes quitre a humuculous accordibg to two girls on here who had todeal woth him and both had top change thie rnames an dnumbers after he stalked them one gota restraining order but he can stalk me legally ( he thinks- wellsee_) beyond that i took none of it perosnally- they arenjttalking about me, theyre fantastising and im the object of thier desire, and the y hate themselves for it-= because if iwasnt theyd simply stop obsessing, they caNT Waitto gethome from their pathetic jbs they created in the world because they cant cereater something positrive in thier world and post about my latest comments or stories to you ior posts, we have a great site ahead of us.
and itll be fun and well allearna lotra nd hiopefrullly the point i to become better educated and better people all round.
why walk thru stinking hell? esp when so many othe rpeople are doing it for my lawuers and for thsoe of you pretendingto particpate i know itshard and sick and bad energy but were so close to gettingthe switch turned off and hosing that place down- they can have a site anyoen can the KKK can- just not using my trademark name.
goodnifht an dthanks fo rall yoru stories i hear you and this is such a fucked up society, i know it was puppy wasnt it? throwing a puppy down the stairs, what stairs? we didnt have stairs, we didnt have puppies- i had one for three days i loved so much but gthen he was gone because my mnother changed her mnond about him kind of like the little afrocan am,erican boy she adopted from tennessee and then left in NZ with a szealous crazed seventh day adventist famu=ily the only africna american in NZ, she changed her mnond about him too.
and only thing left for her to pick on was one of my half isters the one frances tolerates- and i dont lie her ecause she took so much abuse and doesnt speak to the woman abnymore but her self image is so low as is aid its contagious beinga rpound her desperation that runs through allthe half siblings this needy desperate loneliness. from a totallys elf involved and non physcial mother, imperious in abadway not a cute way like frances- who redefined frosty, the woman was ius an icicle and aliar, what a liar, i knwo how she lives with ehrslerf she has nos ense of her own responsibility and no connection to her core or her karma ro teh cosmis law that state sthat any negatove cause you make against another comes back to you times seven. thats not just wiccaN thats in almost every majpr world religion, the times seven part, even in arcane chistianity.
you give it out yout get it back
so to you i wish positive love live and happiness and escape with trashy tv sometimes too.
russells coming next week or the week after i forget but were gonna have fun a more charming man doesnt exist. well have sooooo much fun.
love courtney and may you have many good friends and lots and lots of laughter

god im on suc h a fuckingdeadlne here, i need majort infrastructure, and
major commitment as for look i must have my stylist an dthink of a
simpke easy ( simple alwyas best) not been done look- i may take a page
from madge and rip off some style and alter it, im at that age- butthe
skinny thing and getting ripped will help,the body tself as style.
sounds fuc king hopelessly narcisstistic i know bit it sMY body an dmy
anthropoligal experiment to get to a size four- that aintahppening by
march 1, but i think march 25 is realistic, if i up the cardio to 5
times a week. if my kid goes to boarding school in Vermont wich is her
backup plan if hse doesnt get into this shcool om thinking. get a hippy
house in vermont? isnthat eugene redux or have the 256 miles to nyc and
try that agian witha new loft and really make it beautiful and much
smaller and less ghrand but make it beautiful, just for her on wekends
and me, or a smaller plac ed on central park west, oarties were klame
tonight too many drunk people an di didnt go the hbo one cos i just dont
feel like going outthere til im target weight, i wentto freedom writers
for school reasons and c os my bff prodcued it, and a goodfriend
directed it and because i was ordxered to and billyw as going, so i
dressed MOM not anything else- it was hardly my night. juts had to make
a good impression in school folks boardings chool would kick my ass but
shes dead seriouys about getting into Yale. and becomong a director i
keep saying usc and nyu,,,,,,,,but she wants Yale and EN can help alt
with that. heartbreaking when your kid feels boardingschools okay, and
it isnt any diss of me its just this Yale obsession shes got, i onlyhave
her four more years, and w eopkab on living next door for a long time
even after marriage. she wants to be the first femnale to win the Oscar
for directing, and she bviously gets her ambition from somewhere, i want
her to be cuddly and 6 again, butshes 14 and brilliant, and due to thse
assholes independant- she actually thanked me for never doingd rugs inf
ront of her yesterday except thne once, she never saw or knew id get
htel rooms or got ot ny, i was reallyahppy she sai dthat, we were
talkingabout a certain diva who had smoked for 15 uyears and her
daughter FB ghas hung with and she thanked me for not fucking her up
“toobad”
my xmas present were teacups from tiffanys and the card said t”To joan ,
no wore hangers . Love christina”
i lovet he teacups and we save our tiffaby boxes. swe have a shrine her
room is tiffany blue.
yes mnaterliasm is lame but when youve been as broke as us you make up
fr it sometime ostentsaniusly, i hope not ina vulgar manner……..
loneliness thats whatthis record is about obsessiona ndfear of the dark.
it had to be invoked perfectly. by march 1.
clove

check out sweet spirits candles www,sweetspiritcandles.com
these ladies imet in seattle thjey live ina commune in a coven and they
make candles allyear depensdong onthe moona ndthe day and they WORK
there are candles for everything for abondemnet issues for good
interviews for bullies for everythinga ndtheyre true wiccans and
amazing, and affirdable the owners name is kim sweeet and if it strikes
your fancy tellher i sent you or not- but she might giveyou abetter deal
since i told her to start doing moreonscire spells in the first place im
not wiccan biutthje candles reallyw ork i just ciustomised some- mad
eone for kurt especially- rthey evenm have sellthat horse candle wich i
grabbed and faearys i ordered rose and lilac and all sorts of amazing
spells theyd o naked inthe moonlighgt they live in kent washingtonand
are thereal thing and the candles seem to really work.

ive seen the design for the new site and its awesome, its gobnna b e great, were getting closer and closedr wouldnt be surpirsed if that was up and running b y march 1 too.
im agaiunstthe amrch of time but had to do treadmill and now am doing skincaRE BEFORE i got to studio sinc eill get dirty and off go the fabcy acrylics.
contemot jealouysy and gr=udge holding are three of the biggest sins in my religion. i pray fo rthose who have it- hatred is just atstate of animality and hiungy ghosts, whentied to me ive noticed it accompnies a strange addictive obsession. i pray fo rthos epeople too.that they get well. becaus etheir hatred will not affect my abilities cretivity or success in any way shape or form. i got the “banishing forms” candles frothem today and asked them to do a custom spell for basnishing negative internet forms- they are like sad sad blobs living self loathing and lying lives, yet they cannot get enough of me- i have alot of mods here and from viper room KR vets and a numbe rof KR members who tell me the real names of thes epeople and their “issues” from child molestors to sexual harassers im so not surpirsed thathese people do not leave spiritual or productivelives inany way an dthat they have mental disorders have had a large amount of scary intercations with innocent young women who now dont go there or just go there to retrieve evidence and pose as people who slam me- and theres a number of them- i have asked to not see the posts- defamation in california is tricky but its got naiught to do with the intent of the site- besides wich many other activ ities onthat site are illegal, i feel sorry fo rthem and sad for them and they are in my prayersl. these forms. gotta run mask is dry druvers waiting,
just remmeber you cannot hate someone into fear or givinga shit if they truly do not give a shit- someone tild me everytiume dshed stick up fo rme theyd say she was me- thats how fucked up they are-= or attack her- en masse wich isnt a very large mass- its asmall group opf forms and i do not give one shit about whatt hey say inthe slightest except ewant my name back and illhave it.
you cant make me care about hating.
i simply feel sad for you
court

look alot of people mght be azgauinsty lachapelle and i WILL look at
these others ( esp if you leave a link) but david and me are very cvery
close and he understandsme asnd this desolation i want to depict, its a
LTT thing no genxer femme would ever admit to wasntying to wina beauty
pageant- it was anaethma, that was the yang version of this- ive
beengoing throught he 7 deadlies inmy head, and i keep coming up with
this loneliness the terror of ending up alone an dbroke and messed up
and hes gone and noones coming back, busted and alone, and david has ton
s and tons of art books and is always up for achalleb ge and i belueve
can do muted colours and edgy blac k and whites and mondino= JB is great
and a friend- i have alot of friend photogs but davod and i talk neaRly
daily and he hears me, and c an at leats try and it wont cost the kind
of money that rec ord cos dont give out anymore- he can make that money
from Midori ads and Aguilara vids wic h he doesnt wanna do anymore
anyway, hes pemty rich and unerstands im not in a position to pay 50k a
shot, were true friends.
and i m just exploring options with him we communic ate reallyr eally
really well and he works FAST- March 1 ladies and gents, i can mix and
master by then but art beeds to be turned in bu thenm too we could c om
edup with an idea and shoot it immediatly.
alathough ifit snot right i wont doo it, dont worry trust me- as art was
an embarassment and n ot my idea i fought itg likeek crazy a vanity
painting of mne looking prettier tthan i am was just stupid and though
AS was a c ute title it was TOO TOO TOO tounge in cheek- art counts man,
it truly does. you could do thatg gwen or ray of light vibe but i dont
wanna be on this cv er ieant it ot ba an image that im notin.
cl

im not gping on the cover- just talked to david and tho i willcheck out these suggestions david is vox populi and has now vowed to not take celebrty phtos anymore= hes dead sserious- fired his agent th whole nine- after our cover he felt he was done and also his paris hilton some mag cover he just was over it- hes evened outa little bit makling a few exceptions for things he really wants to do= but we just discussed my ideas anmd he was very inspired so im seeing him mon.
its gotta bed walmart enoughso ripping emins bed would be just bad business and man i gotta go fast- canyou fucking magine talkin g about this dammed record for 9 more months?
id go insane. i cant be a winter release. fuckin cannot do it , altho linda says tll come out when its sposed to- i know my mixer had ababy xmas day and we donty start in london til early feb- he takes a day and ahalf persong and then he revistis every song for half a day, but i gotta run back here cos LPs sched ( shes doing alicia keys amongst other things) dictates that i have valentines day week with her and thats it.a majority of people feel we ARE done, but me and LP want inemor ebombastic rocker, but we start mxing asap and of the four now majors i have tod ecide between wich f the two i feel really believe in it financially too, last week was the worst week in soundscan history, with teh dreamgirls soundtrack selling 60,000. soundscan started right before N irvana and one of the nirvana weeks was one of the top three weeks- a britney week and an eminem week, so at least one rock “band” made it on there- but the biz is fucking sinking its allabout where we ar eright now- the net- viral stuff etc,
when we do the site soon- illask you to include your addy if you want a record first week - w bonus track or somnething fancy- and on this iste i want to know abou tyou how old where you are job etc- so juliet and i have no intention of ever giving yoru data to anyone an d its netirely optional, but itd be good, at Hole.coms heigth we had 100s of thousands of members and the webmistress would not register people properly- wich sucks on alot of levels. christ dont wantto sound bitter c os the upsde is that site is totally worthless except for product of mine wich has its name on the back wic h is how they get new meat- it turn ed out great cos as is aid id ont want those 20 assheads buying my record anyway- and the problem withd ownloading is trust the rec ord comaonies an dthier blacvk math- they giv e us our ROYALTY RATE on that 89 cents- so 17% or whatever instea df the obvious fair thing wich would be to split it 50./50, but guess what im not your go to girl for sleazy music biz practces anymore- im awasre that we stillget charged for “shellac breakage”( they havent used shellac sinc ethe 30s) i just have great lawyers and theres hundred sof new ways to promote a record these days.
i had to end a relationship yesterday - i dontwanna get into details- it was just abusive and there was no upside and although i willalways love this person i could no longer work with them. im quite stressed from it, noone onmy team could deal with this person either. it was too muc h and i cant have the negativity or bullying in my world. I expect that this Buddhism attracts people to me who are vibrating positively in the universe, this was an old relationship and there wasx no spiritual connection, anyway thats enough of my personal life. its boring wellno its actually not- b ut it noones business and bloggin g about it certaonlyw illnot make it better- just dontrallow yourslef to bebullied- lkeep your own counsel and dangerous plus desperate plus not empathic is never a good combo, i wasx weak ina negative space and allowed myself to become isolated and bullied somewhat and i didnt end it when is houldv e i kept thinking i t would work out but its lawyas an indice of how someone is gping to be creatively in b usiness and that adage about doing business with friends is not always true in fact iv e done business with many friends, b ut only as many as i can count on one and half hands, generally its a very bad idea.
dont allow toxic thoughts and gossip into your life- even if you are heartbroken and want to compensate someone for listening to your endless nonstop crisis bullshit guy troubles, dont give your clothes and your things and your assets away cos you feel guilty - a friend is either a friend or not- they cannotexpect that because they havebeen your friend you owe them material things, that is not a true friend. a true frien d istens to your nonstop nonsense because they are a friend, and they dont brin g it up under any circumstance against you when it conme sto finacial or other material matters, that is a toxic person and you need to get rid of them- and thats the wisdom i learned frommy expieirience although my mother would try to haveme make friends and i kept givingthese kids my clothes all of em.
its an old pattern of karma with me and one i need to break for good, thats part of limitless self esteem,
i want to stic k with the winners and yet keep my own counsel haved guidance but not defer to everyone else- toomany dammed cooks in my life = a frustrated and overly complex CLOVE. i need to ask myself thed big questions aND follow the cretativity always, and stick with family who have thier own spiritual and familial shit together- im not into goin g out at night anymore and im not goin g to the Chanel party tonight to kiss siennas butt - she may be the n icest person on the planet my friends freidns withe hr an dwants me to go- but ORLANDO ( i do love sayinghis name co sit drives the bakers dozen sugarpacket folks nutso bananas and yet its justthe truth- were both b uddhists and were friends- whoop de doo) is havinga quiet mellow party i think i may go there. but n o im not inot this years ligger for gg suites. that shit always has a price, its never truly free.you gott atake a picture or something and plus ive never gotten any swag that does anything other than take up space inmy cream drawer in my bathroom and im never gonna drive to the valley to get that obscure facial.
nothing is free and frien ds are friends definitively, theyre there for you, no matter what. they dontw ant your money or your stuff.
court